


Placebo

by Kahnah



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Big brother Michael all the way though, Child Abandonment, Fake AH Crew, Female Jack, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I should probably stop that but I can't, Kinda, Star-crossed multiverse, Streetrat Michael, The lads are kids like so often, some blood and violence but nothing too graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-02-16 18:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 67,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18696865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahnah/pseuds/Kahnah
Summary: "Those two are so lucky to have someone like you to look out for them.""Nobody else would," Michael found himself saying. "Nobody else cared.""That's one of the problems with this city, buddy. Nobody cares.""Because it's easier that way. Hard enough to look out for yourself.""And still you chose differently. You do care."---Fifteen years old Michael adopts Gavin and Ray and tries to survive in Los Santos without getting into any trouble. Of course he gets into trouble and has to realize he's in way over his head





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if some facts about the American school system are wrong but I took some liberties for the sake of the story. Big shout out to Rachel for helping me work through the mess that is the american school system.
> 
> Wtf guys, seriously. America is weird as fuck.
> 
> Also shout out to Riley who came up with the idea like three years ago. Sorry for butchering it so much! (I had way too much fun with this)

Placebo

 

Chapter 1

 

The hand of the clock didn't appear to move at all. Most likely because it was scared by how intensely Michael was staring at it. Or the battery had run out. Was that possible? Would it happen right when he was watching?

Of fucking course it would! He would miss the end of school and the teacher would just talk on and on about a topic Michael had already forgotten about, while outside Ray and Gavin would wait for him and he wouldn't come.

He would come too late to his shift and get his ass kicked.

The hand of the clock moved slightly and he sighed to himself. So much for that.

When he was finally allowed to go he was the first one out of the door, shouldering past his classmates who threw him poisonous glares. Didn't matter, he just had to make sure that he was one of the first at the school gates. That's where Ray and Gavin were waiting, sitting on a low wall and chatting. They were unaware of the looks they were getting, predatory glares because they didn't belong here. They were still in middle school and had no business being at Los Santos High, but it wasn't like they had much of a choice.

Ray's and Gavin's school day ended over an hour before Michael's but he still asked them to wait here for him. The way back home was long and took them through some not so nice neighbourhoods of Los Santos and he could hardly ask them to walk there alone.

Sure, there was a bus they could take, but it wasn't like they had the money for that. Ray needed a new jacket that wasn't too fucking short, so they had to look out for any money they could save.

So they would wait here for him and Michael would walk them home. That didn't mean it still wasn't fucking dangerous, but over the years he had gotten himself some form of reputation in the neighbourhood. The people there usually didn't mess with them anymore but he could never truly count on that.

"Finally," Ray called once he saw Michael approach. His voice pulled the attention from some jocks towards them, but once they noticed Michael they went on.

Good.

"I would've been out five hours ago if I had the choice," he just said and held his hand out so that Gavin could take it and jump down.

"Then you would've to wait for us though," Gavin reminded him and took a tight hold of Michael's sleeve. He liked the texture of Michael's leather jacket even if it was clearly fake. The fabric was already worn right where Gavin twisted it between his fingers.

"Better than sitting there waiting for the clock to move. Come on Ray, we gotta get going."

They walked through the school gate and Michael made sure to stare the jocks down. His hand curled around the switchblade knife in his jacket, always hidden on the side Gavin didn't grasp.

By now he had been forced to pull it three times and it had saved their asses back then.

Today though, the sun stood still high and left the way before them in a stifling heat. That was good, because even the most shady assholes wouldn't have the energy to bother and mess with three kids on their way home.

"Miss Reese is an asshole," Ray proclaimed after a rant about the day and Gavin gasped and looked around as if to make sure that nobody was listening in.

"You can't say that a teacher is an asshole, Ray. We'll get in trouble!"

"Nobody cares, also I believe everyone knows that math teacher are evil. It's math! Why would you chose to teach that? Shouldn't you be happy that you don't have to do math anymore?" Ray huffed in disbelieve. "Most computers can solve that shit for you anyway, why would I have to it anyway?"

Michael silently agreed with Ray but he couldn't say that. Next to him Gavin twisted his sleeve.

"I like math," he admitted. "It's easy. You just put the numbers in."

"And that's why you're weird," Ray told him. "Nobody in their right mind likes math." Ray kicked a broken bottle and seemed to consider running after it but then decided it was too hot.

"Whatever, it still means you have to do your math homework," Michael said, and the boy groaned.

"You don't do your homework either!"

"I do and you have to as well."

Michael stopped in front of a small, rundown coffeeshop and Gavin let go of his sleeve.

"And by the time I get home I want you to be finished with your homework," Michael told them. "Hurry home and get started right after lunch."

"I don't want to hurry, it's super hot!"

"I don't care. The faster you're back, the faster you can sit down." He ruffled through Ray's hair when the other pouted at him. "Now stop being a bitch about it and get going."

"Fine."

"See you later, Michael!"

"Be careful and look out for cars!" he called after them and watched them walk on. It was only another block until they would reach their foster home, but still it left him nervous. A part of him wanted to walk them those last steps as well but then he would really, really be too late for work. His boss turned a blind eye when he was late by a few minutes, but anything over ten minutes and he was fucked.

So once he made sure that the other two made it safely from his view, he turned around and headed to the back of the coffee shop.

The whole shop wasn't much, mostly because people today were used to Starbucks and overpriced crap like that. Here the chairs didn't fit together and some were on the brink of falling apart, but that was fine. Most people didn't come to sit down and were in and out in a matter of minutes. The coffee wasn't the selling point here but the other things you could buy if you asked the right guy. Unfortunately Michael was the right guy.

"You're late," Rob called out to him and Michael just shrugged.

"You know I always am. Your own problem for coming here early."

They met in a quick hug and Michael fought not to pull a face. The other smelled like old sweat and weed. Not the best combo but he kept his mouth shut while Rob slipped his delivery into his pocket. It rested heavy next to the knife there and Michael stepped back for a breath of fresh air.

"See you in the evening then," he muttered and let himself into the coffee shop without waiting for an answer. Rob usually didn't give one, it wasn't like they were friends or anything.

In the back of the shop was the tiny kitchen and Michael nodded towards the older Mexican woman in there. They never really talked but she made the few pastries and cakes they did sell and they were actually delicious. She even let him have any leftovers after she had caught a glance of Ray and Gavin before, so she was good in his book.

He hung up his jacket and slipped the drugs into his apron instead. In the beginning he had worked like that but nowadays he also added the knife. There had been some customers who could get handsy in case he ran out or they couldn't pay.

When he stepped out into the shop Hilary beamed at him and he couldn't help but smile back. Hilary was the fucking saving grace in this place. Not the brightest candle on the cake but good at heart.

She was working the same shift as him and was never bothered that he came in late. On slow days she would also push him to sit down and do his homework, which was honestly the only days he found the time for that.

Maybe he had lied to Ray a bit about his homework situation.

"Hey big guy!" Hilary greeted him and slapped him on the shoulder. "Some of your regulars are here and waiting for you."

He glanced towards his 'regulars' and already knew that they would buy a good portion of his delivery today. Good, he had to worry less about selling everything then.

"I'll get to it."

Hilary smiled at him before hurrying off and he couldn't help but shake his head. Oh sweet, sweet Hilary. She was working here for two years already and still hadn't grasped that they were actually selling drugs and the coffee shop was only a side business.

Nobody could bring themself to tell her though and being around her was like a breath of fresh air. Something Michael surely needed before he took another moment for himself before walking up to his regulars in the back.

 

The sun set slowly when Michael sat on the back steps, waiting for Rob to show up. There was a gnawing hole in his stomach and he was very aware that he hadn't eaten since lunch at school and now it was after 9pm. Also lunch at school had been crackers because everything else was fucking expensive and Ray still needed that new jacket.

Beside him sat a plastic bag with a delicious looking slice of the cherry pie, and a part of him wanted to dig in there. God, he could devour the whole thing in three big bites and just thinking about it made his stomach growl.

"So sorry, am I keeping you from dinner?" Rob called good naturally as he turned the corner, but Michael didn't rise to the bait. He knew that this was payback for making the other wait every afternoon and he was just too tired to fight about it. Instead he reached into his pocket and held the cash out for him.

Of course Rob took his time to count every bill twice as if it was a huge treasure. It wasn't much, Michael had heard that in some part of the city you could make the real big money but that wasn't really an option for him. Not if he had to watch over Ray and Gavin like a hawk and keep them out of trouble.

"Thank you so much for your cooperation," Rob singsonged as he held fifty bucks out to Michael. He snatched the bills and got up from the stairs. Finally, that should be enough for a new jacket.

 

The orphanage looked grand on the outside, at least comparing to the neighbourhood around. The front was of a slightly faded white with a bunch of windows for each room inside. Even the foyer was nice for the occasional but rare visitor.

Michael crossed through it and just lifted his hand towards the old geezer in the office. Hank would mark him down as present so he wouldn't get in trouble.

The deeper Michael entered into the house though, the messier it got. Not even the mess that kids naturally leave behind but just dark, abandoned hallways into the belly of the building, where only every second lamp would work. It looked like straight out of a horror movie and even Michael couldn't fight a shiver. The smaller kids only traveled in packs down here.

But it was the hallway leading to the kitchen and Michael was starving. Dinner was long over so he had to deal with the leftovers, but at this point he didn't even mind if it would be the strange, anemic looking mashed potatoes. Which it was. Like the other three times this week already.

Nonetheless it was food and it helped against the hunger. Also with no one around nobody noticed as he slipped three forks into his bag.

From Ray and Gavin's shared room came music like every other evening but they still heard it when Michael knocked. Gavin pulled the door open to beam up at him and Michael couldn't help but chuckle at his excited state. Still...

"Why wasn't the door locked?"

"Knew you'd come," Gavin told him and let him in.

"Not really the point of locked a door then. You don't want your stuff to get stolen, do you?"

Gavin's smile fell a little when he realized he was being chided and Michael quickly held up the plastic bag. "Dessert?"

That changed the mood immediately and when he sat down Gavin made sure to lock the door behind them. Ray also lifted his head in interest. He was laying on his bed, an old comic book in his hand that was now carelessly thrown aside to sit up.

"Something that isn't mashed potatoes?" he asked, intrigued. "Something with color?"

"Cherry pie."

"Holy shit. That's like actual food!"

There wasn't much in the small room but a low table for drawing and homework. It's where Michael pulled the cake out and held the three forks up.

"Looks fucking good, doesn't it?" he asked and turned away when Ray tried to grasp one of the forks. "No no, not so fast, little shit. It's all yours if you did your homework."

"I fucking did and it was stupid!"

"What about showering? Brushing your teeth?"

"All said and done, alright?"

"So you promise to brush your teeth after this again, right?"

Ray paled, realizing his mistake before blowing up his cheeks. "Sure, whatever. Now gimme, I'm hungry!"

Next to them Gavin chuckled behind his hands. Michael handed him his fork without much question because he didn't have to worry about Gavin as much, at least not in this case. Gavin did what he told him, wanted to be good, while Ray liked to rebel a bit. Every week he seemed to follow Michael's footsteps a little more and he was desperate to put a stop to it. But that was something he could worry about when his day hadn’t been as long. Now the cherry pie tasted like pure heaven during the two bites Michael took before he left the rest to the other two. They pounced at it like starved dogs and happy with himself Michael leaned back to let them.

The orphanage provided them with a roof over their heads and two meals a day. One being breakfast which was actually alright and of course the dreaded mashed potatoes they called dinner. It filled the stomach though and Michael could take care of the rest. Like new clothes or something like fruits and vitamins for the boys, even if it came in the form of pie.

When he had been younger he had been furious with the orphanage about that but he had cooled off. It wasn't like the orphanage had money to spare that didn't get spent on the house or the barest necessities. Michael just had to deal with it and that he did.

Looking around, both Gavin and Ray had spare clothes laying around, they had two sets of shoes each that actually fitted and Michael would deal with the slight jacket problem soon enough. Ray even had a phone, even if it was super old and would shut down after six hours max. It was still a huge deal for him and was now blasting music in the room.

Ray had gotten it himself from some boy in his class for twenty bucks and he was proud of that fact. He had often been pissed off that everyone else had a phone and now he at least belonged to some degree, even when most of his classmates laughed because it was such an old model. Ray could deal with that though, because Ray was funny and cynical and thanks to that kinda popular at school.

Gavin was too shy for that, always quiet in class and holding back. That was a bit of a shame because once he opened up he was funny and very smart, but he was managing. At least Michael believed so because Gavin didn't say that he had any kind of problem in school. Also, Ray would probably tell him about it.

Those two were in the same class, so at least Gavin had one friend there, and Ray probably wouldn't take anyone's shit in case someone wanted to mess with them. No, for that Michael had heard too often how Ray had gotten into trouble with some bully at school. Unfortunately Ray was built like a stick and about as strong as well, so it usually didn't turn out in his favor.

If Michael was there he could make sure that the two of them would be left in peace, but with them being twelve and him being fifteen that wasn't quite possible.

"You guys wanna go shopping this weekend?" Michael asked, absentmindedly. His eyes were still on the old phone laying on Ray's bed. Nothing but rubbish for most people, but in here, a treasure. That's why they had to lock down the door and make sure nobody could break in. He had already noticed that some other kids were eying Ray greedily.

"Am I getting my new jacket? Can I get a leather one like you?"

Michael pulled a face. They certainly didn't have the funds for that but Ray was staring at him so eagerly.

"We'll see. You know they're expensive."

Ray deflated a little and turned back around to let it out on the cake.

"I wish my dad would come around to give me a cool jacket."

Michael just hummed because he didn't know what else to answer to that. The jacket had been a present by his old man, true, and he had been so happy with it. It had to be a big investment for his dad as well because it certainly hadn't been cheap.

It had been a nice surprise.

On his other side Gavin put down his fork, quiet and pale and Michael quickly changed the topic.

"We'll look for a good deal. Maybe we'll get lucky."

 

Michael had the luxury to have a room for himself. Technically he shared it with a guy named Todd, but Todd never showed up. Michael hadn't seen him for months and he prefered it like that. That way the other couldn't bother him and Michael had long snatched the second blanket for himself.

He was watching the unoccupied bed listlessly.

Todd was sixteen, so nobody really cared what he did and knowing that he himself would turn sixteen soon, he wondered if it would be the same for him. That was a horrible thought and he tried to shake it off. It didn't help that his gaze continued to travel to his school bag, knowing he hadn't touched it again. There was just no time, he finally made it into bed now and it was already 11pm. He was tired and exhausted and hyped up at the same time, no way he would be able to sit up and concentrate on his homework.

No, all he had to do was wait for the knock on his door and when it came he was out of bed and letting Gavin in. They didn't talk about the fact that Gavin had horrible nightmares whenever he slept alone and so usually crawled into his or Ray's bed. It was just a fact that stayed between the three of them like so many other things and it was fine like that.

Michael tugged him into the second blanket before laying down as well without another word.

"I don't believe in luck," Gavin whispered after a while. He had his head on Michael's arm but was turned away, the end of his sleeve tightly grasped.

"What are you talking about?"

"You told Ray that maybe you'd get lucky with the jacket. I don't believe in luck."

Michael turned to watch the other. In the artificial light coming from outside his hair appeared nearly white and it always left him with an awful feeling seeing it like that. He didn't know why.

"Well... luck is a thing that does exist. If you believe in it or not."

"Like God?"

"Where's that coming from?"

Gavin sighed and nuzzled into Michael's arm. "That counselor lady at school tells me all about God and that he will help me and shit."

"It does for some people," Michael said carefully, but Gavin just huffed.

"I rather believe in luck than a guy sitting up in the sky and staring down at this mess of a world, still claiming he loves us."

Michael hesitated for a moment before he reached out to ruffle Gavin's hair.

"You're talking an awful lot of shit for someone of your age and during that time of day," he told him and felt a bit lighter when Gavin actually chuckled.

"You're probably right. The lady is just getting on my nerves."

"Just tell her exactly what you told me right now and I'm sure she will let you have your peace."

Gavin squirmed by the thought alone and Michael had to roll his eyes. Of course, Gavin would never so much as raise his voice against an authority figure or well... anyone really.

"If you want I can talk to her," Michael offered and Gavin quickly shook his head.

"It's fine."

"Okay then. Ready to get some rest?"

"Yeah. Good night, Michael."

"Night, Gavvers."

 

* * *

 

They didn't get lucky. The only leather jacket they found was so far off the budget that it was actually hysterical. Ray didn't even mention it. Michael caught him throw a glance at it before turning back towards the cheaper alternatives, all without so much as raising a brow.

Like he expected that. Like he also hadn't believed in it in the first place, and Michael hated that.

He wished it was different, that somehow they had actually gotten lucky just so Michael could show them that it was possible. They were too fucking young to wear that expression!

Unfortunately he wasn't in a position to protest and just steered Ray towards a cool looking superhero jacket that clearly wasn't original, but who cared. While the boys looked around Michael actually stood in front of the leather jacket, the hand around his knife.

What if he cut it apart a little? Just a bit, nothing that he couldn't fix with a thread and needle. It might even look cooler than, like Ray had been in a fight. Surely they would get it cheaper then.

Reality was though, that none of the clerks here would believe him. They would all know that he had done it and maybe call the police. They were already watching him from across the shop, or at least it felt like it. No need to pull anymore attention to himself.

"This one," Ray finally said and held a bright purple jacket up.

"Looks good, bud." Michael took the jacket and checked on the tag. Definitely more in their price range, but a size too large.

Before he could ask, Ray said, "I like it when it's bigger. It's more comfy that way." He shrugged. "Also no need to buy a new one in two months by the rate I'm growing."

"Which is nonexistent," Gavin said wisely and then cried out when Ray jabbed him in the side.

"As if you're one to talk!"

"I'm taller than you!"

"Only in your dreams!"

"Alright, alright," Michael interrupted them because now the clerks were absolutely checking on them and their gazes showed how annoyed they were. Ray's words left him with a lump in his throat but he wasn't wrong.

"You sure about this jacket?"

"Yeah, I just told you."

"Okay." Michael moved towards the check out and the lady looked at him as if she expected him not to pay. As if he was dirt.

He threw the jacket before her and the fifty bucks on top. She had the decency to look surprised and rang them up without another word.

A second clerk was standing behind them, Michael could feel their gaze travel over him. Probably to check if he had stolen anything. They kept their mouth shut though and when Michael took his change, he marched the boys out without another glance.

The two didn't seem to notice the tense situation and were just chatting among themselves. Michael was glad for that.

They stepped onto the crowded streets of Los Santos and Gavin's hand found his sleeve without him missing a beat. That was good and so Michael only had to keep an eye on Ray who walked in front of him.

The sun was beating down on them, reflecting from the tarmac beneath and letting the heat linger in between the sea of bodies. Michael could smell the sweat coming from the people around and even worse, those who tried to get rid of it with too sweet cologne. It laid heavy on his tongue and made him sick in his stomach. He didn't like crowds, they made him nervous because there were so many things to look out for.

Ray and Gavin of course, who at least kept close. Then there were his pockets. He knew his fair share about pickpocketing, after all he had done it himself in desperate times, but some were out there with fingers quicker than he had ever been himself and gone like a shadow.

There wasn't much to get from him but sometimes that was exactly the problem and people would get mad. Those were the scary ones.

The heat didn't help and he was already getting a headache just being out here. Like this it seemed ridiculous that Ray would ever need a jacket but the colder months were coming and once the sun was gone it could get surprisingly cold. Not here, not between the valleys of the skyscrapers were the heat was trapped, but back at home where the buildings were lower and the nights longer.

Ray got nearly run over by someone hurrying by but his hand had already wandered to his pocket, protecting his phone. Good boy.

Michael steadied him and then pulled them both to the side away from the stream of people. It gave him an opportunity to breath and he took it gladly.

"It's lunch time," he realized and wanted to kick himself. Of course, it was his own fault for not thinking about it.

"There are a lot of people around," Gavin just said and twisted the sleeve tighter. His eyes though wandered nervously over the people around.

"Let's wait for a moment, alright?"

They huddled in the shadow of a travel agency and Ray and Gavin were eying the pictures in the window in wonder. Beautiful beaches that weren't as dirty and overcrowded as the ones in Los Santos. Even snowy mountains here and there, and Michael knew that neither of them had ever seen snow before in their lives. He wondered if they ever would and then huffed.

That was truly one of the least of his problems.

Still he turned towards the two of them and told them about snow. About skiing and sledding and hot cocoa in front of a fireplace. Of snow as far as the eye could see and mountains higher than the skyscrapers around. Of ice covered lakes that they shouldn't step onto, no matter how thick the ice seemed from up above.

They listened in wonder because that was one thing that Michael could do. Talking and dreaming and acting as if he knew the world. As if he had stood on that very mountain, living in a comfortable hut with a big stone fire place.

"There are better things to do with money," Ray said after a while and pointed to the price labeled next to the pictures. It was a such absurdly high number that all they could really do was joke about it.

"Yeah? Like what?"

"I don't know. Stuff just. Food and a roof, I guess?" Ray shrugged but looked rather confused. He couldn't grasp that amount of money.

"But could you imagine having so much money?" Gavin asked. He was pressing his face against the window as if he could phase through. "Like imagine having all that. Food and a roof and everything else and you still had enough money to go there! Isn't that insane? Some people do it once a year!"

"How the fuck am I meant to imagine that?" Ray asked with a huff. "Dumpster baby, remember? A roof over my head is like my biggest goal in the future!"

Michael cringed and laid his hand on Ray's head to ruffle his hair before he could talk further. "Well, dumpster baby, that's a good enough goal. How about we get going because Gavin smeared his whole face over the window and we're getting some nasty looks from inside."

The two of them gasped, Gavin in shock and Ray in excitement. Then they giggled. Michael loved the sound of that and then pulled them further.

Their little discourse had killed some time and the worst of the rush was done. Without the streets so full it was easier to walk around and Michael dared to relax a little. With one hand in his pocket he felt the change he had just gotten back and pondered over it.

Ray's jacket had been in the budget but had nearly drained it. That was fine, that was what the money had been for but now came the time when Michael should start save up again. He didn't yet know what for, but there was always the next thing. Always another catastrophe that was polite enough to wait until the first one was solved.

Still, right now he didn't want to think about that. No, for once he wanted to pretend that this was a Saturday just there to reward themselves like he often saw his classmates do. They met up in the city, going shopping and then out for lunch. Going to arcades to mindlessly blow out their money as if it grew on trees. That wasn't quite possible for them to do but there was something nearly as good.

"You guys in the mood for some ice cream?" he asked and bright eyes turned to him.

"Are you for real?"

"But we just bought the new jacket!"

Michael huffed as if it wasn't a big thing. "Would I ever joke about ice cream?"

That earned him a tirade of excited screaming. It was hard to not bask in it because just for this afternoon the shadow hanging above them seemed lifted.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Michael?"  
> "Yeah?"  
> "Are you in trouble?"  
> Closing his eyes he pulled Gavin closer, a hand on his head so that he couldn't look up at him.  
> "Of course not. Everything's okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so things start to escalate

Chapter 2

 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Michael gasped and threw another look towards the stall door. Still closed, still nobody with him inside of here. Which made sense because it was close to midnight and everyone else at the orphanage should be already asleep. That didn't mean that some straggler couldn't show up here because they had to take a shit in the middle of the night. That didn't fucking mean that Ray or Gavin wouldn't look for him because he hadn't checked on them after work.

What if they did? What if Gavin woke up and decided to sleep in his bed instead of Ray's? What if he would sneak into Michael's room because he hadn't fucking locked it getting out of there, right?

Gavin would see the mess when he had looked for a clean shirt and Gavin would fucking notice the bloody handprints he had left on his door and the light switch and the wardrobe.

"Fuck!" Michael squeezed out through his teeth again.

He wrapped his shirt tighter around his leg but it wouldn't help. There was still blood coming from the cut right above his knee and it was a fuck ton. At least he believed so. Maybe he was just being dramatic, maybe it actually wasn't as bad.

All he knew was that he had never bled as much in his life before. Not when he had fallen down the stairs in second grade and broke his arm, not in his mindless scuffles at school.

Now the leg of his jeans was deep red and whenever Michael dared to glance at the cut, it looked like a dark maw.

He had been all out of drugs today but those guys just wouldn't take no for an answer. Those guys were drunk and wanted more and didn't get that Michael didn't have anything left. So they had threatened him and he? He had been fucking stupid, thinking he could scare them off in pulling his own knife.

He hadn't even gotten a slice or punch in because he actually didn't fucking know how to use that damn thing. They had known though and the pain had been like a wake-up slap to sober him up.

Michael had run then because he had been deadly scared at that moment. The guys had laughed and hadn't come after him but that picture was still in his head. His mangled body being found behind the coffee shop and who would care?

Who would fucking care?

There were probably a dozen bodies like that found every morning in Los Santos. Just another number in the statistics, and what would happen to Ray and Gavin then?

He couldn't just leave them here alone, that wasn't part of the fucking plan. There was no future here and who would make sure that they didn't get in trouble? That they stayed in school and got some damn food in them?

Michael let his head fall against the stall walls and closed his eyes, trying to clear his head. But who was he kidding? He was so fucking scared even now. His hands were shaking so much that he had a hard time grasping the shirt tightly and he was jumpy. Every time that damn old light flickered over him he jumped, thinking the shadows were from someone coming for him, finishing the job.

He shouldn't have come here in the first place. If someone had followed him they would know exactly where he lived now. The other kids in her might even be in danger because of him but in that moment he hadn't thought about that.

He had just wanted to get away, to get somewhere safe and this was the closest thing to a home he had. Now he sat on the toilet in this dirty ass bathroom and bled on the tiles and lose toilet paper beneath. There was fucking blood in his shoe, he had heard it squelch while moving around.

He forced himself to take another look at the cut and felt himself grow sick. It was still bleeding.

Thick dark blood was pouring out steadily and the new shirt he had grabbed was already ruined.

Fuck, what was he supposed to do? In movies, they wrapped something around the wound and it was fine. They groaned a bit and then walked on as if it was nothing, a bumped knee or whatever.

He was pretty sure he would get light headed if he tried to get up again and fuck, was that because of the blood loss? Probably not, he hadn't lost that much blood, right? But now the thought was in his head and he had to bite his lip hard to not start crying.

He didn't want to die. He didn't want to die in a fucking dirty bathroom stall like so many others. He didn't want one of the kids to find him in the morning. He didn't want Ray or Gavin seeing him like this.

"Come on," Michael hissed and hit his head a bit hard against the wall as if that would help him clear it. "Think, Michael. Fucking think about this!"

Okay, so he wasn't sure he could stop the bleeding by himself. Alright, so maybe he needed help. Who?

The staff here? Great idea, they would probably bring him to a hospital alright but after that, he would be thrown out of here. That's what's happening to trouble makers; you best stay quiet and under the radar in here. Eat your food and don't make a mess, easy as that.

Michael was too loud for their taste anyway and if he didn't help the younger kids in some way he would probably be long gone.

So who else?

For a terrifying moment, his brain came up with nothing. Nothing at all.

He could probably take a taxi to the hospital and get his leg fixed but the thought about the cost made him shiver. There was no way he could pay the bill and there was no way the orphanage wouldn't find out about it afterward.

Maybe it would stop if he put more pressure on it? But he didn't dare to trust it because he was fifteen and shaking and in pain. He didn't want to die like this.

Rob, he realized then.

Rob might be able to help him, and he reached for his pockets in search for his phone. It was a more modern one than Ray had and he only used it to contact Rob. That's why Rob had given it to him anyway, and Michael was too scared that he had somehow tampered with it. Maybe Rob could see and read whatever he was doing with it or find out his location. That was possible, right?

So he just kept it locked away in his wardrobe unless he was working. Like tonight and now he was so glad about that fact that he could start crying.

He swallowed it down and unlocked the phone with bloody fingers. There was only Rob's number in here and he called him without any more thought. He wasn't even sure how Rob would react or if he would pick up in the first place but there was no one else Michael could turn to and he was scared, he was so fuck-

"Michael?"

Rob's voice made him jump even though he had hoped for it and he opened his mouth to answer but there was a lump in his throat and he was scared to just start crying on the spot.

"Everything alright? Michael, are you there?"

Clearing his throat, Michael closed his eyes.

"Hey Rob, sorry for bothering you so late," he brought out and was kinda proud how levelheaded he sounded, at least for his current situation. He didn't want Rob to think of him as weak. Rob had been in this business way too long without getting taken out to not be somehow dangerous. Right now he didn't sound like it, he even sounded a bit concerned and Michael was kinda counting on that.

"What's the matter. You in trouble?"

"Kinda. I got in some problems with some of my clients because I ran out and now I kinda need your help."

"I'll be there in ten."

 

Michael had his eyes closed and had to hold back his pained grunts with all his strength. He was in the back of Rob's car, bleeding all over the seats. Rob himself was bent over his leg and was sewing the cut shut. In the dim light, the blood looked dark and kinda like Michael had pissed himself but that was the least of his concern.

He wasn't so much fearing he would actually piss himself but rather that he would throw up by the methodical movements. Rob might be fine with the blood over his seats but probably not with vomit, that might take it too far. Still, there was a fucking needle going in and out of him, and just picturing nearly made him gag.

At least he didn't cry. He nearly had when he had told Rob about what had happened but he had kept his eyes unfocused at whatever was in front of him while they drove through the city to find a remote area. At least he had that part under control.

Rob's movements stopped and it took Michael a while to dare and open his eyes. Rob was staring at him and that made him shiver.

He was an ugly fellow, was the thing. Somehow unwashed with a hint of a beard that looked more like pubic hair than anything else. Shifty most of all and Michael had no illusions that he didn't actually give a fuck about Michael. Still, that was the first time Rob was really looking at him and he didn't like it. He was awkwardly aware of his leg in Rob's lap and the hands on his bare skin.

"Doesn't look pretty," Rob finally said after a moment of awkward silence. "But it's shut."

"Thank you." He didn't give a fuck how it looked right now but it had finally stopped bleeding. That was all that mattered right now.

"I don't have any bandages or shit but if you got one you should probably put it around it and not put too much pressure on it." He patted Michael's thigh and Michael had to fight down another shiver. He carefully moved his leg from the other's lap, flinching when the movement reached the cut but pulling through.

"Thank you," he just repeated and sat up. He was very aware that Rob was still watching him and tried not to have direct eye contact.

"If those guys show up again to make trouble call me instantly," Rob told him and Michael just nodded. That was a thing that he hadn't even thought about. Those guys coming back, sitting outside the coffee shop and wait for him. Maybe to just scare him a bit, maybe to finish him off.

Fuck what had he gotten himself into?

Rob was still watching him but now he was moving and that was maybe worse. He didn't want the guy close to him because even though Rob had helped him, that didn't mean he trusted him. Not one bit.

Thankfully Rob just climbed to the front of the car to rummage through his gloves department and Michael dared to take a deep breath. That was at least some distance between them.

He dared to throw a look towards his leg and grimaced. The blood had only been hastily wiped away but now he could see the cut clearer and as it wasn't as big as he had feared, it still looked grotesque. The edges were deep red and swollen like they were daring to burst from the thin black threat that was holding it together. It was also throbbing steadily along with his heartbeat.

"That's what happens when you bring a knife to a gunfight," Rob called from the front.

"All of us had knives," Michael just said because he really wasn't in the mood for games. He was exhausted and thirsty and just wanted to be back home and in his room.

Unfortunately, that was a far away dream because they were parked in some dark alleyway somewhere in an unfamiliar area of Los Santos.

Could this day get any worse?

Apparently, it could because when Rob turned back around, he held a gun right beneath Michael's nose. He wasn't aiming at him or anything but it still made Michael's pulse skyrocketing. Reeling back, he stared at Rob who apparently found the whole situation very funny and started laughing.

"Take it!" he said. "For next time."

"I don't want it," Michael said. He had never even touched a gun and he wasn't going to start now. Just looking at it made him sick to his stomach.

"Why not? Waving that in front of those idiot's face would've surely made them run away." Rob pushed the gun closer to him and Michael pressed his back into the seat to get away. When he still wouldn't take it Rob just let it drop into his lap, making Michael jump.

"Not saying you should shoot anyone. Just a safety measure." Rob turned back around to slip onto the driver seat and start the car.

For a long moment, Michael just stared at the gun, feeling the cold weight in his lap and well aware how deadly this simple thing could be. Still, Rob was right about some things. That would've certainly scared those guys away, would show them not to mess with him.

He didn't have to carry it around loaded, right?

His eyes traveled up but Rob wasn't paying any attention to him. He was driving them back to more familiar parts of Los Santos and Michael dared to relax against the window. The exhaustion of the day was sinking in and his leg still hurt. Outside the city laid bright before the dark night and he had no idea how late it already was.

What a god awful day.

 

"Stay off of your leg tomorrow and take the day off," Rob told him as Michael heaved himself out of the car.

"Alright." Holding himself up on the door Michael lingered a little awkwardly next to the car before shrugging. "Thank you again."

"No worries. I know you'll make it up to me." Rob winked at him and that didn't mean good things. It couldn't, but Michael was too tired to worry about that now. His now ruined jeans clung to him, stiff with blood but it was better than nothing at all for his own version of the walk of shame.

Throwing the door shut, he watched as Rob sped away and then made his way home. It wasn't that far from the road to the orphanage but the cut hurt like a bitch with each step and even though he tried to jump on one leg, he was just too tired for it.

When he finally made it to his room, he collapsed on his bed and didn't move for the longest time. It felt a little like dying as he did so, face buried in his pillow so it was hard to breathe and his leg was pounding away. Still, he felt himself drifting off but before he could do so he shook himself.

Getting back up he got back into the bathroom down the hallway. He had to wash the blood not only from himself but from all the places he had touched this evening. Also a bandage, Rob had told him to get one and that sounded like a good idea.

As he stood in the artificial white light the wound looked even worse than before and before he knew what he was doing, he was hunched over the sink to throw up. It wasn't much because there wasn't much in his stomach but it was violent nonetheless. The fear and adrenaline and everything else that happened and god, he was so tired. Not only that there was a gun. There was a gun messily hidden beneath his pillow right now and he should've just let it stay in Rob's car but no, he had taken it and now it was here. Here in a house full of kids.

Fuck.

By the time Michael was done with cleaning after himself, it was nearly 3am and he was dead on his feet. This time when he dropped onto his bed, he was out like a light before he hit the pillow.

 

Even though he went to bed very late, the night still felt like it took forever. He woke up over a dozen times and it was still dark, an endless night that wouldn't end. His leg felt like it was on fire, burning and pounding and when he managed to drift off again, he dreamed.

He dreamed about shapeless things moving in the corner of his eye. He dreamed about loud bangs and sparks and knife. The color red and how dark and scary it looked on white tiles, how it stuck to his socks and skin.

It was a restless form of sleep and when he woke up and found sunlight in his room, he was glad that the night was finally over. Looking around, he found the reason why he was awake and when Ray noticed him, Michael pulled himself together. The small boy was standing in his room, still dressed in his pajamas, but now he came closer.

"You didn't lock the door to your room," he told him and Michael snorted.

"I was too tired yesterday."

"You got home super late," Ray agreed. "We waited but went to bed at some point."

"Good call, it took me forever to come home."

"Where were you then?" Ray asked and sat down on the edge of his bed. Michael carefully pulled his hurt leg away from him. It still hurt and he figured it would take a while until it wouldn't.

"Just out."

"Did you go on a date or something?"

"Sure, on three actually."

"Oh, sweet." Ray nodded to himself before looking up as Gavin entered the room. Once his eyes fell on Michael a big smile stretched across his face and without any hesitation he jumped onto the bed.

Michael closed his eyes and thanked every available God that he didn't hit his leg right then because he was pretty sure he would've screamed himself hoarse.

"You're late, Michael," Gavin told him. "Did your alarm not ring?"

It hadn't because he hadn't set it. Also, he had no intention to go to school today, no, he wanted to take Rob's advice and rest his leg for as long as he could.

"Can you go alone to school today?" he asked, and felt bad when Gavin's smile fell.

"Are you sick?"

"Feels like it a bit, so I just want to make sure."

Gavin laid a hand on his forehead and Michael was actually surprised how cold it felt.

"I think you have a fever. Should we call someone?"

"No need to. I'll just rest some more and be fine."

Now Ray leaned over him in worry and Michael just rolled his eyes and waved him off. "I'm fine, I tell you. You guys should get ready."

They weren't happy with that, but with a look towards each other they gave in. Good, because he really needed to piss and couldn't have them see him limping around.

"I'll pick you up from school, how's that?" he offered. That was in a few hours, he could rest some more and then test his leg.

"If you say so..."

He shushed them out of his room before they could pin him down with their puppy eyes and when he finally couldn't see them anymore, he pulled himself into a sitting position. Throwing the blanket from his legs he winced.

The bandage he had hastily wrapped around it was all crumpled up and when he pulled it aside it had cut into his leg. Around the stitches, the skin was raised and tender and he didn't quite dare to touch it. The black strings looked like they were barely holding it together from bursting open and he didn't want to know what was inside. The small holes and the gash itself was of a worrying dark red color.

Shit, hopefully, that would heal soon.

Wrapping the bandage back around he could still hear children chattering outside, getting ready for their day at school and Michael decided to wait until it had calmed down before he left the safety of his room.

 

The next thing he knew there was another cold hand on his face, feeling his temperature. It was Ray once more and Michael frowned up to him.

"What are you doing here? You should be in school."

"School's already out, you dickhead."

"What?" Michael sat up a tad too quick. Pain shot up through the entire length of his leg and he couldn't help but whimper.

Ray stared down at him in worry, his cold hand now on Michael's shoulder. God, his shirt was clinging on him because he had sweated through it.

"You guys walked back alone? I told you I would get you!"

"We waited but you didn't show up," Ray just told him and tried to push him back down. For a moment Michael fought against it before he actually did lay down.

"We were careful and didn't get in trouble. It's fine, Michael."

It wasn't, far from it. Just thinking about what could've happened made his stomach turn but there was nothing left in it to throw up. God, he had just slipped back into sleep and left both Ray and Gavin defenseless out there.

What was he thinking? What if someone had come after them?

Ray let something drop into his lap and Michael frowned at the pills. They were still in their little package and when Michael picked them up he recognized them as pain killers. The good kind.

"Where did you get those?"

"Bought them on the way back."

"Sure you did. They are probably like sixty dollars."

Ray just shrugged and git up but Michael snatched his arm beforehand.

"You fucking stole them!"

"So what?"

"Is that your idea of not getting into trouble, Ray?"

"You needed them, right? You are not feeling right!" Ray just protested and tried to pull himself free but Michael dug his fingers into his arm.

"That's not a reason! What if you've gotten caught!"

"As if you wouldn't have done the same for me!"

"I'm older than you! I know the risk!"

"And because you're older you'll get into way more trouble if you get caught!" Ray protested. With one last pull, he freed himself but instead of running away he just stared down at Michael, something fierce in his eyes.

Michael was too livid to notice.

"You and Gavin have to stay out of trouble," he snapped at Ray. "You think you will find any kind of job when they see you're a thief?"

"Of come on, Michael! You act as if I'll be anything more than a busboy or something! Should I ever be on my way to becoming the president and people ask me why I stole, I tell them why! I fucking tell them about this situation right here and if they still judge me about it then fuck them!" Ray huffed in anger, and Michael just stared up to him, not knowing what to tell him.

He was still pissed and wanted to take and shake him until he would admit that  _ of course _ Ray would make something out of himself later. Another part, although much smaller was a bit touched by his words. Still, it was Michael's role to take care of him because there was no one out there who did otherwise.

"Don't do that again," he settled on and pointed the pills at him.

"Whatever. I'll smuggle you some mashed potatoes in here. Gonna get your nutrition."

 

The pills were strong, or maybe Michael shouldn't have taken them on an empty stomach. On the other hand, he wasn't sure if the mashed potatoes would've helped a lot in that matter. He drifted off before Ray returned but wasn't really asleep. He came clear in stages and the other two were always around.

There was Gavin, apparently hovering above him with a cold hand against his skin and there was Ray, sitting crossed legged on the floor. They were doing their homework, Michael realized after a while as he watched them working together quietly.

That was good, if they were here he didn't have to worry about them getting in trouble. If they were around he could protect them.

At some point, Gavin brought him a bottle of water and he gulped the whole thing down. Fuck, he hadn't even realized how thirsty he was! It felt like being born again and gave him new strength. It also reminded him without any hesitation that he had to pee for what had probably been hours now.

At least the pain killers did their job and he managed to go to the bathroom without much problem. Inside he took another look at the cut and it still looked nasty but maybe not as bad as before. Right? Like it was still red and swollen but not as much anymore. Positive thinking and all that.

Fuck, he hadn't even thought about it but he hadn't been to work either today. Rob had told him to take today off but Michael didn't want to owe that guy anything more. He was already way more in his debt than he ever wanted to and he knew that meant trouble. That meant a shitton of trouble because whatever Rob would want from him, he couldn't really refuse now. Rob had saved his ass last night and like hell, he would make Michael forget about that.

Still, that was a thing he could worry about later when his head would stop spinning from the painkillers. Tomorrow he would just show up to work again and see what would happen. Not the best kind of plan but all the options he had right now.

Hobbling back into his room, he could tell immediately that something was off. It was in the way it was quiet in there even though both Ray and Gavin were staring at him, wide-eyed. As if they had done something they know they shouldn't have and he was ready to snap at them for whatever it was but the words got stuck in his throat.

Because Gavin was pale as a sheet and actually taking a careful step back from Michael. Fuck, had they found some traces of blood or something? He was pretty sure he had cleaned everything but he had only shoved his jeans beneath the bed and that wasn't the most secure hiding space.

But then the gun slipped from Ray's hand and clattered on the floor and Michael's heart stopped. For a second he could hear the shot, could see it hit one of them and how they would collapse in pain.

Of course, that didn't happen because the gun wasn't loaded in the first place and even if, it would've only shot his wardrobe. Still-

Ray had jumped at the noise but now as Michael walked towards him, he pressed himself against the wall as if afraid. But no, there was just something defiant in his eyes as he looked up to him.

"You got a gun?" It sounded nearly impressed and Michael hated it.

"Stop going through my stuff," he snapped at him and picked the gun up from the floor.

"It was under your fucking pillow, peeking out!"

Yeah, because he had passed out before finding a good hiding spot. Because he hadn't fucking thought about it all day and now those two knew. Those two knew and he wanted to slap that fucking greedy look right off of Ray's face.

"Don't touch it! You don't know what to do with it!"

"Can you show me?"

"What? No! This isn't a toy!"

"I know that! I just thought-"

He shoved Ray aside before he could tell him whatever he thought because he honestly didn't care. He was angry, mostly at himself for such a fucking stupid slip up. Shit, if that thing would've been loaded-

Now Ray was pissed at him and stormed out of his room and Michael didn't even think about following him. No, he had to find a better hiding spot for this damn gun. Somewhere where Ray would never be able to find it because now he was surely going to keep looking for it. But as Michael looked around he still found Gavin on the other side of the room.

The boy was pressing himself against the second bed as if he was trying to hide behind it and that made dread curl in Michael's stomach. Shit, right, that probably didn't look good.

"Is it real?" Gavin whispered and Michael bit down on his lip.

He sat down heavily on his bed because his legs didn't feel very strong right now. The gun he laid in his lap and could tell how Gavin's eyes followed each movement carefully.

"It is," he admitted and even over the distance he could hear the sharp intake of breath coming from Gavin.

"But I'm not using it," Michael assured him quickly. "It's not loaded, alright? Actually, I don't even own any ammo for it."

"Then why do you have it?"

"Just to scare people off if I need to."

"Why would we have to scare anyone off? We're not doing anything, are we?"

This time Michael kept his mouth shut because of course Gavin didn't know about the shit that was going on. Gavin had grown up in better circumstances and this was all relatively new to him. Ray wasn't as easy to trick, Ray knew this life well enough to not be fooled what Michael was doing.

That's why Ray tried to follow in Michael's footsteps, because he knew no other way. It was the reason why Michael sometimes worried himself sick over the other boy, because he didn't know any other way he could show him. All he knew came from silly TV shows and movies he sneaked himself into.

Learn hard, work hard, and it will be rewarding. So he would force Ray to stay in school and to get a good job. Otherwise, he would never get out of here.

Gavin... Gavin had a taste of a life outside of the system and that was refreshing in its own right. He was a bright little guy and knew school was important. It was mostly thanks to him that Ray was more interested in school nowadays because he had finally someone he got along with in class.

But this right here? A gun and drugs and trouble? As familiar as it was to Ray, it scared Gavin senseless, and that was a big reason why Michael would never ever tell them about what he was doing behind their back, because he didn't want a situation like this. Because he hated how Gavin looked at him right now. Eyes all big and round in something that was wonder but mostly fear. He couldn't even take them off the gun, something so haunted in them that Michael quickly put a pillow over the gun as if that would make it disappear.

"There are bad guys running around Los Santos, you know that," he said carefully.

"The bad guys are those with the guns though."

"Do you think I'm a bad guy?"

Gavin quickly shook his head, and Michael was surprised by how relieved he felt because of it. Some would beg to differ but he didn't do that for them, they didn't matter. All he had to do right now was protect both Ray and Gavin and hopefully grant them a better future.

"The bad guys are around when I get home from work," Michael went on, and that wasn't really a lie, was it? "It's late and I hurry home but they are still there. That's what I need the gun for, to scare them away."

Gavin was still watching him and Michael couldn't really look him in the eye. He felt horrible at that moment and wasn't even sure why. Probably because he had scared Gavin like that but fuck, he was scared himself. It wasn't like he had asked for the gun but it might be useful. Fuck, it might actually save his life one day.

"It's not loaded," he mumbled. "I can't make a mistake then. I can't hurt anyone." If he said that to calm himself or Gavin down, he didn't know but if he just told himself that often enough he might actually believe it.

Shit, it didn't take a genius to figure out why Gavin was staring at him like that. It had been a fucking gun that had brought him here after all and Gavin had only told him bits and pieces of that night. The fact that Gavin not only stayed in this room with him, no, that he actually sneaked closer now meant a lot and Michael barely dared to breathe. It was as if Gavin was a shy animal in that moment and every movement from him might scare him away.

Then Gavin sat down at his side and pushed the pillow down. The boy was shaking from head to toe and Michael wanted to hold him close and calm him down but he still didn't dare to move.

"I don't like guns," Gavin whispered and still he reached out. His fingers brushed against the metal and he flinched back as if he had been burned. There was something so upset in his face that it made Michael's heart ache.

"They're so useless. They are only there to hurt."

"I won't use it to hurt. Promise."

Gavin hesitated but then he nodded slowly. Michael hoped he really did believe him and placed the gun on his bedside table to get it away from them. The cold weight made him sick himself and he didn't like how transfixed Gavin seemed with it. Instead, he pulled the boy into his side and Gavin quickly nestled there, hiding his face in Michael's shoulder.

"I promise," he repeated. "I'll hide the gun real good. I should've done that anyway so that nobody can find it and nobody can use it. I'll just take it with me to scare people off, it won't even be loaded. Does that sound good?"

"Ray will search for the gun..."

"Yeah, but he won't find it. I'll probably hide it somewhere high up where his small ass can't even reach it."

Normally that would at least startle a laugh out of Gavin but not today. Today he lifted his head only as much to catch a glance at the gun again before hiding away.

"Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you in trouble?"

Closing his eyes he pulled Gavin closer, a hand on his head so that he couldn't look up at him.

"Of course not. Everything's okay."

 

* * *

 

 

Michael barely remembered his real home. There were bits and pieces in his head, the scent of his father's cheap cologne and the waft of eggs and bacon. Pictures of dirty laundry on the floor and his mother sitting on the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in front of her while she cried.

There had to be more somewhere in his head, there was no other way. Surely he did have a room or toys and TV shows he watched, but that part remained empty and vast before his inner eye.

He was four years old when he was sent here and he remembered that he had cried and his mother and father had cried. But they didn't have the money for him; they barely managed to get by themselves.

It was for the best, that's what his mother had told him over and over again, and what other choice did he have but believe them?

Now that he was older he figured they were right. Here he at least had a roof over his head and food. He could go to school and was surrounded by other kids. It still wasn't the best neighborhood but safer than back home.

Also, his parents could visit him. They came each birthday and around Christmas and Thanksgiving. They brought him toys and money and new clothes whenever they could and that was fine.

When he was around nine his mother told him that she and his father weren't seeing each other anymore but that it wasn't his fault. How could it be? It wasn't like he was bothering him.

His mother moved away from Los Santos then and Michael could still smell her perfume when he thought back how tight she had held him on that day.

"I'll get you when everything's settled," she had promised. "When I got a nice apartment and make enough money I'll come and get you."

So nowadays he got a call on his birthday and a call on Christmas from her. Each time with the same promise, each time he would agree to be patient.

His father wasn't much better in that case. He also wanted to take him home once things had settled. He had married again, a pretty blonde who seemed nice enough on the outside. Michael didn't like how she looked at him whenever they met. Like he was dirty, a stain that didn't belong in her life.

"Once I get promoted," his father promised, and Michael only nodded.

There was a new golden necklace around the throat of his new wife, a bracelet around her slender wrist with sparkly green gems.

"It's not gonna be much longer," his father had said. A hand on Michael's arm, the other intertwined with his new wife. Their matching golden rings pressed against each other.

At least he visited, right? He had gotten him this cool jacket and that was something. Sometimes his father called and they chatted for a while. He was proud that Michael was already working, but apparently never bothered to think that Michael wasn't even fucking allowed to work yet. Not until he was sixteen, but he figured that was hard to keep track of.

It didn't bother him though, not anymore. He would just have to do it by himself, right? That's what he had done since the beginning anyway so what difference would it make?

Maybe he wouldn't get a great job but he just needed something to stay afloat. To get a roof and clothes and food. Easy as that.

That little plan had formed in his head when he had met Ray, which was funny because he couldn't even remember meeting Ray. Ray had just always been here, which didn't even make sense, after all Ray was younger than him and still it was like Ray just belonged here. Like he was part of the inventory, a piece of furniture that just fitted in this room.

Michael couldn't even tell why Ray had latched onto him or vice versa. Ray was just there, like a shadow creeping behind him and he didn't even have the occasional calls or the Christmas cards. Ray had just this place and Michael figured that Ray also deserved him.

So he had taken Ray under his wing without thinking much about it because nobody else was going to do it. Maybe because that's what Michael had wanted himself, someone, he could look up to and follow. That had been his parents for a long time, but that had changed over time.

And if he didn't have someone to look up to, at least he could have someone that looked up to him, right?

Gavin showed up a couple years later and Michael hadn't paid him much mind. By now he was pretty sure he could categorizing kids that came through this place and he figured Gavin would be gone by the end of the year. He was a cute kid with a nice smile and that's what people around here wanted.

He wouldn't even pay much attention to him if Gavin hadn't been shoved into Ray's room but to his surprise, Gavin returned from each family he went with.

"It's because he has nightmares and sometimes still wets his bed," Ray told him while he was frowning at his homework. "I can hear him at night even though he wants to stay quiet but I don't think he really can. He walks around and cries and all that shit. It's bothersome."

Only that Ray wasn't bothered at all, and over time he brought Gavin along as if they were old friends.

So did Michael really have a choice?

Gavin was shy and careful and looked at Michael as if he wasn't sure if he could trust him. During that time he always held tight to Ray's sleeve and wouldn't go anywhere without him. Ray basked in the attention, in being the bigger and more experienced one this time around. and it was kind of endearing.

The first time Gavin had held tight to Michael's sleeve had been during their way home. With police sirens all around because of some heist by the Fake AH Crew or something. It had been loud and full of chaos and Gavin had held so tight to both him and Ray, that Michael feared he would rip his sleeve right off.

But he had let him hold on and hadn't laughed or made fun of him. No, if that was what Gavin needed then why not give it to him?

Also, he had started to like Gavin. His softer character was refreshing in this world, and so they went from two to three. One more Michael had to take care of, but that wasn't really a problem. He just had to work harder.

That's what he was telling himself as he leaned against the wall around Ray's and Gavin's school the next day. His leg was pulsing and burning but he ignored it. It wasn't like the way had been awfully long, there was really no reason to act up like that. He had even changed the bandage before leaving home but even now as he put his weight on his other foot it hurt like a bitch.

But worrying about that wouldn't help him because he had missed work yesterday and he wouldn't do that again today. Rob had told him to take yesterday off but that was it. So he would get Ray and Gavin from school and walk them home and then fucking suck it up. Not so hard.

"Michael!" Ray called from the gate and ran up to him. His backpack was jumping up and down while doing so and he had to hold tight to it because one of the straps had broken a couple weeks prior. Gavin was hard on his heels and attached himself to Michael's sleeve in a heartbeat.

"I thought you were sick!"

That's what he had told them this morning as an excuse not to go to school. He would push through work today but work and school? Being the whole day on his bad leg? No way.

"Work doesn't wait, you know that."

"Are you feeling better then?"

"Way better," he lied. "Let's get going."

They made their way back and Michael had to concentrate not to hopple. He did a pretty good job as far as he could tell but Ray was still watching him somewhat frowning. Thankfully Gavin pulled on his sleeve to get him to pay attention to him.

"Do you have it with you?" Gavin whispered and Michael's hand went instinctively to the gun hidden beneath his jacket. He hadn't wanted to take it with him but the longer he had waited to finally go today and the more his leg hurt, he had realized that he was scared. He was fucking pissing his pants because he was in an awful situation now.

Not only did he owe Rob and that was bad in itself, but those assholes who had brought him into this situation in the first place probably also hung around now. Yeah, Rob had told him that he could call him in case they showed up again, but that would mean owning Rob even more.

Considering everything the gun seemed like the safest bet.

Now though Gavin's eyes widened as he understood and he pressed his lips together tightly. He tore on the sleeve like he wanted to rip it right off.

"We could hit up a convenience store then!" Ray on his other side burst out and Michael smacked him over the head.

"Shut up! Are you stupid?"

Ray laughed it off but it sounded fake. Like he was joking about it because he didn't know how else to deal with it.

"I don't like it," Gavin muttered.

"None of us do, Gav," Michael told him and maybe a bit too harsh but he couldn't stop it. He hated this situation, he hated that those two had found the fucking gun because he had been so damn stupid. Also, his leg hurt pretty badly.

The two of them kept their mouths shut then and he wanted to kick himself for that. It wasn't their fault, right?

They reached the coffee shop in silence but Gavin didn't let go of him and Ray also made no move to leave him. Instead, they both looked up to him as if he was meant to say or do something. As if he could just go home with them and catch up on homework.

"What?" he snapped at them.

"You'll be careful, right?" Gavin asked, and Michael's defenses fell just like that. Those two were just worried and he didn't want that. He wanted them happy and just be kids, nothing more.

He would love to crouch down and be on eye level with them, but his leg wouldn't let him and he sighed.

"Sorry for scaring you, okay? Everything is alright, it's just a safety measure," he promised and opened his arms. Instantly both Ray and Gavin were hugging him wildly and he couldn't help but smile.

"Nothing will happen to me. Wouldn't want to miss on our mashed potatoes tonight."

Instead of an answer, he was just squeezed tighter and for a moment he could forget about the pain in his leg or his whole situation. That was worth it. If he did it for them, if he at least kept them safe and happy and healthy he could do it.

Those two had a chance and Michael would make sure that they took it.

So he also hugged them back with all his strength and tried not to think about his worn sleeve on one side and the gun at his other. He had this under control.

"You're actually on time today," Rob called and Michael quickly looked up. There was something eerie about the way the older man stood in the shadows of the coffee shop and watched them. Surely he was standing there for a while and had just watched them.

What a creep.

"Hey," Michael just greeted him and put a hand on both Gavin and Ray to keep them right where they belonged.

"And my two favorite boys are also here!" Rob turned to them and Michael hated him at that moment. Unfortunately, it was nearly impossible to avoid those three meetings but he didn't like Rob knowing why he did this job. More than once he had reminded Michael exactly why he needed his money, why he needed him. It was a bargaining chip for Rob and he wouldn't let it go.

"Hey Rob," Ray greeted him while Gavin just gave a shy wave. They didn't move away from Michael's side even when Rob pulled out his wallet and held up a crisp five dollar bill.

"For you guys. Get you guys something nice!"

They didn't move. They wouldn't have moved even if Michael didn't hold on to him like his life depended on it. He had taught them not to talk to anyone. It was too dangerous in this city.

"That's not necessary," Michael just said but Rob waved him off.

"It's fine! You need it more than me anyway!"

What an asshole.

With a huff, Michael took the money anyway because it was easier like that. Handing it to Ray, he squeezed both of their shoulders.

"Get home now. Finish your homework before I get back," he told them and Gavin tore so strong on his jacket that Michael nearly stumbled.

"It's fine," he assured him even though it was hard. Gavin looked at him with such a panicked expression that Michael hesitated.

Maybe it wasn't fine. Maybe none of this was fine and he had to make sure that he got out of here quickly before it was too late. Maybe there was a better way to get some money and look after the two of them.

The moment passed and he forced himself to smile. It at least assured Gavin slightly and the boy let go of him if only because Ray offered his hand instead.

"If you're not home on time we'll have to search for you," Ray told him but his eyes went to Rob. As if it was a threat at all coming from a lanky twelve-year-old.

"Don't be stupid. Get going now."

They threw him another look but he just shushed them away. Rob's eyes followed them as they continued to walk down the street and Michael cleared his throat to keep his attention on him.

"How's your leg doing?" Rob asked as he lead him towards the back of the coffee shop.

"All healed up."

"Well that's a lie if I ever heard one, but I like the spirit." Rob held out the package and Michael quickly took it. He just wanted the other to get away and let him catch his breath for a moment. Now that Rob had reminded him again, he noticed how much his leg was actually hurting.

"Remember to call me if you get into trouble."

"Alright."

Only that he didn't. Not even when two hours into his shift those very same guys stepped into the coffee shop. They were smirking when they approached Michael but he didn't let it get to him. No, he sold them their share and even brought them all a coffee when they asked so nicely.

He had asked Rob for help once. That was more than enough. He would take care of everything else by himself.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Alright, Michael. Do you know where you are right now? Who I'm part of?"
> 
> "The Fake AH Crew."

Chapter 3

 

Michael didn't bother to knock because when he tried the door swung open without any resistance. He couldn't help but sigh, some things just wouldn't get into their thick heads and he made sure that each evening when he was saying goodbye either Ray or Gavin locked the door, but when they had to go to the bathroom in the night they forgot. Probably because they were too tired and just wanted to scurry back into the warm bed.

Still.

Stepping into the room he found both of them still asleep. Ray was on his back, all his limbs stretched out, and somehow Gavin had managed to find enough space to snuggle into his side nonetheless. Even if it meant one of his legs were dangling off the edge and his blanket was piled on the floor.

At least he was asleep because he had looked bad these past days. Not enough sleep and too much worrying and it was Michael's fault.

Ray had told him that Gavin had started to have bad nightmares again, but he didn't sneak into Michael's room in the night. No, he knew that was where the gun was, and the gun was the reason for the nightmares in the first place.

"We're late," Michael said and shook their shoulders. Gavin jumped into a sitting position and would've landed on the floor if Michael hadn't steadied him. God, he didn't like how haunted the other looked.

"It's time to get up," Michael told them and pulled the blanket from Ray. "Come on, if you don't get up in time you guys won't get any breakfast before school."

They ate breakfast on the way to school but that was better than an empty stomach. The two of them were chatting among themselves but Michael barely paid them any mind. His head hurt and he was nearly a bit glad when they reached their school.

"I'll pick you up when you're done," he told them like every day and they waved at him before they disappeared in the sea of kids. Michael tried to keep an eye on them for as long as possible before he turned away and went on.

He didn't go to school anymore, hadn't for more than a week. The one time he had stood in front of it he just couldn't get his feet to move. It would just be too much, he had too much on his plate already.

He felt bad. Not necessarily because of missing school, but just in general. He honestly felt like shit. His leg didn't look good. Sure, he wasn't a doctor but he didn't have to be one to know that much. The skin was still swollen and had a scary, dark red color to it. The wound felt warm when he touched it like he could burn himself on it and he had a fever. He've had a fever since a few days now and it just wouldn't break.

School just didn't have any priority right now.

Sepsis, that's what his quick google search in the library told him. Or cancer because everything was apparently cancer and would kill you in case you bothered to type in your symptoms. He didn't give much to that because he couldn't be sure. He had been fucking cut with a knife, of course, it would hurt for a while. Also, all those great articles said was go to the doctor which still wasn't an option.

There were still the stitches and he would have to take care of them at some point, but he didn't know when or rather how for that matter. His search also didn't help him much with that, mostly because everyone was just pointing him towards a doctor again, and frustrated, Michael gave up.

He lingered around the library for a while longer because it was inside and he didn't know where else to go.  He even went so far to search for jobs, but if the requirements didn't already make him laugh, it would be the prices of a small apartment. Those were downright hysterical and it was easier to ridicule that than also worry about it.

When he turned eighteen he would be thrown out and have to fend for himself. If he couldn't even get a roof over his head what then? He couldn't leave Los Santos because that meant leaving Ray and Gavin behind, and that was impossible. They would be fifteen then and that was hardly an age to take care of themselves.

What a mess.

When it was time to head back to the school he bought a burger from McDonald's for lunch. Ray and Gavin had lunch in school but it would be an awfully long time for Michael until he got his lovely mashed potatoes later.

Gavin was already running his mouth when Michael came to pick them up. Something about a new project and how unfair it was. Michael didn't really listen because his head still hadn't stopped hurting and even though they were walking in the stifling heat of Los Santos he felt kinda cold.

At least Ray agreed with Gavin, and both of them were in an animated discussion about why exactly their teachers sucked. That was a topic they could go on for hours and Michael was glad for that.

"Start the project as soon as possible," he told them, but who was he kidding? That was empty advice that no one in the history of ever followed.

"It's only due next month!"

"So?"

"There's no reason to start it right now!"

"Well, the sooner you start the sooner you finish it, right?"

They had reached the coffee shop and both of them threw him a pretty unimpressed look. Fair enough.

"Get going," Michael just told them and shushed them away. "Get your homework done before I get home."

Both of them groaned but at least didn't protest. He watched over them until he couldn't properly see them anymore and then went around the back.

Rob was already waiting for him, playing on his phone.

"You get better with being on time," he told him absentmindedly.

Well yeah because he wasn't going to school anymore. Not something Rob had to know, so Michael just held out his hand. He wanted this day to be over so that he could lay down. His leg was already hurting like a bitch again.

"Yo, Rob!" Someone else called and instantly Michael grew suspicious. There was never anyone around here during the few moments they made the transaction and he suspected a trap right away. Only that even Rob looked bewildered by the voice and then all the color drained from his face.

Michael didn't recognize the guy that stepped out from in between the other buildings and by God, he surely would. Nobody in their right mind would wear a purple jacket combined with an orange shirt. Like what the fuck.

The cowboy hat didn't help the case either and the only fucking normal thing about the guy was probably the sunglasses. Seriously, Michael surely didn't know shit about colors or clothes but he knew that much.

How that clown scared Rob was a mystery in itself but all in all that was kinda hilarious. At least until new guy threw an arm around Rob's shoulder as if they were old friends. If only to be close enough to press a gun into his side, all without missing a beat.

"Kinda meant to talk to you, Rob. Just some business, you know?"

Rob didn't even get a word out and that was the moment Michael decided to get the fuck out. That wasn't his fight and he wasn't going to get shot for this asshole.

Turning on his heels he wasn't too far from the small pathway he had come from and surely he could get in there before the clown could aim at him. Fuck his leg, it could hurt later. So Michael threw himself around and was out of here before the scene could escalate further.

Only that he ran head first into someone solid the moment he turned the corner and would've eaten shit if a hand hadn't steadied him. A hand that grasped so tightly at his shoulder that it probably could've picked him up no problem.

Looking up at his questionable savior Michael felt his own color drain. He was staring straight up towards the infamous skull mask of the Vagabond and fuck, fuck fu-

The Vagabond just pushed him around, nudging him back towards the other two and Michael just followed, legs like sticks beneath him. It wasn't like he had a choice.

"What do you want with him?" the clown asked.

"Evidence," the Vagabond just said and hearing his voice Michael's knees wanted to buckle. His mind was running in circles, trying to figure out what the fuck was happening.

The Vagabond belonged to the Fake AH Crew. He had nothing to do with them, he wasn't even a tiny fish in their pond, he was a fucking drop or water. Or something like that. Small and insignificant.

This wasn't their area, right? Even if, a tiny drug dealer like him? No use sending the Vagabond after him!

The clown just shrugged and began to pat down Rob, pulling a surprising amount of weapons from him.

To his horror, the Vagabond did the same with him. His knife hit the dirty ground below and then hands found his gun, still hidden beneath his jacket. For a second the other actually stopped, either because he was surprised that Michael had a gun or because he could feel how Michael's heart tried to escape his chest. Whatever it was, Michael didn't dare to turn his head and find out. He didn't even dare to breathe.

The Vagabond slipped the gun from him with a flick of his hand as if he had never done anything else. Then he kinda patted Michael's shoulder awkwardly as if he wanted to calm him down.

If that was really his intention it didn't have the desired effect because Michael nearly collapsed on the spot.

"Well let's get going."

And to his absolute horror, the Vagabond dragged him along. He didn't know why he didn't know what he could possibly do wrong for Ramsey to sent his attack dog out to get him but he was shoved into the backseat of a car and that was it.

A great car with the same atrocious colors he couldn't help but notice. Funny what his brain decided to focus on in a situation like that but seriously? Orange and purple?

It was a bit hysterical and Michael tried hard not to start laughing. That probably wouldn't help his case.

Rob was shoved next to him and off they went. Under other circumstances, Michael would've enjoyed the ride. The car was great and basically flew down the street. Red lights didn't seem to exist in here because they didn't stop for a second. Great.

His eyes flitted to the Vagabond again. From here he could only see the back of his head and the long black hair held together to a ponytail. God, how often had he seen the mask on TV? And now that he dared to take a breath and his brain started to catch on he also started to recognize the clown.

Rimmy Tim, right? Still pretty new to the Fakes but he had made his way to the top quickly.

Fuck, Michael could remember sitting on Ray's bed, laughing with him about that ridiculous name. Now he was trapped in the car with them to... where? An abandoned warehouse or something? A place where no one would care about the two gunshots and the bodies they would leave behind. Or worse, what if the Fakes wanted to know something from him? He had no idea what kind of information he could have but he feared how the Vagabond wanted to make sure that he really didn't have a clue.

Oh God, he wouldn't get out of this, would he? He was going to fucking die today because of some fucking mix up or something. Or because he had sold drugs to someone who wasn't supposed to get them. Whatever it was, he had no clue and maybe he could still get out of it.

Maybe he could talk to them, explain that he didn't know shit. Maybe he should fucking get started pleading for his life.

Only that his mouth wouldn't form words and he didn't think a fucking coherent sentence would come out anyway. Not by the way his heart was beating so hard that it made his wound throb and ring in his ear. Probably trying to catch up on the beats it could've made if he wasn't sitting in this car.

Nearly like an afterthought, he threw a glance towards Rob next to him. Maybe in hope for an explanation or any form of guidance to what the fuck was going on but there was no help there.

Rob stared straight ahead, still pale, still looking as shell shocked as Michael felt.

No, Rob would throw him under the bus the minute he would get the chance and Michael had to prepare himself to do the same. Ray and Gavin were waiting for him at home. His last words to them couldn't be to fucking do their homework.

What would they do without him? Who would look after them? God, Gavin had been so worried already and Ray was way too fascinated with the shady side of the business.

He had to get back to them.

The car didn't park in front of an abandoned warehouse or a dingy underground passage. It actually didn't look that much different than a normal office building and still, once they drove into the underground garage it felt like being in a tomb. The sun left him once they parked and Michael briefly wondered if he would ever see it again.

"Out," the Vagabond grunted, and Michael opened his door. His hand was shaking so hard that he nearly missed, and that was pathetic. He had to pull himself together.

This time it was Rimmy who took a hold on him and Michael noticed that Rob was taken into the complete opposite direction. To separate them and question them?

Turning around, he swallowed heavily.

"What's going on?" he asked and wanted to kick his ass for how scared he sounded.

Rimmy turned towards him and Michael could see his own reflection in his sunglasses. If possible that unnerved him even more.

"With you? Nothing probably," Rimmy told him. "We're just checking in with Rob because of some rumors. You might actually help us with that."

"Are you going to kill me afterward?"

Rimmy huffed. "You're a bit young for that, aren't you?"

That wasn't a no, and if it meant to calm him down it didn't. At least it did sound like they were after Rob and not him, but Rob might as well sell him out here. Somehow. He had no idea what the Fakes would possibly want from him but fuck, if it was between him and Rob he would rather see the other burn.

They rode up in an elevator and even though they were locked in the metal cube Rimmy didn't let go of his arm. Once they stepped out he steered Michael straight ahead into an office. The office was nearly comically big with one side completely made out of glass. Well, at least he got another chance on the sun, right?

Rimmy knocked on the doorframe before pushing Michael completely inside. There was already someone waiting for them, a woman with a red pixie cut who looked up from her lunch. She didn't appear very amused about the disturbance.

"Who's that?" she asked with a nod towards Michael.

"Found him along with Rob."

"That small fry?"

There was a protest in Michael's throat that he quickly swallowed down. Let them believe he was a small fry, thinking about it he surely was.

"You need any better evidence than him?"

"I guess not but couldn't that have waited after lunch?"

"No way, Jack. This guy will shake apart if I wait any longer!"

"Not true!" Michael found himself saying which honestly was pretty dumb. Also he was shaking. A lot.

At least it made the woman smirk before gesturing to the chair in front of her desk and Michael gladly sat down.

"Did you take The Vagabond with you again? You are just going to scare the shit out of everyone you meet."

"But being alone on missions is boring," Rimmy whined and Jack just sighed.

"Go now and be useful somewhere else." She waved him away like a bothersome fly and Rimmy listened. Michael could hear the door close behind him.

Now he was alone with this woman and didn't know what to say. His eyes fell on her half-eaten burrito and for some inane reason the words just tumbled out of his mouth, "Sorry about your lunch."

"Don't worry about this. It's actually my second try on lunch today so I guess the third one's a charm." She wrapped her food up and pushed it aside to face Michael directly.

"Anyway, my name's Jack. What about yours, dear?"

"Michael."

"How old are you, Michael?"

For a moment he nearly answered. Something about this woman had made him relax but he had to play this smart. He had to be so very careful with what he was saying if he wanted to get out of here in one piece.

Jack had to notice his hesitation and folded her hands on the desk. Her nails were a bright red, and suddenly Michael didn't doubt that they had been drenched in blood before. He didn't know who this woman was exactly but there were scars on her hands. Cuts from knives and burns and fights. She didn't get right here because she had a nice smile.

"Alright, Michael. Do you know where you are right now? Who I'm part of?"

"The Fake AH Crew."

"Right. I get why you're worried, after all, we have a certain reputation, but we're not after you," she assured him. "The Fakes have some rules that every member has to follow and one of the most important ones is to not get kids involved. No matter the reason. We heard rumors that Robert doesn't quite follow that rule and he might think that he is too small of a fish for us to notice, but that's his mistake. So you are not in trouble, Michael. Quite the opposite actually."

Michael dared to relax if only slightly. He still had to think about the red nails, the scars on her hands. His eyes darted around the office. She had to be someone very high up in the crew to have a place like this.

"Let me ask you again and I'd prefer you would speak the truth. How old are you, Michael?"

"I'm fifteen, Ma'am."

"Now I'd say that's way too young to sell drugs. Actually, that's even too young to work in that coffee shop."

"I'm turning sixteen soon!"

She huffed as if that was a joke, but Michael didn't dare to talk back. A phone vibrated on the table and she threw a quick glance at it, frowning.

"Robert made you sell drugs for him in that shop and not only that but you were armed? With a gun nonetheless?"

Ah right. Not a good first impression probably.

"How the fuck does a kid like you get a gun. Did Rob give it to you?"

And again he didn't know what to answer. It was easy, right? Just throw Rob under the bus and be out of here. If they'd even bother with letting him go and not just get rid of him.

Jack looked up then, straight at him and Michael knew he couldn't lie to her. No way, she would know it before he did. She was playing that game way too long.

"He did." It came out in a whisper and his hands wrapped around themselves. They were still shaking and sweaty. "He gave it to me to protect myself."

"Because you got into trouble on the job?"

This time he just nodded. He couldn't look her in the eyes and now he felt sick. Like he had to throw up right on the spot. That surely wouldn't help with her lunch problem.

"Well, Michael I don't think you have to worry about that anymore," Jack said and took her phone to type a quick message.

"Are you... are you going to kill Rob?"

She stopped with her fingers hovering over the screen as she thought about that before shaking her head. "I don't really make that kind of decision, but I could bet that we won't. Sometimes Geoff is too soft on that matter." She sent whatever message she had typed out and put the phone back down. "Robert is right now having a little chat with Ramsey. If he's not stupid he should get out with a scolding. He will get sent to another part of the city though so he won’t bother you anymore."

Jesus Christ, Rob had an actual talk with Ramsey. The Ramsey, the leader of the Fakes. Rob was probably crapping his pants right about now.

"Michael, you're too young to have anything to do with drugs. Even if it's just selling them, and I hope to God that you didn't also take them." She threw him a searching glance and he figured he didn't look too good with his fever and his shaking.

"As if I could afford drugs," he managed to reply, and somehow that was the right answer. She chuckled and for the first time since what felt like an eternity, he dared to take a real breath. Something that calmed his heart down because he didn't believe he was going to die here. No, Jack held no ill will against him.

"That's at least good to hear. Glad you're not an idiot, Michael."

"Well, I try."

"Anyway, like I said Robert won't bother you anymore and you won't have to work at the coffee shop."

He froze in his seat and all the anxiety slammed back into him.

"What..?"

"You should appreciate your childhood more. The time when you have to work will come soon enough, so you should focus on-"

"No, wait," he interrupted her and then wanted to kick his own ass for that. Fucking rude and he didn't think this woman liked rude behavior. Quite the opposite, she usually punished it but right now that didn't register. He couldn't lose his job, he got lucky enough to get it in the first place. Not only had they just believed him when he lied about his age, but it was also so damn convenient. It was on his way from school and not too far away from the orphanage. He could take Ray and Gavin with him and rest assured that they made the rest of the way back safely. It wasn't like he had the means to just take a cab or the bus through the city to make minimum wage!

"Please, I really need the money."

She threw him a condescending look, a look he had seen way too often and that infuriated him. He wasn't a small kid anymore, he couldn't be a kid anymore. Looks like that just made it harder for him.

"I'm sure whatever games or phone you are saving up to, they are not as important as you think they are. Give it a few years and you will understand what I mean."

"No, you don't understand!" He shouldn't back talk her. He really should hold his damn mouth and figure things out by himself. That's what he had always done anyway and right now the most important thing was to get out of here alive. Still, he couldn't get over the look and the panic in his throat. If he lost not only the income from Rob but also his job... what then?

"I really do need the money. I need this job."

"Michael, I'm sure that the-"

"Those are the only jeans I have," he blurted out. His hands had wrapped around the armrests of his chair and he was holding so tight that his knuckles turned white. It hurt a little or his words did, he wasn't sure. It was embarrassing to admit.

"I ruined the other pair recently so I need the money because it's fucking hard to deal with just one pair of pants, alright? It wouldn't be that big of a problem but I just bought Ray a new jacket recently and now I don't have the fucking money for a fucking second pair of pants. I'd have more if we hadn't gotten the ice cream but I didn't expect it to be so expensive, alright? Also, I fucking promised them some ice cream and you know what? We fucking deserved it. We fucking deserved that damn ice cream for once because the day had been nice!"

He huffed agitated. "I'm trying to save money, alright? I'm getting lunch from the damn dollar menu each day because I just get so damn hungry. I tried to save that as well but I fucking can't. I can't get through the damn day until I get some fucking mashed potatoes that taste like nothing. So no, I don't need money for some new games or a new phone because I never had one of those things, to begin with. I need the money because there are two boys who are depending on me and we want to fucking stay alive."

His hands were still holding tight and he realized he was just watching them, not daring to look up. Mostly because he was embarrassed. He was embarrassed that he was begging to make a living and he was embarrassed by how bad their situation was. He had really tried to do better but he just couldn't get it right.

Now it grew silent in the office, and he forced himself to look up. If she wanted him to beg than fuck it, he would do it. It wasn't like he had much of a choice.

But Jack was just watching him and he was surprised that he didn't find amusement or even pity in her eyes. She was intrigued if at all and there was something very warm there, nearly comforting. That was something he hadn't expected, not from a woman of her position but it was there and so foreign, that he didn't know how to react to it.

"Where are your parents, Michael?" she asked after a while and that was so funny that he actually laughed.

"They don't give a fuck."

Again no pity, just a short nod. Her painted nails tapped on her phone as she turned away to look out of the window. With some hesitation, Michael followed her gaze and for the first time noticed how breathtaking the view was. No other house was disturbing the view besides the Maze Bank and he could look up to the mountains. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so far up.

One time he had wanted to take Ray and Gavin to the Maze Bank and drive all the way to the top. Unfortunately, the ride was ten dollars per person and that was just a distant dream. God, he just wanted to show them the world.

Jack was still watching him and didn't dare to catch her gaze. It had to be damn funny from her point of view, someone who had it all. A nice office and clothes and a phone. And in front of her sat a kid with nothing that was begging to work in a shady coffee shop.

Fucking hysterical.

She waved then, he could see it in the corner of his eyes but before he could react the door behind him opened again. It was Rimmy who stepped in again and right, Michael was just bothering her. If she was just going to throw him out that was fine. He would somehow make it and he was already getting up when Jack spoke again, "Take him to the infirmary, Jeremy. I don't know what's fucked up with his leg but make sure it's getting taken care of."

Now Michael stared at her. How had she noticed? When he had come in or right now when he had pulled a face once he had to put any weight on it?

"I'm fine," he snapped at her but Jack just shook her head.

"Being proud is one thing, Michael. Don't be stupid on top of it."

"But-"

"Come on." Rimmy touched his arm. No, what had she called him? Jeremy? That was at least a better name then Rimmy.

For a moment Michael still wanted to protest but then he gave in. Maybe she was right, maybe he could welcome this with open arms but he didn't want to be in the debts of the most notorious crew in the city.

But for them he was still a kid, right? So they wouldn't mess with him, after all, they wanted him out, that was what this whole thing was about. Why didn't he trust them then?

Still, he followed Jeremy out of the office without another glance towards Jack. He didn't know how to react to her and she probably also didn't care. She was just happy to have him out of her hair and get back to her lunch.

"It's not far. This way," Jeremy said. He had his sunglasses pushed into his hair, and with the stupid hat gone, Michael noticed that he wasn't much older than him. Really, maybe a couple of years, but Michael was nearly taller than him.

"I thought the Fakes don't do business with kids."

"Well, they don't. Believe it or not, I'm old enough, just got into this job too young. That's kinda what they want to stop from happening in this city."

Michael just huffed because he wouldn't believe that. Sure, the big bad crew who sold drugs and made their foes disappear on a whim cared about the children of the future. That sounded reasonable.

"Well didn't get you far, did it? Still taking orders from a woman," Michael snapped and he wasn't even sure why. Jeremy could still break him in half by the looks of it and there wasn't really any reason for him not to. If he got to the infirmary with a few more bruises surely nobody would ask questions.

Jeremy on the other hand only laughed.

"You have no idea who you just talked to, do you?"

He didn't but he didn't want to admit that. So he followed quietly and went through the door Jeremy was holding open for him.

When Jack had said something about an infirmary he had expected a small room where you got bandaids and some Aspirin like in school. Here though he stepped into something that actually resembled the hospitals he'd seen in movies.

"Jo, Steffie," Jeremy called across the room and then Michael was pushed to yet another person. What the fuck even was this day? As if all of that wasn't bad enough he soon found himself sitting on a bed in just his boxers as two different people were checking out his leg.

"That would've ended up really bad," the guy told him. He was tall and lanky and way too fascinated with Michael's cut. He kept on prodding at it and Michael was pretty sure that wasn't necessary.

"Would've healed," Michael just said and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Not really. Would've given you sepsis though."

"Look at that, Google was actually right about that then." He snickered to himself as the two doctors watched him a bit horrified. His laugh got stuck in his throat though when the door opened and Jack walked in.

He hadn't noticed it before with her sitting down but she was a very tall woman. A very beautiful woman as well and imposing and some other words he couldn't think off the top of his head. Probably because of the needle in his leg and not because he was fifteen and sitting in front of a woman in his underwear. Yeah.

"Well that doesn't look good," she just commented with a glance to his leg but nothing more. Still no pity, just stating a fact. "Is he about done?"

"Just a minute." Lanky guy threw him a pill bottle. "Take two of them each day. One in the morning and one in the evening until they're empty. That should get rid of the infection. Got it?"

For all his big talk right now Michael just nodded and watched how the doctors left the two of them alone. When the door closed Jack turned back to him. "I have an offer for you."

She held up a black card and it took Michael a moment until he realized it was a credit card. To his immense horror, Jack held it out for him to take.

"Five thousand Dollars," she just said as if that made any sense and Michael just stared at her, dumbfounded. It made her laugh.

"Where's your big mouth now, Michael? Should I give you a moment to pull your pants back up?"

Right. He quickly did so and took a deep breath to calm his heart down. Or his hormones, it was a bit hard to tell right now. Clearing his throat he hoped his face wasn't as red as it felt like or at least that Jack believed it was his fever. "What were you saying?"

"I said five thousand dollars," she repeated and waved the card in front of him.

"Is this a joke?"

"No, an offer just like I said. You have to learn to listen." There was no name on the card, it was just plain black with the Maze Bank logo at the top. Michael had never seen a card like that.

"This comes with some conditions though."

"You are not giving me this," Michael said and amused she chuckled.

"What did I tell you about being proud and being stupid?"

He shook his head. "No, that's not it. The world just doesn't work like this. The world isn't fair, not for people like me. We don't get lucky."

For the first time, Jack's face softened, and suddenly Michael believed her. He believed she was willing to give him the money, for whatever reason. Maybe she was insane like that.

She took his hand in hers, turning it around and pressing the card into his palms.

"I can see whatever you buy with this," she explained to him. "And if I don't like what I see I'll shut it down and you'll have nothing again. Otherwise, the money on there is yours."

He stared at the black card, his thumb feeling the raised logo in the corner. It looked real to him but what did he know?

"This isn't you being lucky, Michael or the world being fair. I agree that those aren't things you can count on. This is a chance, Michael."

"I can't pay this back to yo-"

"I don't expect you to."

"What do you expect then? That I come and work for you guys when I'm old enough?"

That made her laugh again and he started to like the sound.

"Quite the opposite actually. I want you far away from the kind of business we're doing."

He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know how to react. There was an iron grip around his heart and he wasn't sure if it was squeezing tighter or easing up. Even if he tried he didn't think he would get a single word out.

The card was in his hand, a simple piece of plastic which might just change his life. Which might give him a chance. Right now at this moment five thousand dollars sounded like a million, sounded like the world was at his feet.

Jack's hand laid heavy on his shoulder and he looked up to her, pressing the card against his chest. What if that had been a cruel joke? What if she wanted the card back before kicking him out? Something to laugh at on long days.

"Come on," she said instead and urged him to get up from the bed. "I'll make sure you'll get home. I bet this was quite an exciting day for you."

  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He handed the jeans over and then the credit card as well. She took it, throwing a confused look onto the blank card and then back to him.
> 
> "It's mine," Michael blurted out, and Jesus Christ, he could never become a criminal.

Chapter 4

 

The corner of the credit card dug into the palm of his hand but Michael didn't dare to let go. What if he dropped it or someone tried to steal it from him? Jack had called this a chance and that was fair and all but that didn't mean the chance couldn't get taken away from him just as easily.

By now he hadn't talked to anyone about the card or where he had gotten it from. Once he had returned home that day he had locked himself in his room and had stared at the little plastic rectangle for hours. It could be a trick or just empty words coming from Jack, but he didn't think so. He wanted to believe her.

So here he was now, in a small clothing store with a pair of jeans in his hands. They were twenty bucks, which he had in cash in case the card wouldn't work. Like this, the clerks hopefully wouldn't call the cops on him.

Walking up to the cash register he was still worried though. It was a shop he had never been to before because he feared someone would get suspicious that he would just show up with a credit card but that didn't mean it wouldn't happen here as well. A fifteen-year-old with a credit card wasn't really the norm around this part of the city and he also didn't look the part. Also he was sweating. He could feel it and see it on the credit card and he quickly wiped it on his sleeve.

"Good morning," the lady behind the counter greeted him and he nodded, not trusting his voice.

"Is this all?"

"Yeah." He handed the jeans over and then the credit card as well. She took it, throwing a confused look onto the blank card and then back to him.

"It's mine," Michael blurted out, and Jesus Christ, he could never become a criminal.

"I never saw one like this."

"Me neither, so I'm actually not sure how it works, so..." He trailed off and stopped himself from babbling on. Some stupid story of how he had gotten it from his aunt or whatever. Nothing that would help him.

The lady threw another look towards him and then to the jeans on the counter. With a shrug, she pulled the card through the scanner and hummed at the peep that followed.

"Well, it looks like it's working just fine."

"That's... that's good." He snatched the card from her hand as she held it out to him and pressed it against his chest. Even through his jacket he felt his heartbeat.

"Here's your jeans."

"Thank you." With the bag in his hands, he exited the store and walked straight to the next bench to sit down. He wasn't sure if his legs could carry him just a single step further.

In his hand was still the credit card and the bag with the pair of jeans. Jeans he had just bought and that were definitely real. And in his pocket? In his pocket were still the twenty dollars he had brought just to be sure.

"Holy shit," he whispered. Holy shit, that had actually worked. Why did he feel like he had stolen those jeans? He hadn't was the thing! He hadn't and the store was paid and he had done nothing wrong. No, everything was alright and in utter disbelief, he looked down at the credit card.

So if Jack was right, this was five thousand dollars. Five thousand!

That was so much more than he had ever had that he couldn't even imagine the money or what he could do with it. A lot was the answer. It felt like he could take over the world with this money.

Taking a deep breath, Michael made sure to hide the credit card securely before leaning back. The sun was shining but it wasn't as hot yet. It was actually kinda nice like this, and for a while, he closed the eyes and just enjoyed it.

Then he started making plans.

Fine, that was a fuck ton of money, alright. But even that much would run out at some point if he didn't watch out. He had to be smart about this.

First of he would note it all down, what he had spent and stuff. Like it wasn't even five thousand anymore, it was four thousand nine hundred eighty. Still a lot, but he had to keep his spending in check.

The jeans were fine, he really needed them and thinking about it they could all do with some new clothes and shoes that wouldn't be worn down by the end of the year. Maybe a phone? Nothing expensive, but just so that they all could call each other.

Yeah, that was a good enough start, but what about the future? Whether he wanted to believe it or not, the money wouldn't last him forever. Once he turned eighteen he would have to find an apartment and pay for that. This money could literally save his life then.

He would have to start working after school again just so he wouldn't run out of money at some point. But that could wait until he was sixteen, right? Until he could officially get a job without having to lie and hide. That could mean he would be better paid.

It also meant he could go back to school. That sent a spark through him and he couldn't tell if it was fear or excitement. He had fallen behind with his school work, far behind. There had been no time for homework and those past two weeks he hadn't even shown up.

But for the first time, he dared to believe he even had a little bit of a chance. Not college of course but graduating from a high school was a start. It would be better than nothing at all and it would be a good example for Ray and Gavin.

All because of this little plastic card.

He could cry. He could honest to God cry right then and there, and that was something he hadn't done in... he couldn't even remember. The worst thing was that he hadn't even thanked Jack. He had been too stunned by the whole situation to truly grasp it. Also, he still believed it all to be a cruel joke. Now he regretted it, but he didn't think she minded it too much. No, he was pretty sure she had figured him out.

Opening his eyes again, the sun was still shining, and he smiled at that.

 

He picked Ray and Gavin up and listened to their daily banter. At first, they didn't notice as he lead them down another street than usually but at some point, Ray frowned.

"Where are we going?"

"Getting some food."

"But Michael," Gavin said and pulled on his sleeve, "don't you have to go to work?"

"Not anymore. They kinda figured out I'm not old enough yet." A small lie, but Gavin still looked alarmed.

"But then we have to save the money, Michael! We-"

"Nah, it's all good. Because I worked so hard they gave me some extra money, so we're set for now." Now that was a bigger lie, but he couldn't think of another way to explain their sudden money.

"So you'll have more time now?" Ray asked eagerly and when Michael nodded, the boy beamed up at him.

"Like before? We can do homework together and then do something fun, right?"

"Sounds good to me."

Ray cheered and on his other side, Gavin hugged his arm closer. Michael basked in it and a part of him wanted to pull both of them into an embrace. They were still too close to the school for that and Ray and Gavin would find it awkward, but maybe later. Now he just let them into a small bistro that they had to pass by when they went to the store but had never gone inside.

Michael had heard his classmates talk about this place though and how good the pizzas and milkshakes were. Granted they usually went here on dates and not with two kids, but that didn't matter. It wasn't mashed potatoes and that meant something.

They ordered pizza, each of them a different one to try them out and Michael insistent on milkshakes as well.

Yes, he had to be reasonable with the money and yes he was well aware that this right here wasn't needed. But fuck, they deserved this!

While they waited for their food Michael reached over the table to touch Gavin's hand.

"The thing you're worried about is gone," he told him and it took Gavin a second to get it. Then his face lit up and he visibly relaxed. Good, that suited him more.

"Really?"

"I don't need it anymore, right? I don't have to walk home through scary dark streets."

Gavin bolted from his chair and straight into his arms with such force that it nearly took his breath away. Instead he laughed even when some guests turned towards them.

"I'm so glad," Gavin whimpered and he rubbed his back.

"Sorry for making you worry, Gavvers."

The boy just nodded and squeezed him so tightly that Michael actually had trouble breathing. Still, that was well worth it because he had seen how the knowledge of the gun had worn on Gavin in those past days.

Even Ray watched them now, pleased with their antics. This was good. This was fine.

Michael ruffled through Gavin's hair. "Come on, sit back down and enjoy your lunch."

 

"Well look who dares to show back up again."

Michael pulled a face as he entered the office. His teacher sat there, watching him with something like amusement.

"I didn't think I'd see you again, Jones."

"Sorry Mister Barney," he mumbled and sat down when the man pointed to the chair in front of the desk.

This was another obstacle, but hopefully the last. If Michael wanted to fix the shit he had done this right here was important. He had to catch up on school and that wouldn't work without help. Maybe if he hadn't missed those past two weeks in school but if he was honest it wasn't like he had paid much attention before. He had usually been too tired and there were other things on his mind. Also there had been barely any time to do his homework, which also worked against him.

Now sitting in front of his teacher he was well aware of that and each time he couldn't have shut his big mouth or hadn't paid attention.

"So what can I do for you today?"

"I'm searching for a way to catch up on school work," Michael blurted out. It was the sentence he had repeated in his head over and over again and now it just came out in a flush of words. His cheeks colored in embarrassment.

"Is that so? I can't pretend I'm not surprised. You didn't seem to care much about school before."

Taking a deep breath, Michael knew he should look Mister Barney in the eyes but he just couldn't. It was true and he also knew that it had been wrong but he hadn't had the strength to change it back then. Now he could though and he would, he had promised it to himself.

"A lot of things were happening," he said and watched how his knees rubbed against each other. Just a few days prior it would've sent a jab of pain through his cut, but not anymore. Whatever the Fakes had done it was clearly working.

"So many things that you couldn't be bothered to even come to school?"

Again Michael couldn't help but pull a face. "I had to take care of... things."

"Those damn mysterious things," Mister Barney said. He leaned back in his chair to watch him. On his nose sat a pair of ridiculous small glasses and Michael couldn't even remember how often he had made fun of them. Now as the eyes watched him through them it was kinda intimidating. "Might those things be of a criminal nature?"

"Well..." His heart was beating hard in his chest. Should he lie? Somehow he thought the other would be able to tell, he certainly wasn't the first student in a shitty situation like this. Not in this neighborhood, not in this city. Mister Barney could probably smell them by now.

"Rather the opposite?" he mumbled.

"The opposite? You were busy with donating and community work? That's quite respectable from you, Jones."

Michael couldn't help but huff. "Of course not. I was rather trying... to get out of shady business, you know?"

Mister Barney lifted his eyebrows but kept quiet. That was unnerving in its own way and Michael would love to make a joke, to break the silence or at least look away but he knew he shouldn't. This was yet another test and he was growing tired of it. Why did people always test him? Couldn't they just believe him?

"So I take it you were successful with your... goal?"

"I don't have to go to work after school anymore," he began. "That means I actually have time for my homework and projects. That also means I can go to bed at a more reasonable time and won't be as tired anymore. I... I really want to do this, Mister Barney."

"Where does this change of mind come from?"

"I realized that doing well here is my only chance to have a future. I can't count on anyone else and I don't want to sit on the street once I turn eighteen."

That was it. Usually Michael didn't like to pull out his sob story but he saw how it softened Mister Barney's gaze.

His teacher leaned forward, his arms on his desk.

"I know that you're coming from a difficult background, Michael and I also know how easy it is to slip from that into some shady business. I'm gonna be honest, I figured you were already a lost cause when you stopped showing up, but if you're serious about this it might be your last chance to turn it around."

"I understand, sir."

"When you didn't show up I called your orphanage. Just to make sure you were still alive."

"I- I didn't know about that."

"Nobody told you?"

Michael shook his head, but while Mister Barney was obviously surprised, he wasn't at all. The call alone had already bothered the staff, and doing anything about would have bothered them more.

"I see... Well, that's unfortunate. I did hear about the two boys you keep on bringing to school and looking after."

And now Michael grew defensive. Sure it was a pretty well-known fact around here because they were always together but he didn't like talking about it or people looking at them. They usually didn't when he got a bit threatening, but that wouldn't help his cause right here.

"What about them?"

"You seem to put a lot of energy into them even though they aren't blood-related to you. That's hardly your responsibility."

"So what?" Michael snapped at him. "They also have no one out there and nobody from the orphanage truly gives a shit. If nobody else will do a thing about that then I have to."

Mister Barney watched him, this time over the rim of his glasses, and that wasn't as intimidating anymore. Also, Michael wouldn't take his shit, not about that.

"That's quite admirable, Michael," he just ended up saying and if he expected a reaction to that he wouldn't get one. This was nobody's business but his.

"This won't be easy but if you want to catch up I will provide you with what you need."

Michael's shoulders lowered in relieve. "Really?"

"That's what you wanted. I will have to give you some side projects as well because you will need the extra credit but we can discuss that to a later time. It will be more than enough to get through the first load."

"I can do it. I'm not stupid," Michael told him.

"Nobody said you were. So, let's see where we should start."

 

And so Michael's day to day schedule changed. He would get up to wake the other two and after breakfast they would head to school. He would drop them off there and then go to his own school. It was hard to follow some of the lectures, but he tried. With others he was surprised how easy it actually was now that he actually focused on the topic.

He made notes. Gavin and Ray had bought him a new notebook especially for that. It was blue with a golden lining and he hadn't asked how much it had cost, but it didn't feel super cheap. But they had insisted on it once they heard about his new determination and he had been too happy about their support to protest much.

Once school was over he and the other two went straight home. No detour, no work, just home. After dinner they'd sit down together to do their homework and once Gavin and Ray were done, Michael would retreat to his own room and learn.

Sometimes he looked out of his window and watched the other kids play outside and he wanted nothing more than to join. That wasn't part of the agreement though, and so he continued to work through the list Mister Barney had given him.

At least he was making some progress, but after that the other projects would start. It certainly was an uphill battle but he was ready to try his best.

On the weekend he would take the two of them to the library and kept an eye on them while they checked out the extensive comic book section. It gave Michael the time to use the computers for his work. There was one in the orphanage, but that thing hadn't worked for months now and even if it was fixed any time soon, it was just too old to really be of use.

Once he was done he'd treat them to something. If it was ice cream or, rarer, a nice lunch.

"Michael will become a teacher one day," Gavin told him wisely on their way back home from school.

"I don't think so."

"I think you would be a great teacher," Gavin insistent. "You are all smart now."

"Well, that's debatable." But it was nice to hear and he reached down to ruffle Gavin's hair. Once Ray saw that he also walked closer.

"Teacher is too boring. Michael will become an astronaut!"

"That's even more unrealistic than a teacher." Laughing he also tousled Ray's hair until the boy stepped away again.

"I want to become an astronaut," Gavin said now, nodding to himself.

"Since when?"

"Right now. I thought about it really hard!"

"You're full of shit."

Both of them started to bicker and Michael let them. He felt exhausted, but for once it was mentally. He was starting to catch up to their current topics but some things just wouldn't make sense to him. It wasn't his intention to ask for more help from teachers, but with some subjects he wouldn't be able to avoid it. Another week. He would give himself another week to hopefully grasp it.

Someone seized his arm and threw him into the wall, hard enough that he lost the air out of his lungs. Before he could say or do a thing one hand took hold on his collar while the other pressed into his belly. Only that it wasn't the hand, the hand was holding something solid and he didn't know if it was a knife or worse, a gun.

Finally he could turn his head and paled when he recognized Rob.

"Long time no see," Rob greeted him and Michael's eyes darted away from him and back to the other two, just in time for Ray to step up.

"Hey!" he shouted and looked up at Rob. "What's your deal?"

"Ray," Michael warned him, but now Rob had turned towards the boy.

"Just saying hello to my old friend, what else?"

Ray threw a look to Michael, unsure about the situation while Gavin stood a step behind him, pale as a sheet.

"What do you want?" Michael asked, hoping it would pull Rob's attention back to him but it didn't work.

"Did you guys know that your dear Michael threw me under the bus big time?" Rob continued. "Was a real asshole move and nearly cost me my job. Actually I have to fucking start all over again because my damn customers won't walk straight through the city just to see my nice smile."

"I didn't throw you under the b-" Michael stopped himself when Rob pressed his weapon more insistently against him. Still-

"Leave them out of this. If you want to talk, we can talk but this is hardly the right time nor place."

"Oh, you're right, Michael. We should get into a fancy restaurant and talk over dinner like civilized people." Rob sneered at him. "What a fantastic idea!"

"Rob," Michael pleaded. He could feel the eyes of Ray and Gavin on him, the nervous energy coming from them and he was scared they would do something stupid, that Rob would turn towards them instead.

Thankfully Rob was now focused on him and him alone. Leaning ahead Michael could feel his breath against his ear as he whispered, "If you want them gone then tell them to. I don't give a fuck if they see you piss your pants or not."

Fuck-

"Ray, take Gavin and go home," he ordered.

"No!"

"That wasn't a fucking question!"

But Ray just frowned up to him, body tight like he was ready to jump into whatever action, so Michael shifted his attention.

"Gavin." The boy jumped at being addressed directly. He stared at Michael with wide eyes and shifting restlessly but made no move to take Ray's hand and drag him away. No, those damn loyal fools didn't even think about it and Michael wanted to snarl and yell at them. This wasn't their place to be, they had to get away and he didn't want them to see. He didn't want them to see whatever Rob had planned for him and he didn't want them to know that anything was not working right.

Things had been okay for the past weeks and that was good, that was how it was supposed to be!

And then Ray charged at Rob.

Michael's heart nearly stopped as he saw him move but before he could even call out for him, Ray already crashed into Rob. It didn't have much effect, not with how little mass Ray had and Rob nearly looked amused by it. At least until Ray plunged his teeth into his bare arm, hard enough to penetrate flesh.

"Motherfucker!"

Rob hit Ray's head once, then a second time and when the boy groaned he backhanded him so hard, that Ray hit the floor. That was the moment in which Michael saw red.

He launched himself at Rob, pushing him back to get him away from Ray. He was stronger than Ray and actually made the other stumble but in the next second, Rob crashed the hilt of his knife against Michael's temple.

Everything went dark for a heartbeat and then he was on the dirty floor. Someone was screeching his name - Gavin? - but there were a pair of boots right in front of him and he couldn't see much besides that.

One of the boots lifted and Michael quickly brought his arms up to protect his head. Instead the boot stomped down on his leg, right on top of his cut and pain shot up his spine. It was blinding hot, a searing heat that raced through his whole body and he was pretty sure he was screaming.

"Stop! Stop, please!"

Gavin again.

Michael should get up or at least tell them to get away, to run but he couldn't. It was like his body was frozen and he couldn't even get his arms to lower to see something. Even his eyes stayed close and he couldn't breathe. But the other two-

The boot dug into his cut and oh God, he would black out. He would black out or throw up or really piss his pants.

"Check on your phone," Rob said from above before he let up. Michael could hear the steps retreat but he still didn't dare lower his arms. If he did he would have to face what had happened, he would have to check on his leg, and it hurt like a bitch. Fuck, it really hurt-

"Michael?"

Hands on his shoulder and he took a deep breath before letting his arms sink.

Gavin sat in front of him, tears in his big eyes and pale as a sheet. Behind him Ray was back on his feet but not turned towards them. No, he was staring intently across the street, probably watching Rob to make sure he was gone.

"When I tell you to go away you have to listen!" Michael snapped at them. It was harsh and maybe a bit unfair and Gavin jumped at his tone, but he couldn't help himself. He was embarrassed and in pain and scared. Scared because it wasn't fucking over.

"Oh fuck off!" Ray hissed at him. He was shaking, his hands balled tightly to fists.

Shit, what a mess.

Michael tried to sit up but the moment the movement reached his leg he had to stop. Looking down he at least couldn't see any blood but fuck, it did feel like the cut had reopened.

Gavin's arms wrapped around his, trying to help him up and so he forced himself to go on, to push through. Fuck, it hurt! But Gavin was still looking at him, face blank in shock, and so Michael did stand.

"I'm fine," he assured the boy but Gavin didn't believe him. He was pressed tightly into his side, either to steady him or for a little comfort. Michael was fine with either and wrapped an arm around him.

"You're bleeding," Gavin whispered and again Michael's eyes darted to his leg. It was throbbing and he didn't quite dare to put his weight on it but it didn't bleed. Then he remembered the hit against his head and reached up. Against the hot pain in his leg his temple was more an afterthought but his fingers came back wet.

"I'm fine," he repeated because he had to be. It wasn't a lot of blood so it couldn't be bad, right? Just a scratch.

In front of him Ray finally turned around and Michael noticed that there was already a bruise forming on his cheek. He reached out, wanted to take a look at it when he noticed the tears that Ray so desperately tried to hide.

Oh, the boy was angry yes but most of all he was twelve and scared and in pain.

"Come here."

Ray crossed the distance in a heartbeat and wrapped his arms around Michael's middle. A choked sob came from him and Michael pressed him closer against him. Gavin's hand joined his on Ray's heaving back and Michael hated this. He hated that they had seen this, that Ray was hurt and Gavin scared, and that wasn't right. That wasn't fucking right because he did this so they didn't have to experience things like this. He had to protect them!

"I'm sorry," he whispered and had to fight not to cry himself. He felt like shit at that moment.

"Can we go home now?" Gavin asked and Michael nodded. That sounded like a good idea.

 

Michael had found some ice in the freezer and had wrapped it in a towel. Now he handed it over to Ray who sat on the free bed in Michael's room.

"Here. Press that against your cheek."

"Okay." Ray's voice was quiet and he still sniffed occasionally, but all in all he had caught himself on the way home. He had been very rattled by the encounter and now his leg was bouncing uncontrollably.

"Good boy," Michael muttered and stroked down his back.

Next he headed back to the bathroom and took a look in the mirror. As he cleaned up the dried blood on his face he took a shivering breath. The wound on his temple was really just a scratch, so that was at least something. His leg still felt hot but he hadn't yet dared to check on it.

In a bit, first he went to get a band-aid but found Gavin already behind him, holding on up.

"Thanks." He tried to take it but the boy wouldn't let him.

"I want to help... please."

"Alright."

He closed his eyes while Gavin put the band-aid on him and then looked back up.

"Looks good. Kinda like a badass, right?"

His attempt to lighten the mood fell short and Gavin just politely smiled back. Fine, if Michael was honest he also wasn't in the mood for jokes.

The two of them headed back to his room where Ray was waiting for them. The towel still pressed to his cheek dripped onto the blanket beneath him. Gavin sat down beside him and suddenly Michael felt like he was standing in front of a jury. With anyone else Michael would become defensive and mean, but right now he couldn't. Firstly he was just too tired, and also they deserved an answer. He just had to come up with one.

"Rob won't hurt you," he assured them, but that didn't help. Their faces were still stern and their eyes always on him.

"What about you? Will Rob hurt you?"

That was an awful question, and he was scared because he wasn't sure what the answer to that was. Rob was dangerous, he knew that and he had still worked for him because he needed the money. Once the Fakes had stepped in he figured it was over for both of them, no need to talk about it. Rob had fucked up and Michael was left to do his own thing.

Apparently Rob saw that differently.

Now that Michael took the second to think about it he might understand where Rob was coming from. For him it might actually look like Michael had sold him out to get out of trouble but that wasn't the case. He hadn't even thought about that, fuck, he hadn't even known that Rob was working with the Fakes! Fine, nearly everyone in this damn city did but still!

"It's a misunderstanding," he told them and sat down on his own bed. "He thinks I threw him under the bus, but it wasn't me."

"Who then?"

Michael shrugged. He had no clue who else Rob was working with. Of course there were other boys around who sold his shit, but he didn't know them. Each of them had a reason to sell Rob out, but Michael had been unfortunate enough to be at the wrong place at the right time.

"Why would your boss want to fuck you up?" Ray asked, and Michael didn't like it when he looked at him like that. His eyes all sharp which made him appear so much older, but it was harder to fool Ray in things like that. Not after how long Ray was already in the system, not by how many kids he had seen disappear into the black maw that was Los Santos' underworld, knowing that was also his future, at least until Michael had come around to stop it.

"Because I was too young to work for him and Rob's boss found out about that, so he got in trouble." That was as close to the truth as Michael dared to get but it seemed to do the trick. Ray relaxed a little.

"But you weren't the one who told Rob's boss?" Gavin asked.

"Of course not. The job helped us a lot and I would've kept it."

"You should tell Rob that."

"Are you stupid, Gav? Rob is out for trouble and he will hurt Michael again!" Ray snapped at him.

"Bu-"

"This isn't kindergarten anymore! Rob wouldn't listen to him before and he won't listen to Michael now. Not until we found the real culprit."

"Maybe we should just tell Rob's boss about this," Gavin offered carefully. "I'm sure they would tell Rob to stop."

"So that Rob gets even more pissed off with Michael? Brilliant idea!"

"Enough now," Michael stopped Ray before the other could talk himself into a frenzy. "It's just a big misunderstanding. First I will talk to Rob and see if I can explain things."

Yeah, sure. Secretly he agreed with Ray, but he liked Gavin's optimism. If he got lucky and Rob would actually believe him things would get back to normal, but he really didn't have any evidence. Fuck, he would just have to try.

"Are you going to talk to him over the phone at least?" Gavin asked, and that wouldn't work, if Rob even answered he would just tell him a place to meet. But he couldn't tell that Gavin who already looked so worried.

Getting up he sat down with the other two and let Gavin huddle into his side.

"I'll be super careful, okay? I'll see if I can get in contact with him."

 

Rob had told him to look at his phone and Michael actually had to search for it first. He hadn't used it much before and after their falling out he hadn't even thought about it, but now he sat down on his bed and held it in his hand.

_ 'Meet me outside at midnight' _

The phone was shaking a little by how tight he was holding it and still he couldn't stop staring at the message on the display.

_ 'Meet me outside at midnight' _

In the middle of the night when nobody else was around. Where there were no watching eyes who could interfere or help him in any way. In the middle of the night when all kinds of things could be hidden in the dark.

Michael's first reaction was not to go of course. It wasn't like Rob would break in and search through the whole orphanage for him. They didn't have much but they did have security even if it was some guys who were on the verge of retirement, but oh did they love to call the police.

Unfortunately that would only prolong his problems. Rob had shown today that he knew Michael's way home, that he knew where Michael went to school, and even if he chose a detour, it wasn't damn hard to figure out. Not when Rob knew exactly where he was coming from and going to.

Worst though, he knew Ray and Gavin. He knew where they went to school.

Another part of him wanted to just explain to Rob what happened. Send a nice long message assuring him that Michael didn't have anything to do with it.

Yeah, because Rob would surely believe that.

He could just walk up to the Fakes, ask Jack for a favor. Only that he would do just the exact thing Rob was so pissed about. Also why should the Fakes care? They wouldn't listen to a snotty brat and... what? Kill Rob? That was even worse! Rob was an asshole but Michael didn't want to see him dead thanks to him. No, that wasn't a solution.

So the only hope was to go out there tonight and actually talk to him. Face to face Rob might actually believe him that he didn't have anything to do with it. Surely Rob had seen how shocked and scared Michael had been when the Fakes had snatched them up, when the fucking Vagabond had him in his grasp. No way he had planned that because he had nearly pissed his pants right then and there.

Rob wasn't stupid, he could recall the situation probably as clearly as Michael. Who knew, maybe they would even laugh about it at the end of the day.

Or Michael would end up dead in a ditch. Yeah.

Finally the phone slipped from his hands and he groaned.

Fuck, what was he supposed to do? He didn't know, he didn't fucking know and things had been good. For once things had actually somehow worked out but of course that couldn't stay, right? It never did.

_ "What about you? Will Rob hurt you?" _

Gavin's question was haunting him and he slipped down until he was laying down in bed. Outside it was already getting dark and he couldn't stop time from moving on. It had taken him most of the day to calm Ray and Gavin down and now they were in their own room, doing whatever. Michael had sent them out, pretending he was going to study but he hadn't even touched his homework. That was the last thing on his mind and he hated that. Even if he would somehow make it out of tonight he'd start to fall behind again, he could already tell.

Who cared, he obviously wasn't meant for school. It was like the whole world was stopping him from getting shit right so why even try?

Turning onto his side, he watched the second bed in the room. Where had Todd gone? Was he still out there somewhere or already dead? They hadn't been friends, far from it, but sharing a room meant getting to know each other if he wanted to or not.

Todd hadn't said a thing the day he had stepped out of here and never returned and sometimes it felt like Michael was the only one who even remembered him. It was a pretty ordinary thing happening here though, and besides a police report the staff didn't do shit about it.

That was what would happen to him as well. At least Ray and Gavin would remember him, but he wasn't sure if he even wanted them to. If he'd just disappear he knew exactly what would happen and it wouldn't be good. 

Gavin would pull back again, building up all the defenses that were slowly coming down after the death of his parents, and Ray? Oh, Ray would have to step up. Ray would try to choose the same way as Michael or even worse, he would search for Rob because he was an idiot like that.

"Shut the fuck up," Michael whispered to himself. Turning this around and around in his head wouldn't do him any good. He was just freaking himself out. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad, maybe Rob would actually hear him out. Shit, he was hoping so.

The time moved on without any chance to stop it and he tried himself on normalcy. He visited Ray and Gavin right before bed to make sure they were fine and joked around like always. It nearly made him forget about Rob for a while, but of course it was there. It hung like a shadow over them, it was in Gavin's nervous glances and Ray's still swollen cheek.

But they feigned normalcy until he told them both good night and headed back into his own room. It was nearly 11pm already and he sat on his bed, unable to do anything besides wait. His leg hurt but he had checked on the cut a few times already. It hadn't reopened and he was willing to take that as a good sign.

Ten minutes later he got up because he was getting restless. He kept on glancing out of the window and then back to his door as if he expected someone to walk in. Probably Rob to ambush him, but that wasn't very likely. More likely was Gavin who couldn't sleep and that would make things just more complicated and now that the thought was in his mind he couldn't sit still anymore.

Shrugging his jacket on, he left his room and walked down the hallway. There was no light coming from beneath their door and when he stopped and listened he couldn't hear a thing. Hopefully the both of them were asleep, hopefully they wouldn't wake up.

Sneaking out of the orphanage wasn't hard if you knew how and it certainly wasn't the first time Michael had done it. Dug behind some bushes he scurried past the security guard that was probably watching TV or something, but it was better safe than sorry.

Once he left the gate he felt like he was suffocating. At first glance everything laid still and abandoned in front of him but he knew better. Los Santos never slept, and where the middle of the city was buzzing with noise and light, he wouldn't find that here. But in neighborhoods like this one just had to look closer because there was movement and life here as well. It was in dark corners and seemingly abandoned alleys, just waiting for someone thinking they were alone and safe.

Leaning against the walls surrounding the orphanage, Michael started to wait. He wasn't as scared of his surroundings as he probably should, but he was part of it. He was part of this part of town and so he knew the rules. Standing here, people knew he was waiting for someone and that usually meant trouble; they wouldn't bother him tonight.

The streetlight closest to him wasn't working like many more in this area because nobody gave a fuck about it. That way the only light was pretty much the moon and some lit up windows here and there. It had to be a full moon by how bright it was but he couldn't see it. There was a thin layer of clouds in the sky and the rest was occupied by ugly skyscrapers. The heat of the day was still trapped in the valleys between the buildings and the tarmac below him and still he was shaking.

He was still trying to control it when a car came closer and he recognized it. It made his stomach drop because inside sat Rob but he wasn't alone. There was a guy sitting next to him and Michael hadn't expected that. He couldn't even make sure if that was all because the windows in the back were tinted and he couldn't see.

The car stopped before him and he couldn't move, frozen right where he stood. The window was rolled down and Rob leaned out. He didn't look ready to talk this out.

"Get in."

He couldn't. If he got into this car he wouldn't come home again. He was really, really sure that he wouldn't be found then, and if he got lucky enough to be found, it would be behind some dumpster by the docks, where only drug addicts and homeless people roamed.

"No." It came out weak and scared and he wished it hadn’t. Weak and scared wouldn't cut it with people like this, it just excited them more.

"What?" Rob snapped at him and Michael actually jumped at his angered tone.

"Listen Rob," he blurted out. "Let me expla-"

"Explain why you fucking destroyed all I've built up?"

"It wasn't me! I swear, it wasn't me!"

"Oh, of course not. It's just all a big funny coincidence that you were right there when it happened. Big fucking proof so that I couldn't even try to talk myself out of the mess. Funny how that happened!"

"Come on, Rob. You know I need the money," he pleaded. "I fucking need the money I got from you and it's not like I have many options around here! Why would I sell you out if it also hurts me? You were always good to me!"

"Damn right, I was. Helped you when you were in a pinch, didn't shove my boot up your ass when you didn't sell enough a day." The car door opened and Rob got out. "Because I understood that you had it rough, Michael. That you needed the money and I'm a good guy. I always was with you, but then you just had to fuck it all up."

"I didn't! Really, I need your money an-"

"Do you now?" He stopped right in front of him and Michael pressed himself against the wall behind him, hoping it would somehow swallow him up and spit him back out to safety.

"Funny that you didn't seem to be in any financial trouble after the whole disaster. I guess your new friend helped you out to get over the loss of your job. You know, the little black card you've been carrying around."

"Wha-"

"I've worked for the Fakes long enough to know these cards and to know what kind of people get them. Those who did a good job, who helped Ramsey out. A cute little present for their men."

Michael froze in place. He hadn't- that wasn't what had happened! But Rob wouldn't believe him. No way, never. He wouldn't want to because he was pissed and Michael was his scapegoat.

Rob's hand seized his chin and forced him to look up at him.

"Get in the car."

"No," he whispered and the fingers dug into his cheeks until it hurt.

"That wasn't a fucking question, Michael."

"I won't come with you."

"What makes you think you have a choice?"

Rob pushed him away and reached into his pockets. Whatever he had hidden there couldn't be good and Michael panicked.

"Please, Rob! It really wasn't me! Do you really think I went to the Fakes? I didn't even know you worked for them!"

It was a knife. Oh God it was a knife Rob pulled out, and Michael wanted to run. He wouldn't make it, he knew that. Not before Rob could catch him and what was he even thinking? Why bother refusing Rob and not getting into the car? Did he really think Rob wouldn't make him? That he, a fifteen-year-old boy could do a damn thing? Because he couldn't that was fucking sure right about now.

Rob would do whatever he wanted to with him and Michael wouldn't like it. Oh no, Rob would make him pay for something he hadn't even done, but what did that matter? At least Rob would feel better and nobody would come looking for Michael. He wasn't important enough to get any police attention, not some kid with no real family.

"Get in the car." The knife pressed against his throat and still Michael couldn't move. He didn't want to die.

"It wasn't me," he murmured, and Rob's fist crashed into his face. His head hit the wall behind him and for a moment he actually passed out or something. At least he was pretty sure, because in the next moment he was on the floor and Rob was looming above him, the knife still in his hand. Behind them another car door opened and whoever was with Rob joined them.

Michael couldn't breathe. He tried, heaving down gulps of air, but it didn't reach his lungs. Not with his tight the panic was grasping his chest and squeezing.

"Rob-"

The boot dug into his stomach and Michael gagged. He tried to push the leg away but the moment he turned his attention to that another boot came down on his head. He smacked hard against the sidewalk and his mouth filled with warm blood as his lip split against his teeth. Spitting out he looked up and tried to speak, to assure Rob to just let him go but his voice fell silent.

The two men were looming above him, a dark spark in their eyes. Oh, they enjoyed this too much. It didn't even matter if it had been Michael, they had found their victim and that was it.

"I told you to get in the car but you couldn't even follow that simple instruction."

Rob crouched down in front of him and if possible that just made him more threatening. Michael couldn't help but whimper and close his eyes. The knife was somewhere in front of him, reflecting the cold moonlight.

He was turned on his back then, a heavy hand on his shoulder holding him down. There was blood on his teeth and the taste made him want to gag but he still didn't dare to open his eyes. In an old childish believe he was sure that if he couldn't see it coming, it wouldn't happen at all.

"Are you going to cry for me, Michael?"

The lights of the orphanage were turned on, he could hear the telltale click even from here. It had to be the outer ones because he could see them through his eyelids.

"What?" The hand on his shoulder relaxed slightly and Michael could hear the front door fall shut somewhere beyond the wall. Had the security guard heard something? Maybe, he didn't yet dare to hope.

"Fuck-" Rob grasped him tightly and the second guy as well. They heaved him up to his feet and dragged him towards the car. Michael's eyes flew open and he realized that this was his chance, the only one he might have.

He began to fight then, against the hands on him and even if Rob was still clutching the knife he didn't care. If he got in the car it would all be over.

"Hold stil-"

"No!" He threw himself back with all the strength and the fear he felt, shaking off one of the hands. The other one held tight to his jacket and when the knife went through his sleeve he didn't even notice. All he did was throw himself around and shrug off his jacket at the same time. The resistance went away and he stumbled towards the gate, barely staying on his feet.

Rob was swearing but Michael didn't think he was actually coming after him. He wouldn't turn around to check on it though, he hit the gate hard and pulled it open. Back in the bright courtyard he made sure that the latch fell shut before pressing himself against the wall next to it.

This wouldn't stop Rob if he really wanted him, Michael had climbed over the wall before, and so he waited with bated breath. When he heard the car door instead he nearly sobbed but he only dared to curl into himself when he heard the car take off.

For a few moments he just breathed and then the shaking started. From his fingers down to his toes and he had to press his lips together to not make a noise. That hurt but the pain was far away and kinda empty. He nearly relished in it, because with each beat of his heart and drop of blood coming from his chin he knew that he was alive.

He was alive.

A shadow fell on him and he looked up then, expecting Hank or one of the security guards.

"You weren't in your bed so we came looking for you," Gavin whispered and Michael could only stare. There was something so pained in his face and Michael should calm him down, but he couldn't move. No, he just cowered in front of him and tried hard not to break down.

Maybe Gavin could tell, because he dropped to the floor and wrapped his arms around him. Michael couldn’t help himself and without thinking he held onto the small boy. He shouldn’t, that wasn’t something Gavin should have to concern himself with. Gavin should be in bed, safe and sound and not out here.

But in that moment Michael couldn’t help himself. He was torn between being terrified and relieved and slowly the pain set in. He was aching all over and he wanted to hide in his jacket when he realized that he didn’t have it anymore. It was out there on the sidewalk and might as well be in another world for all he cared. Like hell he would go out there to grab his jacket!

“Hey!” Someone yelled and Michael flinched so hard that he groaned. For the first time he noticed the cut on his arm but before he could truly check on it another shadow appeared, this time at the entrance of the orphanage.

Not Rob.

“What are you punks trying to do?”

It was someone from security and Michael nearly felt relieved. Then he noticed Ray struggling in the grip of the man and went all tense again. Usually he would storm at the man right about now, screaming profanities until the attention was off Ray and on him, but right now he wasn’t sure if he could even move if his life depended on it.

The guard came closer, pulling Ray along. Thanks to the lights in his back Michael couldn’t see the face of the man clearly but he could tell that his anger faded once he took a double check on them.

“Are you hurt?”

Oh, he meant him. Michael figured he still had blood on his face but at least his arm was relatively hidden because Gavin was sitting in front of him.

“He fell from the wall,” Gavin answered before Michael could even think about a reply.

“Are you guys insane trying to break out this late? Do you know how dangerous it is out there?”

“We wanted to see a movie.” That was Ray, and Michael nearly wanted to laugh. He swallowed it down though because it would sound hysterical and that wouldn’t help their case.

“A movie isn’t worth your damn life!” The guard shook Ray a little as if he hoped that would help him think clearer. “Also you shouldn’t have put on the damn light then? Not very sneaky.”

“I didn’t know the button did that,” Ray lied to him, and like this, halfway turned to the guard, Michael could see him pouting. It was fake of course, his eyes too wide and his cheeks flushed in excitement.

The guard just huffed and threw another glance at the three of them, probably debating what to do. This should be the point in which Michael had to take over, pull something out of his ass to not get into trouble but his brain was blank. All he could was watch and listen to the static in his head.

“You need something for that?” The guard finally asked with a nod towards Michael and he quickly shook his head. He could take care of it himself, he always did. It wasn’t as bad anyway.

“Fine. Get back into your beds and if I see one of you out here again I’ll kick your asses in. All of this for a movie! God, how stupid are you guys!”

Ray argued a little further with him which allowed Gavin the time to help Michael up. And he actually needed the help, his legs were shaking and he feared he would start to cry. Just here and now.

Instead he pulled himself together and let Gavin lead him towards the bathroom while Ray still took care of the guard.

"Here." Gavin held a wet washcloth up to him and Michael took it without much thinking. When he turned towards the mirrors his stomach sunk. Sure, he looked worse with the bright artificial light but it was still a shock to see his chin coated in dark blood. His lip was already starting to swell and when he pressed the washcloth against it he hissed. It stung like a bitch, somehow more than in the moment Rob had punched him but with the blood gone he felt better. Like this was all a dream, a nightmare and now he was awake again.

Gavin touched his arm and he turned around. The cut in his arm didn't look too deep and he figured his leather jacket had taken the worst of the blow but it was still bleeding sluggishly.

"Do you think you need stitches?" Gavin asked him and something about his fingers so close to his cut, to this reminder of what had just happened snapped Michael back into himself. The shock or whatever it was fell from him and he pulled back.

"I can take care of it. Don't worry about it."

Gavin stared up at him, hurt of all things, but Michael brushed by him to get a bandage from the cabinet. When he turned around Ray had joined them, but he didn't look as smug as Michael had expected him to. No, the worry was also clear in his face when he saw Michael's arm and the bloodied washcloth that he now threw carelessly into the next sink.

"What are you guys even doing out of bed?" Michael asked and the two of them shared a look.

"I woke up and wanted to come into your room," Gavin explained. "You weren't there so I woke Ray and we started looking for you."

"Oh what a great idea, Gav! Do you have any idea in how much trouble you two could've gotten in?"

Gavin lowered his gaze but now Michael was pissed. For the first time he realized how close that had been, that between Rob and those two had only been a gate and a wall and neither would've stopped Rob at that moment.

No, if he would have realized that it wasn't security but Ray and Gavin behind those shenanigans? God, Michael felt himself grow sick just thinking about it.

"Don't be stupid," Ray spoke up next. "You were the one in trouble, not us!"

"Oh shut up, Ray! You had no idea what was going on!"

"What was going on? You were getting your ass kicked because you went out there like an idiot!" Ray huffed in agitation and actually dared to take a step towards him. Michael had to stop himself from pushing him back.

"I had this under control!"

"Bullshit!" Now Ray was actually the one pushing him and Michael balled his hands to fists. With anyone else he would've punched them, he didn't take such blatant disrespect, but of course he couldn't. He couldn't do it because it was Ray and Ray was furious as he looked up to him.

"You have some beef with your old boss and now he's after you. He's fucking after you to either get that stupid money you got or just because he got into trouble thanks to you! If we wouldn't have come out there we would've found you dead on the sidewalk in the morning!"

"Ray-"

"Is that true?" Gavin's voice sounded weak and quiet after their screaming and Michael barely dared to look at him. When he did though he found the other pale and shaking, two hectic red spots on his cheeks.

His big eyes were traveling over Michael, from the cut on his arm up to the smeared blood on his face and the fear and shock turned to horror. To such a deep dread that Michael feared Gavin would just collapse from it.

"Does Rob want to kill you?"

No. That's what Michael should say right here and now. No, because that couldn't be true. No, because he didn't want to worry them, because he didn't want to believe it himself. He didn't want to be trapped in this predicament and not knowing what to do. How to keep them safe and out of this. How to get himself out of it and get back to trying to get his life in order. He had made a start at it but now his efforts seemed laughable.

None of that left his mouth because his throat felt too tight to even breathe and his arm hurt. Also it was true. After tonight he did believe that Rob wanted him dead just so the man could pretend to revolt against the rules of the Fakes. Just to keep face and Michael was his damn scapegoat.

So all he did was stare at Gavin with his wide eyes and then down to Ray in front of him and Ray still looked up at him. His chin raised defiantly and with unshed tears in his eyes because he was scared as well. He pushed Michael once again then, a furious movement because he had no idea how else to react and this time Michael stumbled back, too weak to stand his ground.

Rob wanted him dead. Rob wanted to kill him and he could do it just like that.

Michael was a nobody, a child of the system that nobody really cared for. He was just a nuisance, to be processed through here year after year until he turned eighteen and spit out on the street. Like this it would just happen a bit sooner.

His back hit the tiled wall and he didn't even try to catch himself, just leaned against it. Somehow that made everything worse and Ray's face fell like he couldn't believe he had that power. The power to even move Michael who was so much bigger and stronger than him. His protector since they had met, and Michael wished he had stood firm and just taken it. He could do that, he had done it all his life, but right now he could barely breathe.

This time when Ray stepped forward it was just to throw himself against him, arms wrapped tight around Michael's middle and squeezing so hard that he feared he'd have to throw up. Ray burrowed his head against Michael's ribs and let out a heaving sob.

"I don't want you dead!"

Michael could just look down towards the dark hair and felt ready to burst into tears himself. Ray was twelve years old, he shouldn't have to worry about shit like that. He shouldn't stand in a dirty bathroom in the dead of night, crying because he was worried that Michael was going to get murdered. That he would be left alone once again.

"Don't worry," Michael found himself saying, pushing each syllable through his tight throat. He had to tell Ray that because no one else would and he picked the boy up. It hurt because his ribs still felt tender, like his skin was too tightly stretched across them but he had to do it. Not only for Ray but also to himself. He still had to make sure that he could pick them up when no one else did, that he was still strong enough for that.

"I'll figure this out."

Ray hid his face against the crook of Michael's neck, crying helplessly and Michael bit down onto his lip. The pain helped to keep in control, to not make a wrong noise while he felt the hot tears against his skin. He was the strong one, out of the three he had to be if he wanted to protect them. And he wanted them to be safe, he wanted nothing more in his life. He loved them so much, he was the only one who did, and they were soaking it up with each breath they took. They needed him because he was keeping the monsters at bay, because he could show them the way and be there in the night. With him gone they would be out there in this big, scary world.

Gavin crashed into his side, hands grasping for them and Michael wanted to pick him up as well. To hold him close and keep him here with him where it was safe but right now he feared he wasn't strong enough. So instead he crouched down, keeping Ray pressed close to him while also wrapping an arm around Gavin, keeping the three of them together.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, quick announcement:  
> There won't be any update in the next two weeks. I'm going to Thailand for ten days and won't have time to write/edit during that time. I'll come back with an extra big chapter though, so at least there's that! So sorry!  
> You should still reach me on my Tumblr and I'll be posting updates and pictures whenever I can!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We can't go out there," Gavin said. "It's dangerous!"  
> "So what do you want to do? Just stay in bed the rest of your life?"  
> "Well the bed is kinda super comfy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late but I'm back! I actually survived my trip; I'm surprised myself. Thailand was amazing and it was always a big dream of mine to go to Asia and see the temples and stuff; so I was super excited!  
> Now we'll go back to the normal schedule and as promised we are back with a super long chapter. I had so much fun writing this and I hope you guys will enjoy it as much!

Chapter 5

 

Michael's alarm blared, making him flinch. He hadn't slept a wink last night. The cut in his arm had turned out to be rather shallow but it had started to sting nonetheless, and he had to remind himself all the time not to pick on it. His split lip felt hot and swollen and the side of his head that had hit the sidewalk hadn't stopped pounding.

Stil, that wasn't what had kept him up at night. It was his thoughts, turning everything that had happened around and around in his head. Searching for a way out, a way to get it right. He wasn't sure if there was one, because even though he had twisted and turned it all night he wasn't any further along.

There had been two ideas in his head, one more ridiculous as the other. The first one was to use the credit card and buy alcohol or drugs or something bad, something that Jack wouldn't want him to have. Then Jack would come and he could talk to her, maybe ask for help. In his tired mind it nearly made sense until he realized that she wouldn't come, she would just block the card or something. He could go to her probably, but he couldn't remember for the life of him where their base had been.

Back then in the car with Rob at his side, he had been too scared to pay attention. He figured he could just walk through the general area and would probably find it, but walking around alone right now wasn't his best idea. Rob was surely keeping an eye on him and was just waiting for something like that.

His second idea was to kill Rob. If he killed Rob before Rob could get to him he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. Only that he couldn't kill Rob, he didn't have a weapon, not after the Vagabond had taken his knife and gun. And Rob had both of those things and some friends who would gladly help.

Also Michael didn't think he could do it, he was weak like that.

So he was just as far as before he laid down and now he sat up, groggy and dead tired, to put out his alarm.

Across the room, in the usual unoccupied bed, Gavin raised his head. Last night Michael had tried to send both of them back into their beds but they hadn't listened, and maybe he hadn't tried all too hard. It was kinda reassuring to know they were there, to hear their breathing in the dead of night. It kept him from freaking out and pacing restlessly through the room.

He wasn't sure how much they had slept as well, he had heard them whisper quietly, had heard their shuffling but now they both blinked the sleep out of their eyes.

"Time for school," Michael told them and had to clear his throat right afterwards. His voice was hoarse and he noticed that he was thirsty.

"School? Are you kidding me?" Ray lifted his head from underneath the blankets and glared at him. "You really thinking about school after yesterday?"

Instead of answering Michael stood up and went to search for some clean clothes. He could still feel Ray's eyes on him.

"You are serious!"

"Of course I am. Now get up."

When he looked up with a pair of socks in his hand he realized that this hadn't been a good idea. Pretending that everything was fine wasn't working because now both of them looked at him, horrified at the idea alone.

"We can't go out there," Gavin said. "It's dangerous!"

"So what do you want to do? Just stay in bed the rest of your life?"

"Well the bed is kinda super comfy."

Michael just huffed and walked over to them to pull their blanket away. Their noises of protest were nice and familiar but that didn't change the facts.

"I'll drop you off at school," he promised them because he hated seeing them scared.

"Bu-"

"We'll take the bus, alright? It'll drop us right off at your school and there are too many people there. Nothing will happen."

The two of them shared a look but they had to know that he was right. The bus was stopping at the school and the stop was just around the corner. Before it would've been too expensive but things had changed.

"But what about you? You still have to walk to your school right?" Gavin asked but Michael had already thought about that as well. At least something that this sleepless night had been good for.

"There is no bus to my school, but it's not too far from your school, right? Also there are a bunch of other kids going there and I'll just walk with them. Rob won't try shit with so many people around."

At least he hoped so because those people were just a bunch of kids. Nobody would be able to fight Rob off or even try to. They would maybe report the incident to the police if he got lucky.

At least Gavin looked a bit more hopeful after hearing that, but Ray didn't believe him. No, Ray sat there in his pyjamas and wild bed hair and stared at him with his dark eyes, knowing fully well what kind of bullshit Michael was spewing here.

No, in this case Ray was too damn smart for his own good.

"Go to the police," he said with a surprisingly stern voice and Michael huffed again.

He couldn't, was the problem. If he did they would find out that he had been involved in drugs and he would be locked away. That would be the end of him, no way he'd get a job then.

"They won't believe an asshole like me," he said instead, and that wasn't even a lie. He didn't think they would bat more than an eye at him.

Ray glared at him for a moment longer before lowering his gaze. That was something he could believe, something that made sense to him. Michael was pretty sure nobody in this area trusted the cops more than they could throw them and least of all in this orphanage. Some kids were here especially because of some cops going after their parents or because some cops hadn't done their job right and caught the bad guys.

All that was left afterwards, the misfits with no money were stuffed in places like this and forgotten. The cops didn't like the reminder of them.

"Come on, get up and let's grab some breakfast."

 

When they stepped out of the gate that had kept Rob outside yesterday, Michael couldn't help but turn around to check on the sidewalk. He didn't want to because he could tell that both of them also kept looking with a strange curiosity.

There was a bit of blood there but not much, nothing that anyone would notice if they weren't actively looking for it. His jacket was gone, though, and that was strange. What the fuck did Rob want with his jacket? It wasn't valuable or anything and already well worn.

Now it was gone, and Michael felt strangely sad about that. It had been a present from his dad and he had been so proud of it. He didn't have too many reminders of his family and he treasured the few things he had. With this jacket gone he felt naked and unprotected.

Gavin noticed as well. The moment they reached the street his hand shot up, ready to hold onto Michael's sleeve but not finding anything. The boy froze for a moment and Michael offered his hand instead, but that wasn't what Gavin wanted. No, the boy just shook his head and burrowed his hands in the pockets of his shorts.

They all relaxed once they reached the bus stop because it was more crowded there. Adults, but also a lot of other students waiting in the sun. Gavin and Ray even waved to some of them but didn't leave his side and Michael was eternally thankful for that. With them around he was forced to keep it together, to not freak out. His eyes kept on traveling around, searching for a glimpse of Rob, of the car from yesterday even though he couldn't even remember how it truly looked like.

He didn't see either, but that didn't mean much. Rob knew a lot of people who could keep an eye on Michael until Michael was alone. 

The bus was crowded and it was hot and stifling inside even this early in the morning. It made Michael somehow nauseated and he yearned for fresh air before his stomach would start to protest. His breakfast felt strange now, thick and heavy like a stone even though he hadn't eaten much. The vibration and the bodies pressing against him did the rest and he closed his eyes, one hand holding on to a seat, the other to Gavin's shoulder to make sure the boy was still there. He could hear them talking to each other, excited about taking the bus and to see their classmates this early and that was reassuring.

When they could finally get out Michael took greedy gulps of air until his head felt a little clearer. He was well aware that he got some weird looks because of that but he didn't really care. It might also be because of his bruises that had to look rather bright in the morning light. He ignored the stares and rather turned towards Ray and Gavin.

"I'll come and pick you up after school, alright?"

"Shouldn't we come to get you instead?"

"Absolutely not." He had to keep from shivering at the thought alone. "You'll wait for me and you'll wait inside the gate. You won't walk home alone, you won't take the bus alone, and you won’t go with no one else. Your asses stay right inside the school until I come around to get you. Is that clear?"

His instructions scared Gavin he could tell. The boy stared at him like yesterday, wide eyed and pale. Ray however looked pissed off, his lips pressed together tightly, but thankfully he didn't talk back. Michael didn't want another discussion, not after yesterday, not after not getting a wink of sleep and still feeling a bit sick from the bus drive.

"We're not stupid," Ray just said, and Michael sighed.

"I know that. So don't act stupid. I'll hurry to get you as fast as possible after school."

"Alright."

Gavin stepped ahead to hug him, something he usually didn't do around his classmates or close to the school but now he didn't seem to even think about letting go. He pressed his face into Michael's side without so much as a noise and Michael's heart sank.

He patted him on the back before pushing him away with soft force.

"Don't be a baby in front of your classmates. They'll tease you."

"I don't care if they do. I just don't want you to get into trouble," Gavin told him. "Please... please Michael, lets just go home. Let's stay in our rooms and not go to school. It's too dangerous and I hate that I won't see you again until this afternoon. I hate thinking about sitting here for over an hour waiting for you without even knowing if you'll show up. It's scary."

"I'll be fine, Gav."

"That's what you said yesterday as well and you weren't fine." His eyes darted to Michael's bandage that was covering the cut in his arm. "I don't want to find you somewhere dead..."

Like he had found his parents dead in the morning, still wearing his pyjamas and looking for breakfast. Whenever Michael tried to imagine that picture that Gavin had painted for him before, he got all choked up, and even now in broad daylight he couldn't stop it. So he pulled Gavin in to kiss his cheek and squeeze his arm.

"You won't. I promise."

He watched as the two of them walked through the school gate and disappeared into the crowd of other students. Good, they were safe there just like he would be in his school.

Michael turned to leave and saw the car in the corner of his eye. It was dark and drove by him without slowing down. His heart picked up and he stared after it before he realized that he was ridiculous. He didn't know what the car looked like because he hadn't paid attention to it, and it would be useless to panic over every dark car he'd come across because that would be an awful lot of stress. They were in Los Santos, there had to be thousands of dark cars!

Still the feeling wouldn't leave him alone and he began to run. His school wasn't too far away and he knew that he was getting strange looks from the people around but he didn't care. Neither of them would help him in case Rob really decided to show up, they would all only care for their own skin so he didn't give a fuck what they thought of him.

It was a warm day just like nearly every other one in Los Santos and soon enough Michael's shirt was clinging to him uncomfortably. Also he was apparently very untrained because before long his breath became more labored and he wanted to stop and take a rest. Instead he forced himself to run on until he reached the steady stream of students heading to his school. That felt safe enough to stop for and he did so, wiping sweat from his forehead. Now the judging looks were more prominent and harder to ignore because he knew the people around him. Those were his classmates or students he would meet around the school.

None of them bothered to greet him, but that wasn't something new. It had been a bit of a surprise to see Ray and Gavin so readily accepted by his classmates and Michael was glad for that, really! He just wasn't cut out for it. He was the weird kid, the one who could explode if you dared to interact with him. The one with rundown shoes and old clothes and no phone. Even if someone actually came up to him to invite him to a party or something Michael always refused. Mostly because he didn't have the time with his job and taking care of the other two, but also because he felt uncomfortable around his classmates.

It was as if there was a wall between them, like they were walking in different worlds with a whole different set of problems that Michael didn't care about. This world with sex and love and celebrities, of diets and fashion was strange and foreign to him and he didn't want to indulge in it. He had his own worries.

Like the fact that he hadn't done his homework yesterday and also hadn't continued to work on his projects.

Mister Barney was watching him long and hard in class, his eyes wandering to Michael's swollen lip and the bandage around his arm before lowering again. As if he was chiding himself for believing, as if he was giving up on Michael and if possible that made him feel even worse.

He stayed in his seat, quietly and without paying attention throughout the whole day and stared at the pen in his hands. That had been it then. He had his taste of hope and a future and it had been sweet those few weeks. Now it was back to square one but who was he kidding? It was even worse!

At square one nobody wanted to fucking kill him!

The thought left him in a horrible mood, desperate for guidance and hopeless because he knew it wouldn't come. It never had and he would just have to do it himself like always. It made him feel disconnected from everyone around, like an alien in this classroom that should be familiar to him. But there was no one to turn to, nobody he could ask for help and for a while the weight of it all was ready to crush him.

Instead he steeled himself against it and told himself to suck it up. Giving up wouldn't make things better, quite the opposite and so he stared at the clock until it was finally 3 o'clock.

He raced back towards Ray's and Gavin's school. He didn't have the patience to wait for the flood of students to go that way because they weren't in a hurry. No, they were laughing with each other, talking and grabbing something to eat on the way home. How mundane.

There were cars driving by him and each one of them left him on edge, behind each wheel was Rob, staring at him, ready to stop and finish what he started. Or just run him over - easier like that and hey, that was a thought that hadn't even occurred to him!

But he reached the school with no attempt on his life but out of breath. The security guard was sitting in her little shed by the door and was observing him. Probably wondering if he meant trouble but Michael didn't think he could, not while he was gasping for breath and maybe she figured that as well.

"What do you want?" she called.

"Just here to pick someone up." Usually he didn't have to interact with anyone from school because Ray and Gavin were waiting outside, but he wasn't really allowed to just run into the school like this. Now she was watching him even closer, debating whether to let him in, but then he already heard Ray call out to him.

The two of them had been sitting in the shadow of the building and Ray was picking up their stuff. Gavin on the other hand was racing towards him, something wild and scared in each step and when he crashed into Michael he nearly took him straight from his feet.

It took his breath away the raw desperation Gavin clung to him and he let his hands drop down to squeeze his shoulder.

"I'm fine," he assured him and nearly wanted to laugh, but Gavin just shook his head, hands grasping on his shirt.

"I hate this," the boy spat, and Michael's smile fell. "I truly, truly hate this!"

He did too.

Ray joined them then as well. Face pale and drawn tight, but he forced a smile.

"Looks like you made it through another day!" he called, and Michael had to snort.

"I guess I did."

Ray didn't hug him but stood as close as possible, eyes locked on him as if he truly had to make sure that Michael was alright, was still in one piece. The concern touched him but also felt heavy and Michael didn't want to dwell on it.

Instead he looked up and found the security guard chuckling to herself. She couldn't hear what they said or probably thought it a joke in case she could. For her they were just kids greeting each other and Michael smiled at her because that was a damn nice thought.

 

Their days continued like that. Michael would bring them to school and pick them back up, all the while on edge. He couldn't concentrate when he was sitting in class, always expecting Rob to just burst in, to wait for him outside, to go after Gavin and Ray. It left him sick and stressed and he always started to run the moment he was dismissed.

Every day Ray and Gavin were waiting for him in the same spot and every day the same security guard would already call them over the moment she saw Michael approach.

"Your brother is here!" he could hear her say, and didn't find it in him to correct her. It might as well be true.

At night he couldn't sleep no matter how exhausted he was. He was laying awake, staring at the wall or the ceiling and trying his hardest not to panic. On one hand he hoped that it was good that Rob hadn't done shit yet, it probably meant that he was sick and tired of Michael. Or he just wanted to freak Michael out and that was surely working without a hitch. If he could Michael would just pace around all night, walking back and forth until the nervous energy passed, but he couldn't.

Both Ray and Gavin hadn't given up on the empty bed in his room, squeezing inside each evening and sometimes Michael grew angry about that. He didn't want them around all the time, not when he was mulling everything over in his head, when he had such a hard time pulling himself together and stop himself from thrashing around, screaming. He felt trapped in here, in this room and house and city, and he wanted out. Out of this situation.

On the other hand, they also helped him keep in control. When he managed to drift off for a minute and jerked awake again it helped to hear them breathing. That meant they were there with him, that they were safe and not with Rob.

He could hear them toss and turn as well, mostly Gavin. Gavin who couldn't hold still when he was having a bad dream and the little punched out groans he would make. It also would wake Ray and Michael could hear him talk softly in the dead of night.

"Just a dream, Gav," Ray whispered while the other struggled to get a breath in between his sobbing. "It's all good. Michael is still here, we're all still here and fine."

His voice was so tender then. It was rare that Michael heard him like that because Ray could be such an asshole if he wanted to. Growing up here he had to get a thick skin, to fight each damn step of the way but it was nice knowing that this side was still there.

Ray was also worried but it wasn't as prominent. He didn't trash around in his sleep and if he had a nightmare he would just sit up in bed, breath going a bit faster. His eyes would burn into Michael even over the distance in the room until Ray made sure that he was still right where he belonged.

During all of that Michael didn't turn around. He kept his back facing them, pretending to be asleep. That was easier because he didn't know how to react to their worry. It made his heart heavy and he pressed his lips together to not make a noise. Grasping his blanket tight to his chest he listened to them comforting each other, assuring that things would be fine and alright and there was nothing to be scared of.

Michael had to make sure that it was right, that they were safe, but he didn't know how. Even with all his sleepless nights and turning the situation in his head over and over he couldn't find a solution.

During the weekend they stayed inside. Usually they would wander through the city to go window shopping or just to get out, to see something different than their usual routes but not this time. Nobody even mentioned it and Michael knew they were all happy with staying at home. Being here meant at least some form of safety and Michael even dared to relax a little before they would continue with their sharade the next week. Sure, Michael knew that they couldn't go on like this forever, but for now it was all he could think of and it was working, right? It was working.

 

At least until Wednesday of the next week. He had brought Gav and Ray to their school and hurried to his own classes. Whatever good he had done with his intense learning was all for nothing already because he had no idea what they were working on. He was just sitting there, hearing voices around and staring at the clock. The concern of what could happen was omnipresent in his stomach and his shaking hands but who cared about school? Maybe after this whole thing would blow over, then he could start again.

Once they were dismissed he was out of the classroom. Behind him he could hear laughter and knew it was directed at him. As always he ignored it and was the first one outside, jogging down the street. There were cars passing him by but he wasn't panicking whenever one approached him. He had grown tired of that and the weird looks it would get him. Also even if Rob would come after him there was no way he could outrun a car.

By the time he reached the school his breathing was going hard and he was slowing down. Shit, he was really out of shape.

This time he couldn't see the lady sitting by the gate which would explain why it was closed. When he reached it he pulled experimentally on it but of course it wouldn't budge. Frowning he tried to peek through the bars and up to the place he knew Ray and Gavin were waiting for him but couldn't find them.

His stomach sank immediately and he pressed his face closer to the bar until the warm metal hurt.

"Ray?" he called and when he didn't get an answer he tore at the gate. It didn't do much besides making a lot of noise but that was fine with him.

"Gavin!"

Where were they? Had he taken longer than usual? No, he didn't think so and even if, they knew better than to head out alone. Had they been thrown out? The school looked empty and abandoned now but Michael also couldn't remember seeing anyone else around this time. It was an hour after the last class so no student would linger around anymore.

He pulled once more on the gate before letting his backpack fall. Wrapping his hands high up on the metal bars he began to pull himself up when he heard a voice.

"What the hell are y- oh." It was the security guard stepping from around the corner. "It's you."

It sounded too much like a question, like she was wondering what he was doing and Michael slowly let himself drop down. The woman had a bundle of keys on her hands, obviously locking down the school and maybe she just needed to go and had started early. Had locked the gate up beforehand to assure nobody could get inside while she made her round. Maybe Ray and Gavin were sitting somewhere in the sun today, a bit further away where they wouldn't be able to hear his calls.

"I wanted to pick them up," Michael explained and then shook the gate again as if that would explain things but the woman just stared at him confused. Did she not recognize him?

"They've already been picked up."

"What?" Michael's heart sank.

"Yeah, the place you guys live in called and arranged them to be picked up."

That happened, rarely but Michael had heard of it. When there were some people interested in adopting you you would be called back to meet them but nobody had been around lately. Even if they did Ray and Gavin were the wrong age. People wanted the small kids, the cute ones not those heading straight into puberty. Also not two. How likely would it be that someone wanted both Ray and Gavin?

No, that wasn't what had happened.

Rob. It had to be Rob, calling here under false name and then picking them up. Easy as that. Maybe not himself because Ray and Gavin would've run away then, but someone close to him, someone that worked under him, and suddenly Michael was sure he would throw up. His hands held onto the iron bars until they dug painfully into his palms.

"They didn't want to go with them," the lady continued and he wanted to look up but everything was spinning. "They wanted to wait for you."

Oh God.

"I didn't like those people showing up and the boys didn't either."

Oh God.

Michael pressed his forehead against the gate and tried to breathe, tried to get some air back into his lungs before he’d passed out. Rob had them. Rob had just drove up here and got them in his car.

He was going to throw up.

"Hey, everything okay?" Cold fingers brushed against his own and he pushed himself off the gate. He had to make sure. Maybe it wasn't like that. Maybe it had been the orphanage, maybe Rob had nothing to do with it.

Throwing himself around he began to run. He didn't think about the bus that would stop just around the corner and would probably bring him home earlier if he could just wait. And he couldn't, that was impossible. The thought of just standing there in the stinking heat inside sickened him. Also he couldn't think clearly, there was no space in his head for that.

His body was working on overdrive, his heart thumping so hard that it hurt and his legs started to feel heavy from running so much. None of that mattered though because he pushed himself to go faster, to get home and in their room. To see them sitting around their table, doing homework or talking or whatever. Waiting for him with a funny sort of explanation.

Even while running Michael knew that wouldn't be the case.

He reached the orphanage in record time, drenched in sweat and without his backpack. It was still laying by the gate and he didn't care a bit about it.

Throwing the door to the office open, he scared Hank up from his impromptu nap.

"Why were Ray and Gavin called back?" Michael wanted to know and his heart was pumping so hard that it made his vision blur.

Hank grunted before turning towards him. "What?"

"I wanted to pick them up but Ray and Gavin weren't at school. The school said they were picked up by someone."

He saw it in Hank's eyes right then and there, the confusion because he had no idea what Michael was talking about. There had be no call to the school, at least not from here and neither Gavin now Ray were here.

Michael pushed himself off the door and back out of the office. His feet carried him down the hallways without him even thinking about it. Hank didn't call out to him or tried to follow him. No, the man was slowly working through what Michael had said and the panic would settle in soon enough because that was bad for the orphanage, right? This could be a fucking catastrophe for this place because there had been horror stories before. Of kids being sold off to some nasty people, kids who would just disappear and besides some halfheartedly police calls there would be nothing they would do.

That hadn't happened here, at least not as far as Michael had heard, but it was common. It had made the headlines for a day or two when it had happened in the other part of the city, but who was he kidding. Wasn't the bed next to him empty for at least a year now? The police had come in once to ask him if he knew where Todd was and that had been it. Silence since then.

So Todd was marked as a runaway and that was fine because he was over sixteen but Gavin and Ray? Oh they were too young to just disappear and what a bad image that would leave. So Hank would call the police soon and they would snoop around then.

Michael didn't think he could wait that long.

Throwing the door to their room open it was as abandoned as he had expected and he didn't even stop in his tracks. Down the hallway was his own room and it could be- it could be that they huddled there, waiting, but they weren't. There was no one inside when Michael opened the door, the rumbled sheets still halfway on the floor just like how they left it this morning.

When? When had they been picked up from the school? He had forgotten to ask and now the question made his stomach churn. How many hours before he had noticed? Right before he had showed up? Shortly after the school had started?

They could already be gone then, unreachable. Six, seven or eight hours and oh God, what horrors could happen in that time.

Michael stood in his doorway, frozen with his hand still on his door and stared at the empty beds.

It was his fault.

It was his fault, that was the bottom line of it all, right? He had screwed up and now they had to pay and for a moment that knowledge nearly broke him. The knowledge that he himself had destroyed what was most important to him weighted so heavy that he just wanted to sit down and be done with it. That he would rather be dead than life on with this guilt. That without Ray or Gavin there would be no reason for him to be here.

He shook those dark thoughts off before they could fester and pin him down here. There was no time for that now, so he forced himself to take another step inside the room. He hadn't gotten rid of the phone Rob had given him and he wasn't surprised to find a new message on the display now.

It was a picture and he didn't want to open it, didn't want to look at it, but he had to. He had to be strong because he couldn't be weak now. Because he could fix this, somehow. There had to be a way because this situation wasn't fair.

Ray and Gavin were innocent, they hadn't done anything wrong so it couldn't hit them. That wasn't right.

The picture wasn't as horrifying as he expected it to be. There was no blood or even Ray or Gavin on it. Michael wasn't sure if he could've taken it if he had seen them hurt or bruised up or even worse. He would've lost his mind on the spot, he was pretty sure.

But there were their backpacks, thrown in a corner of a room somewhere. It was still enough to make bile rise in his throat.

Turning around he hurried back the way he came and this time when he opened the door to the office, Hank wasn't asleep. No, Hank was pale as a sheet and was just putting down the phone.

"When?" Michael asked, and he didn't recognize his own voice.

"Around eleven o'clock."

Nearly five hours then. Five hours. An eternity. A fucking milenia.

And what had Michael done? Sat on his fat ass, staring at a wall in school. How hadn't he known? Shouldn't he sensed it or something? Shouldn't he protect them even when he wasn't around?

He had just sat there, wasting time while God knew what had happened to them. While Ray and Gavin had been pushed in this car, the door shut and lost to the world? Even though they had protested, had told the teachers and that guard that this wasn't right, but who would listen? Who would fucking listen to two kids they didn't give a fuck about.

Had they called for him? Had they called for him and expected him to step around the corner?

He hadn't. He had sat uselessly in his classroom, unaware that he was needed.

Turning around, Michael staggered out of the orphanage. His legs felt weird, like they weren't truly his and when Hank called after him, he didn't react. In his mind it would be better to be outside where the sun was shining and he could take a breath but that didn't change a thing. It didn't change a damn thing as he started to hurry down the street.

He didn't even know why, what the purpose was. He should stay back and wait for the police, right? Tell them everything he knew and let them do their jobs.

But he couldn't sit still, he had to do something. Also he didn't trust the cops, never had and never would. They didn't rule this city, they didn't have any power, and there were so many other things they had to take care of. Two snotty brats missing wasn't high on their priority list.

He should kill Rob. No, he  _would_ kill Rob. That would be the end of this all. That was the only damn solution of this mess and it wasn't the first time that idea had come to him. He had thought about this before but hadn't pulled through because back then the idea had been laughable. He hadn't been able to do it, that's what he had told himself, now he didn't believe so anymore. Now he knew he could, that he should've done it right in the beginning because then Gavin and Ray wouldn't be in danger now. If Michael hadn't been such a bitch, if he hadn't been weak before-

He wouldn't be weak anymore. If he had to kill Rob to get Ray and Gavin back he would do it. He just needed a weapon.

How funny would it be to shoot Rob with his own gun? The gun Rob himself had given him but of course that thing was gone. The Vagabond had pulled it from his jacket on that fateful day and now thinking back to that moment he started to hate the Fakes as well.

Why in that moment? Why had they decided to take Rob right when he had been there? He had nothing to do with the whole mess but now he had been pulled in!

Still he found himself back behind the coffee shop, looking around. Was he sure that the Vagabond had really taken the gun or had he just thrown it away carelessly? He had done the same with the knife at least and Michael would also take the knife, Michael would take any weapon. Anything that he could hurt Rob with and if he wouldn't find shit, he would just use his bare hands.

And there was nothing. The area behind the coffee shop wasn't big and he scanned it quickly. Of course there wouldn't be anything, there would be enough people coming by who could use a knife like his old one. Then he just had to buy a new one.

He searched for the black credit card and then hesitated when he found it in his wallet.

He could buy a gun with this thing no problem. Jack wouldn't be happy, Jack would disable the card and that would be it. But a gun? Maybe Jack would worry, maybe Jack would send someone out to him.

That was a weak hope at best and he shook his head to get rid of it. Even if Jack cared as much, she wouldn't notice right away.  It could take her days to notice the transaction.

But... but the Fakes had brought him into this mess. It was their fault as well and what had Jack said? No kids involved?

They wouldn't be happy about the turn this whole thing took, surely not because Ray and Gavin were kids. They were children who couldn't look after themselves and who were helpless. Who were scared and who knew what Rob was doing to them. If he was hurting them or not, and Michael didn't think that Rob knew that kind of mercy. No, Rob was pissed at him and now he would hurt him in the most horrific way he knew how to.

Oh God, Rob had them.

New bile rose in Michael's throat and this time he couldn't swallow it down. Doubling over, he threw up what little he had in his stomach.

"Oh God no. Oh God please," he whispered and had to hold himself up at the wall to not go down. The pictures and thoughts in his head were terrifying, one worse than the other and fueled by all those horror stories he had heard out on the streets.

Not them. Not Ray and Gavin. They were all he had left and he couldn't stand losing them again.

He reached for the phone again, had just shoved it into his pockets on the way out but he didn't even unlock it. Seeing that photo again might just push him over the edge.

Now that the first wave of shock passed all he felt was sick. Sick with worry and sick with thoughts and he could just collapse right here. Slide down this wall and stay hidden until this thing would blow over, until someone just found him. He couldn't do that.

Should he sent a message to Rob? Ask him what he wanted, if Ray and Gavin were alright and what he should do to get them back?

Maybe. Maybe, he wasn't sure. He didn't know what was the right thing to do and the panic kept on welling up in his chest. What if he screwed up again? What if he played right into Rob's hands? What if he didn't do a thing and made him mad?

What should he do?

A sob dared to push through his throat but he pushed it down. No time for that, he couldn't be weak. He had to find a way, stay level headed, make a plan.

Looking down at his hands, the one holding the phone the other the credit card and he had to make up his mind. Just standing here letting time pass by didn't get him any further.

For a second he unlocked the phone anyway, fingers hovering over the picture without really seeing it. Then he put it back in his pocket, hooping that it was the right decision. But he couldn't do this alone. Doing this alone was one of the reasons why he was in this situation to begin with and he didn't trust himself enough to assure that he wouldn't make it worse.

The Fakes would help him. Maybe or maybe not.

Jack would help him, that one he could believe but he wasn't sure if he could get to her. It was a chance though and it might be the best one he had.

Wiping his eyes he stepped out and back towards the street again. To get to Jack he would have to find the building again and he didn't know where that was. He remembered seeing the Maze Bank from Jack's office so he could at least tell it was somewhere in the east of the city. That was a direction at least.

He waved the first taxi down he saw and dropped into the passenger seat. The woman was already judging him but he didn't pay attention to it, he had way more important problems at hand.

"I need to take me to the east part of town. East of the Maze Bank."

"Where exactly?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I have to look around. Just drive."

But she didn't drive, she kept on staring at him and a part of him wanted to scream at her. If he would've found his knife he might just pull it on here and force her to do as he said. He didn't have fucking time for this kind of games!

"Boy, do you have any idea how much money that would cost during this time of the day?"

"Oh don't worry about that," he huffed, holding up his credit card. "I can pay."

It grew quiet in the car, the radio turned down so low that it sounded like distant whispers. Then the woman chuckled, "I thought Ramsey didn't make deals with kids."

Now Michael looked up, first at her than at the black credit card. It made the woman laugh.

"You don't think Ramsey has his connection with the people who know best what goes on in this city? We are his eyes out here." She watched him for a moment longer before starting her car. "You're not someone he is looking out for and I don't think you would be able to make any trouble even if you were. So you want to get to their base by Maze Bank?"

He nodded, dumbfounded but then they were already moving. He barely registered that because he just continued to stare at the card in his hand and felt the shaking start. Finally, finally something was working and it sounded so unreal that he didn't trust it. Was this woman working for Rob bringing him right to him?

But no, even in his exhausted mind that didn't make much sense. If this woman was working for anyone it would be Ramsey, of course the Fakes would want their eyes everywhere. Would it really be so easy? He had expected to drive around, staring at buildings that all kinda looked the same until he found the right place. That could've taken hours, time he didn't have and now he would just be delivered there.

Michael dared to breath and lean back into his seat. The air conditioning in the car was going full blast and after running around outside it felt icy in here. He pretend that was the reason why he was shaking, but that was a lie.

For the first time since he had stood at the school gate he was holding still and his body couldn't take it. He wanted to run around, do something because then he didn’t have to think about the possibilities. Now nothing stopped him and he felt the phone in his pocket, remembered the picture on it.

God, Gavin would be so scared. Surely Rob would have a gun and Gavin hated guns and Ray- Hopefully Ray kept his dumb, big mouth shut and didn't try to play the hero.

What if Gavin wasn't scared anymore and Ray didn't have the breath for a stupid remark? What if they were already dead, disposed somewhere to teach him a lesson? Would Rob really be so bored and angry that he would waste so much time with two brats? Or would he just get rid of them right away?

Bile rose in his throat once more and Michael quickly pushed his hand against his mouth, forcing himself to swallow. And then, even worse, he felt tears in his eyes, hot and unforgiving.

No, not yet. He didn't have time for that. He had to follow through with this little plan. Whatever happened afterwards was out of his control anyway.

That didn't stop the hysteric clawing at his chest whenever they stopped in traffic or at a red light. The city was packed during that time of day and his eyes kept on traveling to the clock.

"When will we be there?" he asked from behind his hand.

"At least another fifteen minutes."

That would mean that they were gone for nearly six hours then. Six fucking hours.

"Will you throw up in my car?"

He shook his head even though he wasn't sure. Everything inside of him wanted to get out, to burst open until there was nothing of him left. Throwing up would suck but it would be better than crying like a little child, but the images in his head weren't helping.

God, what if Rob had already disposed them somewhere? What if he had thrown what was left of them in front of the orphanage? What if Michael was already too late?

He closed his eyes tightly and tried not to think about it. Outside the window the city passed by, people and shops and buildings. A massive place and how would the Fakes even find Rob? He didn't know, he just knew that they had a better chance than him.

Eighteen minutes later the car stopped, and when Michael looked up he recognized the building. He threw the door open and was out of the vehicle before he could truly think about it and to his surprise the woman didn't even try to stop him. He wouldn't have stopped anyway, nothing would stop him now. Not his shaking legs, not the panic still clinging to him.

This time he walked into the main entrance of the building and hesitated, unsure if he really was right here. Whenever he had imagined the base of a criminal organization he had expected something dark and hidden away. Menacing shadows lurking about with knifes and guns.

The foyer he stepped in now was bright with natural light from the huge windows and the floor beneath was made out of dark parquet. Nobody was here besides a woman behind a desk, smiling at him now.

"May I help you?"

He stepped up to her but then didn't find his voice. Behind her in big letters on the wall was the name of a lawyers office and that wasn't right. Was he really at the Fakes base? It was the right building but last time he had come in from the carpark. Maybe he should get back out and check if he somehow got inside there?

His eyes caught the clock on the wall and that gave him the needed push. Nearly six hours.

"I want to see Jack."

The woman behind the desk blinked up to him. "Jack who?"

He didn't know. He didn't know her last name, he didn't know shit and he wanted to scream. Six hours.  _ Six hours! _

"Sir?"

He held up the black credit card, hoping that it would speed things up because he was running out of time.

The eyes of the woman widened for a moment before they grew cold. Had that been a wrong move?

"I don't think Miss Patillo is waiting for anyone right now. Do you have an appointment?"

So he was at the right place!

"No, but I need to speak to her."

"Miss Patillo is a very busy person. If you want to I can see if I can arrange an appointment for you though, Sir."

"I need to see her now!"

"Please keep your voice down or I'll have to ask you to leave."

He didn't have time for this. He didn't have time for these kind of games and when he looked up he found an elevator further back in the room. This was the right place and if he had to search for Jack himself he would.

"Sir!"

He marched over the wooden floor straight at the elevator. Behind him he could hear her stand up but if he had to he would take her down.

"We have an intruder!" she called and he bit his bottom lip.

"I just want t-" Something slammed into his back, sending him sprawling to the floor. He tried to push himself up but before he could there was someone sitting on top of him, a gun pressed against his head.

Where had they come from? There were suddenly two armed guys and the woman was also walking up to them now, gun in her hand while she was talking into her phone.

"Wait!" he protested and the gun just pushed down harder. It barely registered to him, his heart was beating too hard to really hear his own thoughts but all he knew was that time was running out. "I just want to talk to Jack! I talked with her before, please!"

"Hold still, boy."

But he couldn't. He tried to throw the man from him, to get up somehow. They couldn't stop him, not now! Not so close to his last hope, he had already wasted too much time for this not to work!

But the man above him just pushed him down and he was so much stronger than him. That was Michael's breaking point and he closed his eyes, sobbing pitifully. Why was this happening? Why did nobody listen to him or even try to help? Why did nobody understand that he had to save Ray and Gavin? He was just a kid, he couldn't fucking do it no matter how much he wanted to! What if they were hurt or dead and gone? He wouldn't be able to live with himself!

The people above him kept on talking to one another but he didn't listen. There was only white noise in his ears as he cried against the nice floor. He had to save them, he had to protect them. They were all he had left!

"It's you!" The voice reached him because it was familiar and he fought to lift his head, no matter about the gun pressed against it.

"Jeremy," he sobbed and Jeremy seemed alarmed at that.

"Is that the intruder? Are you kidding me?"

"Sir, he entered the building without permission."

"Get up from him. Let him go, he's just a kid!" He waved the people aside and they actually listened.

Michael sat up, gasping for breath and Jeremy actually crouched in front of him, a hand placed on his shoulder but before he could say a thing, Michael noticed the shadow behind him. It was the Vagabond, quiet and deadly as he had heard in stories, but now Michael didn't fear him. Quite the opposite, he had completely forgotten about the Vagabond and now his presence filled him with hope.

He was on his feet before someone could stop him and grasped the Vagabond's arms tightly.

"I need you to kill someone for me," he spat, voice shaking apart. He didn't care about that, he truly didn't anymore. His hand found the credit card and pushed it against the other's chest. "That's all I have right now but you can have it! You can have anything I own, you can have my fucking life but I need you to kill someone for me! I need him dead!"

The eyes of the Vagabond were blue, he hadn't noticed that before. They looked pale from behind the dark mask and it was hard to read in them, but the Vagabond was watching him, was watching him real close, and Michael just stared back.

No matter the cost, he would pay. He would pay fucking everything if it just meant-

Then the eyes switched to Jeremy behind him and Michael's heart sank. The Vagabond wouldn't do it, why bother with a stupid kid like him?

Michael lowered the credit card, his arms heavy as stone. Someone... anyone had to help!

"Jack," he sobbed and he didn't care that he was crying in front of all of them. It took too much out of him not to do it. "I need to- where's Jack?"

The hand on his back startled him and when he turned around it was just Jeremy. Without his sunglasses his eyes appeared big and he actually seemed... nearly concerned.

"Michael was it, right? Come with us, I'll take you to Jack."

He followed Jeremy down towards the elevator. His heart was beating wildly in his chest as if it wanted to jump right out but for the first time he dared to take a breath. He was at the right place and he was pretty sure Jack would help him, one way or another. Even now standing in the elevator, Jeremy at one side and the Vagabond at his other, he dared to calm down. His own shaking breaths sounded loud in the closed space and he just couldn’t get his body to stop shaking. At least he managed to not cry like a bitch anymore, and wiping some leftover tears with the back of his hand away, he noticed his reflection in the mirror on the wall. He looked wrecked and hysteric, his face flushed and eyes red.

Fuck.

The Vagabond reached into his pocket and offered him a damn tissue. It actually made him laugh just because of how fucked up this situation was but he took it anyway. When the elevator doors opened, Jeremy lead him out but Michael already knew the way to the spacious office. He would’ve barged straight in if the Vagabond wouldn’t have stopped him and so it was Jeremy who opened the door first.

"Jack? We got an issue."

And then Michael was back in the office where everything had turned to the worst, and to his surprise Jack actually recognized him, he saw it in her face. Before she could say a thing though, Michael pushed Jeremy aside to stop in front of her desk.

"You said this was a chance," he said and threw the credit card down. "But it fucked everything up!"

And he wanted to be strong, to be angry at her but the lump returned back to his throat.

"Michael?" She looked at him, her eyes wandering from his flushed face down to his arm that was still bandaged up, and her face darkened. "What did Rob do?"

"Rob thinks I sold him out in exchange for your money!"

He saw the realization dawn in her face before she gestured to the chair in front of the desk. Michael didn't want to sit down but his body felt weak and he nearly collapsed into it. Pulling out his phone he showed her the picture.

"He fucking took Gavin and Ray and he has them now. He has them and I don't know what he will do to them, so I-" His voice broke and he closed his eyes, trying to calm down. He had to explain, to get them to help him but right now he felt like someone was choking him. Six hours.

They were already dead, weren't they?

Jack took the phone from his hand and walked around the desk.

"Jeremy, take this to Matt. He can find out where Rob is."

"Of course."

"Ryan, get ready to take him out. I want to move out the moment we know his location."

"Got it."

Michael looked up then and when the door fell shut he was alone with Jack. She took a deep breath before getting back behind her desk.

"What happened, Michael?"

"He called the school to say he would pick them up and they just let them go!" Michael explained as calmly as he could, which wasn’t very calm. "That was around eleven o'clock. I wanted to pick them up around three but they were already gone!"

Jack glanced at the clock before pulling a gun from beneath the table. She put it down to pull on a pair of fingerless gloves before shoving the weapon into her back pocket.

"I'm sorry that happened, Michael," she assured him. "That wasn't my intention and I will fix it right now."

Sniffing Michael looked up to her but wasn't sure if he could believe her. Then her hand settled on his shoulder, squeezing.

"I'll bring those two back."

"Can you?"

"I promise."

He wanted to believe that, he really did but before he could make up his mind the door opened again.

"We got him. His phone is down by the docks," Jeremy said.

"What? Already?" Michael asked and stood but Jack pushed him right back into his chair.

"You stay here."

"Bu-"

"Jeremy will watch over yo-"

"No!" Michael interrupted her. "I want to come along! I want to fucking kill that motherfucker myself!"

That wasn't even true, he wasn't sure why he said it. It was the fear, he realized then. The fear of just sitting around here, doing nothing. Being as helpless as before.

It didn't matter because Jack didn't even bother answering. She threw a look towards Jeremy before leaving the office and when Michael made to follow her, Jeremy just shook his head.

"Leave her."

"But Rob's dangerous!"

That actually made Jeremy laugh. "You think a small fry like Rob could do shit about Jack Pattillo when she's angry? She's the fucking second in command, idiot."

Michael's face must have been especially funny because Jeremy snorted.

"Bet you didn't know that. Well, Rob fucked up big time. I think Jack is taking the Vagabond along to finish him off. They'll be done in no time. Come now."

Jeremy pulled at his arm and Michael just followed, feeling numb. It was all a bit too much right now.

"What if they are already dead?" he found himself saying and Jeremy hesitated before shrugging.

"Then at least Rob will have hell to pay. But don't think about that."

That was so much easier said than done when it was literally the only thing on his mind.

"You said the phone is by the docks?"

"Yeah, we could track back its signal."

"Doesn't mean that Rob has to be there though. Maybe he threw it away, maybe it's a trick or-"

"Michael," Jeremy interrupted him softly. "I don't think he's expecting that you can track him down in any way."

They entered a small sitting room and Michael let himself be pushed into one of the plush seats without any resistance.

"Can I bring you something? Are you hungry?"

Jeremy fell quiet after a single look from Michael before he huffed. "Fair enough. Will you be alright for a minute? I guess I should report what's happening."

"Go ahead." He watched as Jeremy left the room and felt a bit better thanks to that. He didn't want anyone looking at him, not after he had cried like a bitch in front of them. That wasn't something he usually did, and even though neither of them seemed to judge him, that didn't really help. A part of him was a bit embarrassed by that, but he didn't dwell on it. In the grand scheme of things that wasn't important.

If Rob was really at the docks it would take them nearly half an hour to get there. That probably didn't matter anymore. If Rob decided he wanted to see Gav and Ray dead, they would already be. They probably hadn't even made it longer than an hour and wasn't that better anyway? Wouldn’t it be worse if Rob had kept them for hours? So much time to hurt them.

Michael curled into himself in the plush seat and wanted to disappear into it. To disappear or be dead or move, do something. Help Jack and be there when they found Ray and Gavin. He needed to know and he also feared knowing.

How scared had they been getting dragged into that car? Ray had a big mouth, but his voice had betrayed him, right? Because Ray was fucking twelve years old, he was a fucking child. And Gav-

"You must be Michael."

He looked up, hadn't noticed the man stepping into the room and was a bit embarrassed by how he was cowering here. Quickly he sat upright but the man didn't seem to care.

"You're causing quite a ruckus around here."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. We like it lively here. I'm Geoff by the way." Geoff put a tray of sandwiches down for him and Michael pulled a face.

"I don't want to eat."

"But you should." Geoff sat down in another seat. His arms were covered in colorful tattoos, and something about following those artistic lines made Michael drowsy.

"The only thing keeping you going right now is probably adrenaline," Geoff went on. "You will be out like a light once that fades."

Who cared? It was better that way, he didn't have to face this reality then anymore.

"When we bring those two boys back you don't want to scare them because you collapsed right on the spot, do you?"

He softly shook his head but kept his mouth shut. He appreciated the gesture but if he was realistic he knew that he wouldn't see them again. They were long gone.

"Are those two your brothers?"

"We just live together."

"At that orphanage?" 

Michael looked up, surprised, but Geoff just shrugged. "It's my job to know things like that. Those two are so lucky to have someone like you to look out for them."

"Nobody else would," Michael found himself saying. "Nobody else cared."

"That's one of the problems with this city, buddy. Nobody cares."

"Because it's easier that way. Hard enough to look out for yourself."

"And still you chose differently. You  _do_ care," Geoff remarked and Michael had never thought about it like that. "That means you have a big heart, Michael. A lion’s heart. That's something valuable."

"Didn't do me any good, did it?"

"It kept you human," Geoff just said and Michael didn't know how to respond to that. Confused he let his eyes wander. Just like in Jack's office a big part of the wall was taken in by a window and he could see the shadows in the valley of skyscrapers. Everything was so big and scary and full of chaos.

They had survived out there for a while, and looking down at it now that sounded nearly impossible. The thought made tears shoot into his eyes and he had to grind his teeth to blink them away.

"Eat," Geoff said. "You need all the strength you have to be there for those two boys when they get here. That part of the fight is still ahead of you."

Turning back around Michael looked at the sandwiches and felt himself grow sick by the thought of food, but maybe that was actually hunger. He hadn't eaten since breakfast and Geoff was right, the day wasn't over. This day was only getting harder and right now he didn't feel ready for it. So he took one of the offered sandwiches if only to nibble on it for a bit.

Geoff's hand landed on his shoulder, squeezing. "Good choice, buddy."

 

Michael stayed in that room for nearly two hours. Two hours without any news and it was an eternity. Geoff left him after a while, but Jeremy sat down with him instead.  He wasn't very good with smalltalk and proceeded to dick around on his phone, showing Michael small videos or pictures he found funny. It was at least something to occupy his mind with, so Michael appreciated it because with each passing minute he felt his thoughts getting darker. He started to fear the news, and after a while his leg just started bouncing and he couldn't get it to stop. At least Jeremy didn't comment on it and Michael was glad for it. He was a mess and he knew it, no need for people to point it out.

Outside the window the shadows grew longer and Michael wished he had followed Jack along, if only to know what was happening. Surely they already found Ray and Gavin in one way or another and just didn't know how to tell him. He kinda expected Jeremy to get a message at some point, his phone ringing occasionally, but whatever messages it was, it either wasn't for Michael or Jeremy didn't dare to pass it on.

Still, when Jeremy suddenly sat up and asked him to follow him, Michael felt a deep dread come over him as if he hadn't waited for an eternity for any kind of news. Now though he was scared to face the consequences of his doing and he wasn't ready. Even after all this time he wasn't ready. And still he followed Jeremy out into the hallway even though his legs felt like sticks that couldn't quite carry his weight.

They were just in time to see the elevator opening and Jack stepping out. She didn't look too ruffled, not like she had been in a fight, and she even threw him a smile. Gavin was holding on to her hand, looking around shyly but when his eyes found Michael they grew big and round. He let go of Jack and came running towards him and Michael could barely react. His mind hadn't expected to see Gavin again, to see him just step out of the elevator as if nothing was wrong and when Gavin crashed into him, he stumbled back. Jeremy was still behind him, steadying him and finally Michael could react.

Sinking down on his knees, Gavin immediately wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled close. Michael could feel his little face hot against his shoulder as Gavin started to cry, big sobs that shook through his whole body, and Michael's hands hovered over him. He didn't dare to touch, to hurt or break him because this had to be a dream, this couldn't be real! But then he held on tight, had to feel that Gavin was here and moving and breathing.

"Oh God," he choked out while Gavin chanted his name, broken little sound that didn't seem to stop falling from his mouth.

But then the dread came back over him, thick and dark, and he looked up to Jack. Where was Ray? Oh God, where was Ray? That was an option that Michael hadn't even considered and he held Gavin so much closer.

He didn't dare to ask, fearing that it would be Gavin who would answer and the thought made him sick again. He could feel the bile in his throat, could feel the world spin and oh God, oh God, oh Go-

"-infirmary," he heard Jack say. "Just in the infirmary, Michael. He will be here right away."

Ray would be? He continued to stare at her, expecting the words to finally make sense in his head but before he could figure it out the elevator opened again. This time it was the Vagabond stepping outside with Ray in his arms. An exhausted looking Ray that had a nasty bruise on the half of his face that wasn't pressed into the Vagabond's shoulder and one of his arms in a sling.

The sob that was wrung from Michael's throat actually hurt and made his whole body shudder and no matter how dead on his feet Ray looked, once he heard it he perked up. Instantly he was fighting against the hold on him and the Vagabond set him down.

Michael held his arm out and Ray nearly threw him down when he smashed into him, but that was fine. It was all fine and Ray's hand clawed at his shirt and his other clawed at Gavin and Michael started to cry. He started to cry so violently that he didn't think he could ever stop.

They were alive. They were alive and here in his arms and not dead. They weren't dead and he buried his face in their shoulders as he wept here in some random hallway while strangers watched over them. But he didn't care. He didn't give a single fuck because they were alright.

They were all alright.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everything is weird," Ray said and shrugged. "But it's been like that for some time now. I don't know since when."  
> "Since I got the credit card?"  
> Ray thought about that for a while before he nodded.  
> "Do you think the credit card is haunted?"  
> "That might be the case."

Chapter 6

 

"I'm sorry, Michael," Gavin whispered. It was the dead of night and Michael hadn't been able to sleep. He was exhausted beyond all means, and when Jack had shown him a room to rest in, he had expected to be dead to the world in mere seconds. In the beginning, he nearly drifted off, but he hadn't dared.

Gavin and Ray were in the same room as him, each occupying one of the four beds and he had to watch over them, had to make sure they could sleep. With Ray, it hadn't been much of a problem. The boy was done for and after some pain killers, he appeared far away and dozy. Michael had laid him down and Ray was asleep ever since then. He hadn't even moved a muscle yet.

Gavin had crawled into Michael's bed and was now pressed to his front. That was good, that way Michael could keep an eye on Ray across the room and feel Gavin's heartbeat, could hear him breathe.

Both of them were alive.

"I didn't want to go with this man. I really didn't but our teacher said that the man was working for the orphanage and that we had to go with them. I knew that wasn't the case but they just wouldn't listen."

"I know, Gav." Michael brushed some blonde hair out of Gavin's face. They had one light still on, neither of them wanting to sleep in complete darkness. "I went to pick you up and the lady at the gate, you remember her, right? She mentioned that you two didn't seem to want to follow along."

"We really didn't!" Gavin assured him. "She was watching it happen and Ray tried to tell her that we wanted to wait for you but she just... she just didn't do anything!"

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you."

But Gavin couldn't stop talking. He hadn't since laying down and Michael wasn't sure if that was okay. Something about Gavin's wide eyes unnerved him but he wanted to be patient.

"Why didn't she help us, Michael? I thought she was nice!"

"She didn't know better."

"Who are those people who got us out?"

Michael hesitated but he was too tired to think of an excuse. "They helped me before."

"One of them is the Vagabond. I recognized him from the news," Gavin blabbered on. "I was really scared when he came to get us but he's really strong!" Finally, there was something other than blank horror in Gavin's eyes, something that was nearly admiration. "He picked me and Ray up no problem and carried us! I wish he hadn't worn that mask though. It's scary."

Michael nodded and leaned his head against Gavin's. Ray still laid there unmoving but Michael could see him breathe. The bruise on his cheek looked dark even in the little light they had in here and whenever Michael saw it his heart sank.

"They broke his arm. I heard the bone snap," Gavin informed him, and Michael had to fight not to shiver. "There was this other guy who also drove the car and he pulled at us to get us in that room but Ray was fighting him. Ray even bit him! It had to be really hard because the guy screamed and let go an-" Gavin stopped, and Michael was nearly glad for it, only that he felt Gavin trembling now. Looking down to him he saw how the boy was fighting with tears.

"Hey, Gavvers. It's okay."

"Ray's fast," Gavin cried. "He could've run away then but he tried to get me free as well and that's when Rob caught him and broke his arm. He just twisted until the bone snapped without even stopping. As if it didn't hurt!"

"Don't think about this anymore."

"But-" Gavin shook himself. His legs were searching beneath the blankets and Michael let them wrap around his own. "Ray got hurt because he wanted to protect me. If he would've run away instead..."

Michael shushed him until Gavin fell silent. He wanted to rub his arms to comfort him but stopped himself. There were angry red marks and clear handprints on Gavin's skin from where he had been grabbed and Michael didn't want to hurt him.

Otherwise, he was fine, scared but fine. Ray had it worse but a broken arm was okay. They could deal with a broken arm and thinking about the alternative was worse.

"Many kids break their arms," Michael told him. "But it heals super quickly as well."

"Ray was in pain thanks to me," Gavin mumbled but wiped his own tears away. "I wanna get him a present or something."

"That sounds like a good idea, Gavvers."

Gavin nodded to himself and finally stayed quiet for a moment. It gave Michael a second to think, to catch up with his own thoughts and he wanted to tell him how sorry he was. That it was his fault, not Gavin's that Ray's arm was broken. This whole damn situation was his fault!

But it was late and he was too exhausted from guilt and worry. Also, it was warm beneath the blanket and with Gavin pressed so close to him and the bed was really soft, softer than any other he had ever slept in.

It should be easy to fall asleep but both of them stayed awake, deep in thought. A part of Michael wanted to know what Gavin was thinking about, what he had seen today, but he also feared what he would find out.

Gavin was quietly picking at Michael's shirt that he should probably throw out after today. He hadn't even thought about showering and now it was too late. They just had to deal with it tonight.

"Rob is dead now," Gavin said after a while. "I'm a bit happy about that. That's bad, isn't it? For me to think something like that."

"I don't think so. Are you happy that he's dead or that he can't hurt you anymore?"

Gavin thought about that for a moment. "The second. I'm happy that he can't hurt any of us anymore."

"Me too." God, how glad he was. He had expected some form of guilt because Rob had been killed thanks to him, and maybe that would come later but right now all he felt was a big relief. Now things could go back to the way they were, things could get better again.

Brushing through Gavin's hair he threw another look over to Ray. Still asleep, still breathing.

"Let's sleep," he told Gavin and the other nodded. Cuddling closer together they finally closed their eyes.

 

Michael woke up to voices. That wasn't too unusual, sometimes Gavin and Ray sneaked into his room to scare him awake and it was them he heard talking but when he opened his eyes, he didn't recognize the room.

When the memories of the day before rushed back to him he sat up in bed, alarmed and sick. It was like a nightmare that didn't seem to end, but it had ended and now they were safe. They were at the Fakes’ base and he could see the other two right next to him.

Ray was propped up on his pillows and Gavin sat at the edge of his bed, both of them now quiet and looking at him. The light was off and only the filtered sunlight shone into the room. It was pale and gray because it was so early.

"Morning," Ray greeted him, waving with his healthy hand, and Michael was out of his bed and next to him in a heartbeat.

"Ray? Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"It kinda tickles a little," Ray told him and shrugged with one shoulder. "Nothing I can't take."

That wasn't quite true, he knew Ray well enough to tell that he was in pain but it was bearable. He was acting tough for Gavin's sake and Michael was glad for it.

"Will Ray get an actual cast?" Gavin asked him. "I want to draw on it!"

"What do you want to draw on it?"

"I haven't decided yet, I have too many ideas!" Gavin beamed up at him and Michael felt his concern ease a little. They could still smile and joke after everything. Rob had scared them but not broken them, no way.

There was a knock on the door that made them all look up. It was Jeremy who peeked inside and then held up a bag quite sheepishly. "Breakfast?"

 

It wasn't a simple breakfast, it was a full banquet. For whatever reason Jeremy had ordered everything from waffles over bacon and eggs to full out burgers around the city and Michael had to help him set it all down on the table, bewildered by the sheer amount of it.

"I didn't know what you guys liked so I just got whatever I could think of," Jeremy defended himself under the judging eyes of both Ray and Gavin.

"You're weird," Ray told him plainly, and to add salt to the wound Gavin cocked his head.

"Why is your hair like that? It looks dumb."

Jeremy gasped, hand reaching up to his brightly colored hair.

"Don't you guys know who I am? I'm Rimmy Tim!"

Michael could've told him that it would only make things worse because as always when they heard that name Ray and Gavin broke into fits of giggles.

Shocked, Jeremy turned to him. "The kids are making fun of me!"

That made Michael snort but he quickly ushered Gavin and Ray to sit down. "Now now, don't be mean to Jeremy. After all, he brought us food."

"Fine."

Gavin and Ray began to dig in and Michael also joined them. After yesterday he didn't expect to be hungry at all but actually, he was starved. Besides the sandwiches Geoff had brought him he hadn't eaten a thing, and now he tried his hardest to not wolf everything down he could reach.

Jeremy joined them, holding an easy small talk and inviting them over once he found out that they didn't own any games.

"We have like a whole room just for that! There are like every type of games you can imagine in there!"

And just like that, he had turned from the laughing stock to Ray's big hero, and Michael was happy about that. He had owned a Gameboy once, the old heavy one, and owned was a big word for snatching it from the actual owner, but at that moment he had wanted nothing more. It had been before Gavin had shown up and he remembered how he and Ray had played Tetris for hours. Of course, it had been stolen once the other kids in the orphanage had found out about it, but it had been fun while it lasted.

Jeremy's mindless chatting also served to put their minds off of everything that had happened yesterday and even Michael forgot it for a while. In those few precious moments, he nearly felt normal, sitting around and having breakfast with someone around his own age, talking about mundane things. Not scared of getting hurt or worried about money.

At least until Jack stepped inside.

"Michael? Can I talk to you for a moment?"

He got up and went to follow her outside when a new feeling of dread came over him. Leaving Ray and Gavin alone felt wrong and he stopped at the door to turn around.

Both of them were watching him, stuffing waffles into their mouths and Michael knew they were safe here. They were safe and Jeremy would probably look out for them for the time being, would maybe take them to play video games and Michael didn't have to worry about any of that. He did though and he wasn't sure if he could shake it off.

"Michael?" Jack asked again and he forced himself to close the door behind him.

The living quarters they had stayed in was a couple floors underneath Jack's office and when they stood in the elevator, Michael could feel her gaze on him. He wasn't sure what she wanted exactly and rather kept his eyes on his feet. He was just wearing socks, hadn't thought about slipping into his shoes after waking up and now that he knew who Jack truly was, what role she played in this city, he felt even smaller than before.

"Do you feel ready to talk about what happened yesterday?" she asked him while leading him into her office. The place was nearly familiar by now but he hadn't been in here at this time of day. This early he could see the pastel sky stretching over Los Santos, and it looked pretty. Prettier than he had seen the city in a long time.

"I'm not sure," he admitted. Honestly, as relieved as he was at some point he had become embarrassed. Embarrassed for being so helpless and crying in front of everyone. That wasn't important and he knew that but he still couldn't look Jack in the eyes. Instead, he reached for his wallet to pull out the credit card and then had to laugh.

"That's probably stupid because it's actually your money but it's all I have to repay you for now. I really don't know what else I can offer y-"

"What are you doing, Michael?" Jack interrupted him and he lowered his hand again.

"I don't know," he admitted and wanted to laugh again. Wasn't that true for his entire life? "It's just... you brought them back. I couldn't have done it and you went out there an-"

"It was my fault that you got in the situation in the first place," Jack said. "It should be me who should pay you back, and I will once I’ve checked on some things, but most of all I wanted to apologize."

Now Michael stared at her and she looked honest. That was so strange, he didn't think he had ever seen an adult who had apologized, least of all to someone like him.

"What happened was awful and I want to assure you that it wasn't my intention," she went on as if she had to explain herself. "I knew that Rob was awful, but he was such a small fish in our system that I didn't pay closer attention to him. That's not really my job but that's barely an excuse. If it hadn't been for me none of you would've gotten in such a dangerous situation."

"You are the second in command of the Fakes. Why are you apologizing to me?"

Now it was Jack who seemed surprised before she laughed.

"Because it's the right thing to do, Michael. Apologizing is actually the least to pay you back."

She put a hand on top of his, pushing the credit card into his palm. "Keep this money, it's yours. Not only that, if you give me the sizing of you guys I will make sure that you will be provided with new clothes. Don't worry about anything like that again, I will take care of it."

And now he nearly cried again. This whole situation was just too overwhelming and he still expected a trap, some kind of catch of this whole deal because that was just how this world worked. But something about Jack's hand on his made him want to believe her and she had kept her word until now, right? She had given him the money and she had brought both Gavin and Ray back. What if she wasn't lying right now?

"I can't-" he began only to fall short of anything to say. Pushing his free hand against his forehead he tried to understand, to decide if he should be waiting for the catch or just be happy. Maybe they deserved it after everything, maybe now his hard work was paying off but that couldn't be, right? That was something that he had told himself to keep going but not something he had actually believed.

Now Jack squeezed his hand once more before letting go and leaning back in her seat.

"Robert Dwyer is dead and won't harm you anymore," she continued and her nearly motherly tone was gone. She sounded more businesslike now and Michael was actually glad for that. It gave him a chance to compose himself.

"I know. Gavin said that."

"We made absolutely sure that those two didn't see a thing. Ryan got them out of there as quickly as possible," Jack went on and that thought hadn't even occurred to Michael. "Robert locked them in a small back room and we haven't found any evidence that they were molested or abused in any form. Granted that is a possibility, but by the looks of everything the worst that happened was Ray's broken arm."

Oh God, hopefully. Hopefully nothing worse and he knew why Jack told him that.

"I'll try and talk to them about that," he found himself saying and suddenly his breakfast felt heavy in his stomach.

"We figured they would rather talk about that with you but I think they got lucky, Michael. Robert wanted you." She folded her hands on the table. "If you would have gone there alone yesterday I don't think you would've gotten out of there. Maybe Robert would've gotten rid of them then as well so I'm very glad you came to us instead."

"Sorry for making such a scene," he mumbled but Jack just laughed.

"You really don't have to worry about that at all. What you did was not only very smart but also brave. Geoff quite liked that about you as well, he didn't stop talking about it yesterday. He will probably want to talk to you soon."

That made Michael frown, but he didn't ask further. The little talk right here had already drained him and Jack had to be able to tell, because she huffed.

"It's okay. I just wanted to make sure you know all that and if you need anything else please don't hesitate to let me know."

"It's fine, really-" But before he could finish the sentence she was already shaking her head and he didn't fight her. Instead, he smiled to himself and something calm settled in his mind. He couldn't quite tell what it was but it had something to do with her. She was in control and she stood to her words and that just eased something in him.

"Thank you, Jack."

 

Before he returned to the room they had been provided with he took the opportunity to shower. The bathroom at the base was so different than the one in the orphanage, not just plain white, but there was actual color in the room. It also wasn't dirty and when Michael put on the water it got warm instantly. The best though was the fact that it was a room he could just lock. Back at home there were cabins but there were just curtains separating him from everyone else just walking in and some idiots always found it funny to pull them away.

That wouldn't happen here and for the first time, he took the time to enjoy the shower. He turned the water as hot as he could take and watched as it colored his skin bright red. That was fine though because it washed the filth and sweat and fear away and he just sat down, letting the water soothe his body and mind.

A part of him wanted to hurry, to push himself and return to Gavin and Ray, but now he couldn't move. Not when it was so warm and even after sitting there for minutes the water remained hot. For now, he just sat there, head lowered and his hair plastered to his skull. He didn't worry, not right now, not when he was so warm and he was so tired after everything and he stayed seated there until his skin started to protest against the temperature.

When he finally stepped out he was red all over but couldn't bring himself to care. He felt clean like all the bad luck had just washed away and most of all his head was silent. It wasn't turning in circles anymore, around and around with images and could-have-beens. Sure, it would come back but for now, he relished in it.

When he stepped back inside their room he only found Jeremy in there, stacking plates.

"Ray is getting his cast. It shouldn't take too long," he explained before Michael could ask.

"I see." He debated if he should hurry down into the infirmary before deciding against it. Instead, he moved to help Jeremy clean up the table.

"What do I owe you for all that food?"

Jeremy just snorted at him and didn't even bother answering. For a moment Michael wanted to get pissed off but then he let it go.

"How old are you, Jeremy?"

"Seventeen, going onto eighteen."

"Bu-"

"Ramsey didn't get me in that business," he said. "I've been in this shit since I was probably... twelve? Around that time, hard to get out once you're as deep in as me."

Michael threw him a quick glance. Twelve? As old as Ray and Gavin.

"You were just a kid back then."

"I was a fucking hungry kid so you gotta do what you gotta do." He held open the bag so that Michael could throw the take out boxes inside. "Ramsey kept me out of the streets and makes sure I don't go on dangerous jobs. Even though I could totally take it!"

He winked at Michael. "Anyway, thanks for the help. I gotta get to work now but make sure to call me if you need stuff. Jack kinda asked me to keep an eye on you."

Michael nodded and watched as Jeremy took the trash and left the room. Twelve years old, while that wasn't unheard off, knowing that it had happened to Jeremy made him sad.  Nobody had protected him or shown him the right way, and Michael knew that it could've happened to Ray and Gavin as well. He had stopped that, and for once he felt something like pride, like he had done at least that right.

Still, this also brought up some other things and he sat down on one of the beds. Ramsey had kept Jeremy away from the street and given him a job here.

Would that happen to them as well? Would they stay here and work for the Fakes? Maybe this was all just a big trick to get new members for the crew, young and dependable enough to make sure they didn't run off.

He wouldn't let that happen to Ray or Gavin but... but if Ramsey expected that, if that would be a way to repay them all for yesterday, Michael would do it. It didn't look like the worst thing, at least it looked like Jeremy had it good, but still a bit scary.

And he didn't want to think of scary things like the future right now, not with the warmth of the shower still in his bones. Ray and Gavin had to be back soon and then they had to talk, really talk about what happened yesterday and he needed all his strength for that.

 

He must have fallen asleep while waiting. When he woke up the sun shone brightly but someone had pulled the blinds halfway down. Looking around he found the other two beds unmade and with a worn down pair of shoes in front of them.

Ray and Gavin had been here and had dug through a pile of new clothes at the foot of their bed. Where were they now?

Normally that thought would send him into a panic, but not right now. Right now he felt too calm, had slept too deeply for that, and for a while he just laid there and watched dust dance in the sunbeams. Wherever Ray and Gavin were, they shouldn't be in danger, and God, he was so tired. So exhausted after yesterday and the short night that he wasn't sure he could move a limb.

When he finally forced himself to get up he also found an assortment of new clothes next to his bed. Thank God, because his old ones really needed a wash. Once he was dressed he stepped out of the room but then didn't know where to go. He hadn't explored the base properly yet and he didn't plan to. With his luck he would just walk into something super secret or whatever. Surely Jeremy had taken Gavin and Ray to that game room he had talked about but he didn't know where that was and he sure as hell wouldn't bother Jack or anyone currently working to find out. So he lingered a bit awkwardly in the hallway before he heard a high pitched laugh that could only come from Gavin.

Following the noises, he opened a door close by and felt his heart stop.

It wasn't Jeremy or Jack who sat around the table with Ray and Gavin, but the Vagabond himself, dressed up in his scary mask and at least not all in leather, no he had left the jacket somewhere which didn't help much. Now his muscles were so much more visible and by God, he could probably pick up one of the two and break them in half.

Ray and Gavin didn't seem to think about that or in what kind of danger they were in right now. After all, that was the most wanted person in Los Santos! But no, those two idiots sat next to him and were playing some kind of board game.

A board game! With the Vagabond!

Michael wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"Michael, you're awake!" Gavin informed him and that made Ray also look up.

"Dude, Michael! I got a cast, you still have to write on it!" He held his arm up as if one could overlook the white cast around it. "I already got Gavin, Jeremy, and Ryan to write on it. Ryan even drew a little mask!"

"Ray wouldn't let me draw a rabbit on it..."

"Because rabbits are dumb. I can't run around with a rabbit on my arm!" Ray threw him a glance as if to ask him if he could believe this guy and Michael just gave him a half-hearted smile. His eyes stayed on the Vagabond who was just sitting there, also watching him.

It was unnerving, those cold blue eyes beneath the mask and Michael could feel his heartbeat pick up. To see this man close to the two of them made him want to grab them and pull them away, bring them somewhere safe, but that would be dumb. The Vagabond had helped save them yesterday, Gavin himself had told him that they had been carried out by him.

And fuck, the Vagabond had given him a damn tissue as well.

So Michael forced himself to stay calm and step closer.

"Does it hurt?" he asked Ray and ran a hand through his dark hair. He had also taken a shower and looked way more lively now that he grinned up to Michael.

"Not really. It's just super heavy but Ryan said it's like pumping weights. When this thing gets off I'll have super strength!" He flexed his arm to show his nonexistent muscles and to Michael's horror, the Vagabond chuckled about that. Or rather Ryan because apparently both Gavin and Ray were on first name basis with him. Okay.

"Ray, it's your turn next."

"Alright, alright."

After some hesitation, Michael sat down with them on the desk. He didn't know the board game they were playing and couldn't tell who was winning or not but he also didn't really care. Opposite of him Ryan sat and watched him closely and Michael wasn't sure what that meant if he should stare back or pretend he didn't notice. What was the other expecting from him?

He just continued to watch Ray roll the dice and then pass them on to Gavin. There really was a little sketch of a mask on his cast and something about that made Michael nearly laugh out loud. What the fuck was going on here? And as if that wasn't weird enough, the Vagabond started to talk.

"Are you alright?"

It took Michael a moment to even register that it was the Vagabond because he hadn't really heard his voice before, and then another moment to get that it was directed at him. Even Ray and Gavin turned towards him now because he just stared at Ryan, not answering, so he kicked himself.

"I'm fine."

Ryan nodded and then took the dice from Gavin to roll them himself. They continued to play and soon enough both Gavin and Ray were back to their usual chatter. Michael kept a close eye on the Vagabond, sure that he would get bored or pissed off at them soon enough. Most adults usually did because when Gavin and Ray started they were hard to stop.

They talked about superheroes and the few comics they had at home, the music on Ray's phone and the posters in their room. Even school and who there sucked and who was alright.

Through it all Ryan sat there listening and sometimes even asking to clarify things. He did so in a deep and calm voice that even made Michael relax slowly. He didn't want to; after all, it was the Vagabond! This man in front of him was fucking terrifying and Michael had heard way too many horror stories about him, but right now he didn't seem so scary. Even with that creepy skull mask on and probably a weapon hidden on his body somewhere. Not that he needed one, Michael was sure he could kill them with his bare hands if he wanted to.

But no, he just listened and continued playing their little board game. Michael was actually pretty sure he was letting Ray win on purpose or Ryan just really, really sucked at board games.

When Ray finally won and the two boys packed the game away into a cupboard those blue eyes were back on him, and Michael stiffened. Ryan leaned forward and lowered his voice and Michael could only imagine how many people had been in this situation with the Vagabond and had actually survived.

"Are you really okay? Takes a lot out of someone."

Dumbfounded, Michael stared at him and Ryan shrugged. "Just saying. If you need some time I can look after these two." He actually sounded a bit awkward and now Michael was totally confused. Maybe he had died yesterday or he was still asleep and was dreaming. Had something been in his drink? Had he been drugged without him noticing?

And the longer he didn't answer, the more awkward Ryan grew, up to the point that Michael actually felt sorry for him.

"I'm really fine," he found himself saying, and maybe Ryan actually just wanted to be nice. Yeah, because he wasn't a hitman or something like that. "Thank you but um... I don't want to keep you from your work today."

"I actually have no hits today so it's all good."

No hits, by God. So the Vagabond didn't have to kill today, instead, he sat here with them, playing fucking Monopoly. Okay, right.

It was so fucking weird that Michael actually couldn't help but laugh. Seriously, that was just the icing on the cake and he was laughing the Vagabond straight in the face. Did he have a death wish?

Only that he was pretty sure he saw those blue eyes crinkle, and that was just plain hilarious. He began to laugh louder and everything was fine. For a few seconds, he actually felt good and then he felt something hysterical dripping into his voice. Something that should better stay down but he couldn't stop it and he laughed and laughed and couldn't get himself to shut up.

An arm shot out to grasp him tightly and that was grounding. The Vagabond shook him a little and Michael snapped out of it. Thankfully because in the back of the room he could see Gavin and Ray, staring at him.

He didn't want to worry them, that was the least he wanted to do but the laughter was still bubbling beneath the surface and he knew he would start again if he didn't swallow it down now. Would laugh until he cried or threw up and so he pressed his lips together to keep it inside.

"You have every right to freak out as much as you want to, but not in front of them. They need you to be strong," the Vagabond told him and Michael knew that was true but it was so hard. Right now it was so hard because he was confused and scared and didn't know what would happen next. How should he? His brain was still trying to catch up to what had happened!

Ryan's hands dug into his arms nearly painfully but Michael appreciated the pressure. He focused on it, not on the worried looks he was getting but the slight pain until the laughing bubble burst. Then he nodded and Ryan let him go right away.

"Thank you," he muttered and meant it.

"Don't worry about it." Ryan turned towards the other two. "Let's look for a game that Michael can also join in."

They played until Ryan went to bring them dinner and then they played even longer, something that they had never done before. Usually, they didn't have the time or Michael was away, and even though the orphanage had an assortment of board games there were always some pieces missing.

It was... fun. Michael hadn't expected it to be so fun and he couldn't help but forget about everything for some precious hours. Ray and Gavin were the same, laughing and making up own ridiculous rules that didn't quite help the game.

By the time it grew dark they were all tired in a good way and even Michael wished the Vagabond a good night. It still reminded him what his life had turned out to be, but he couldn't be bothered by it. Once they returned to their room, Gavin sneaked into his bed and Michael joined him once he tucked Ray in.

The both of them were out like a light and Michael was sure that he would lay awake again but even though he had slept through a good portion of the day, he didn't remember much before he also fell asleep.

He woke up once he noticed a movement in the room. They had left on a light like last night and it helped Michael to orientate himself. It also showed him Ray out of his bed and huddling in the corner furthest away from them.

Something wasn't right.

He carefully rolled Gavin away from him and actually managed so without waking him. It let him get up and once the bed creaked, Ray looked up. His face was flushed, he was embarrassed because Michael had noticed but he was also shaking.

Michael grasped Ray's blanket on the way to him and then sat down by his side.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"I don't know. I was just really scared when I woke up and didn't know where I was," Ray told him. He was picking on his cast and not looking at Michael directly.

"It's weird being here, isn't it?"

"Everything is weird," Ray said and shrugged. "But it's been like that for some time now. I don't know since when."

"Since I got the credit card?"

Ray thought about that for a while before he nodded.

"Do you think the credit card is haunted?"

"That might be the case."

They fell silent and Michael used the time to wrap the blanket around both of them. It wasn't like it was cold in the room, but it just felt more comfortable. They sat in the corner of the room, right at the edge of the small island of light.

"I lied when I said that my arm doesn't hurt," Ray whispered then. "Sometimes it hurts really badly and where Rob punched me as well, but when I say that Gavin will feel bad."

They both looked towards the bed Gavin was still sleeping in but the boy didn't move. He looked small laying alone there and with the blanket pulled up to his chin.

"Gavin said you protected him. That you had the chance to flee but didn't."

Ray turned to him with a frown on his face. "I couldn't just leave Gavin there. He was already so scared."

Michael smiled and wrapped an arm around Ray's shoulder. "That was very, very brave of you, Ray."

"It didn't feel like it." Ray chewed on his bottom lip before leaning against Michael, lowering his voice even more. "A part of me wanted to just run away. I wanted to get away and home."

"Of course you did."

"I would've left Gavin alone then though."

"But you didn't," Michael reminded him and jostled him a little. "That's what makes you so brave. You tried to save Gav as well."

Ray fell silent as he thought about it and Michael let him mull it over. Honestly, he was immensely proud of Ray for trying to save Gavin even though at first that thought had scared him. If at least Ray had managed to make it out things could've turned out differently and Ray wouldn't have been hurt. But to imagine Gavin trapped somewhere alone? It would've been a nightmare that he might not have come back from.

"I was very scared yesterday," Ray admitted. "I was so fucking scared, Michael. I knew that car wasn't from the orphanage, that it was a trick, but the people at school didn't listen. I tried to run away then but they kept a close eye on us, even made some joke that usually kids wanted nothing more than get out of school. Neither of them listened and I just couldn't believe that they just put me and Gavin in that car! Like, how often have we heard that we shouldn't go with strangers?"

Ray huffed annoyedly, but it was fake. Just a moment later he shivered again and Michael squeezed him closer. "Rob wasn't in the car, it was his buddy, but I already knew what would happen. I told Gavin to stay calm because I'm the older one, right? I had to look out for him."

"You did very good, Ray. Actually, you did fantastic,"  Michael assured him, but he didn't think the boy believed him. Quite the opposite, Ray continued to gnaw on his lip and Michael feared he would bite it bloody if he wasn't stopped and then he understood. He understood what Ray wanted to hear, and if he was honest he also yearned for those words. To hear them over and over again until he believed them.

"It wasn't your fault, Ray."

The boy took a deep breath only to huff it out again. "If I fought harder at school maybe we could've run away. Or if I tried to explain our situation bette-"

"The adults fucked up, not you. The teacher should've made sure that those people were from the orphanage, they should've called to make sure and under no circumstances should they have just left you alone with a stranger." He jostled him a little as if that would help to snap him out of it. "You're still a kid, Ray. You did everything you could've done to get out of it, to keep yourself and Gavin safe."

Ray pressed his lips together until they were just a fine white line and Michael pressed him so hard into his side that he was sure it would hurt him. But Ray just looked so small at that moment, sitting here in the corner of a room that wasn't theirs, a blanket wrapped around them and the cast that looked bright white even with all the signatures on it.

"I was really scared he would hurt us like on the news and in the papers," Ray said quietly. "You aren't supposed to get into the car of a stranger because then they will take you and hurt you and throw you away when they're through with you. So when we were pulled out of that car and I didn't recognize the place... I thought we would die. I thought we wouldn't leave that room again when he shoved us in there and I got really, really scared. Rob locked the door so that we couldn't get out and I stared at the door all the time. I knew it would open at some point and he would come in again and I didn't want him to. I didn't want to be there."

He started to cry now. Big tears that ran down his cheeks to drop from his chin and Michael felt a lump in his own throat.

"When I heard the gunshots I thought it was you. That you were coming with a gun and I told Gavin that, but Gavin said that the gun was gone. So then I thought Rob was shooting you and that you would also die and I didn't know what to do. I just stood there and cried and screamed and wanted to rip the door out of its hinges but I also wanted the door to stay close. Outside it was dangerous and I couldn't do shit but I hated just sitting there."

Michael laid a hand on Ray's cheek, wiping the stray tears away and Ray quickly hid his face in his chest. He was full out weeping now, but tried to do so as quietly as possible to not wake Gavin. Oh, how hard it must have been in that situation! To try and stay calm and look out for Gavin even though he had been so deathly scared as well!

"When the door opened it was the Vagabond and I didn't understand that. I recognized the mask from the news, but why would the Vagabond bother with us kids?" Sniffing, Ray tried to wipe his face. "But he was very nice actually. He told us that you had sent him and that he would take us to you. I was so glad, Michael. I was so fucking glad that I didn't even think that it could be a trap or something. I just wanted to get out."

"You did the right thing," Michael told him. His own voice sounded off and a tight feeling of guilt had wrapped around his chest. The fear and horror Ray had to go through just because of him, just because he had fucked up. How could he ever repay them? How could he even start to fix this?

"It's over, Ray and I'm so happy that it's over. That shouldn't have happened but it did and now... now we'll try to forget, okay?"

Ray nodded into his chest and Michael dropped a kiss on top of his head.

"I'm so sorry that happened. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"If it's not my fault then it's also not yours," Ray told him, but of course it wasn't that easy. A nice thought anyway.

"We all got out of it, that's the most important thing. Your arm will heal and that cast will be gone and you will be alright again."

"Okay."

"Gavin as well. He's so thankful for you because you looked out for him and I am as well. He was really scared just like you but you two made it."

Ray huffed but didn't talk back. He looked more exhausted now and that made sense. It had to be the middle of the night, and Michael felt tired as well.

"What will happen to us now? When do we go home again?"

That was a question hadn't faced yet. He should have asked Jack right away but he was scared of the answer, even though he didn't know what would be worse. Getting sent back to that plain orphanage they called home or to stay here in this strange sort of prison.

Sure, it was nice here, but this wasn't a future for them. None of them were going to school and this room was fine to sleep in but nothing more. People around them were working and it wouldn't take long until they realized that the kids in the building were bothersome. Also, Michael wasn't sure how secure this all was. What if someone wanted to attack the Fakes? They couldn't stay here in the belly of the beast.

"I'll check on that tomorrow, alright?" he promised, and Ray yawned. That at least lightened the mood and Michael chuckled.

"Let's get to bed."

"That sounds good." He tucked the boy in, but before he could lay down in his own bed, Ray snatched his hand.

"I really like you, Michael," he said, face flushed in embarrassment and Michael couldn't help but be surprised. Usually, Ray wasn't so open about his feelings but after everything, Michael was glad to hear it.

"I also like you," he assured him. "If we would be sappy I would even say I love you."

"But we're not sappy."

"Exactly."

Ray giggled. "Good night, Michael."

"Good night."

 

When Jeremy told him to see Geoff, Michael had been slightly confused. Geoff was the guy who had brought him sandwiches and since then Michael hadn't seen him anymore. The guy probably just wanted to check up on him but then the elevator took them even higher until they reached the last floor.

Jeremy gestured him to get out and Michael found himself in front of a door made out of dark wood. Just that fact made it look imposing and slowly Michael began to understand who Geoff was. Geoffrey Ramsey, the leader of the Fakes. Back then he hadn't thought about it because there were more important matters at hand, but Ramsey had sat next to him to calm him down, had brought him food, and now? What could he possibly want from him now?

Only one way to find out. Michael knocked on the door and stepped inside once he heard an answer.

Whatever he had expected from the office, it wasn't exactly this. There were books, more books than Michael had ever seen in a single place. The shelves took in two whole walls with a pair of comfy looking chairs in one corner.

His eyes were immediately drawn to the window that took in one complete side of the room. In front of that was a huge desk with a PC and a bunch of files on it. Geoff sat behind it but got up now.

"Hey Michael, let's have a quick chat." He gestured to the comfy looking chairs, but Michael couldn't move. With the sun in his back, Geoff looked a lot taller than him and the black business suit did the rest.

He was a kid in front of one of the most powerful men in the city.

"I didn't realize who you were, Sir." Because it had to be so rude. He couldn't even truly remember what he had talked about with Geoff, but it had to be boring and insignificant for that man.

"Don't call me Sir, I'm not that old." Geoff threw him another glance before huffing, "Well to you I probably am but seriously, it's all good. There were other things on your mind at that moment." Again he nodded towards the chairs and finally Michael moved to sit down.

Geoff sat down opposite of him.

"Well, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Mister Ramsey. Thank you so much for... everything, really."

"Just Geoff is fine, and you really don't need to thank me. Jack screwed up, so this is the least we can do." He grinned. "Actually thank you for that. I will remind her of that for the rest of her life. Finally a screw up from her, I didn't think I'd see the day."

It didn't sound hostile, rather like the teasing of old friends, and Michael smiled. He hadn't even thought about the possibility that Jack might get in trouble for this, but he was glad that it wasn't the case. By the way she kept an eye on them even during her busy schedule it was clear how guilty she felt.

"Michael, I'm sure you understand that you can't stay here for much longer."

Michael's smile fell and he hoped it wasn't as obvious. Of course, he had to go, he had expected that already. Why was he so disappointed to hear those words now?

"This is hardly a place for children and even though we try to keep this base safe, we can't guarantee that it will stay this way."

"I understand."

Geoff's gaze rested on him for a moment as if to ask him if he really did understand but he did. Staying here to rest had been nice but it wasn't their place. This was a world they didn't belong in, where they could play all day and not worry about food. Where clean clothes were just waiting for them after a long day without fear.

Geoff turned around to pick up a newspaper from a little table close by and held it out to him. Michael recognized the picture of Ray and Gavin right away, even though they were shoved into a corner of the page like a bothersome footnote.

Two boys missing, said the headline, and Michael didn't bother reading through the short article. He had seen too many of that kind already.

"We are just causing trouble, right?" he asked, and even though Geoff shook his head, he didn't believe him.

"I'm just saying that people are looking for you guys."

"Those pictures will disappear by the end of the week. Both Ray and Gavin have no one who will look for them. Like this, the orphanage can say that they tried to find them and can blame the school for not paying close enough attention. It's not the first time it's happened."

"That's awful."

"It's what it is." Michael shrugged. "They didn't even mention me, right? I'm too old, so I'm not missing. I ran away."

Geoff put the newspaper in his lap and then folded his hands on top of it, sighing.

"It's a shame that things like that happen."

"This is Los Santos. People don't care."

"We're trying to change it."

"Well, good luck with that." Michael huffed. "I don't want to be rude, but I don't think this will work, Geoff. This city is rotten and there are too many bad people living in it. The weak will get picked off first and one day the city will run itself into the ground. I won't be around to see that though."

Geoff hummed thoughtfully and looked down at the newspaper. The picture of Ray and Gavin made it look like they were criminals. It was a picture out of their files, no smiling or anything. It didn't even look like them.

"The way I see this you have two choices, Michael," Geoff began then. "I can cover this up, your disappearance and that of Ray and Gavin. Nobody will ask any bothersome questions and it will all blow over by the end of the month. We bring you back to that orphanage and make sure you don't get trouble in school. You can keep the credit card and we will put new money into your account each month. Once Ray and Gavin are old enough they will receive their own cards, that should help all of you even when you're too old to stay in that place and with Rob gone nobody should make any trouble. If someone does just inform me and we'll take care of it."

Michael stared at him, not sure if he had heard right. That was... everything he had wanted. He could provide for Ray and Gavin then, could focus on school and get a job. Once they were all out of the orphanage they could run away, somewhere where it was safer and prettier. They would even be under the protection of the Fakes!

His mouth opened to protest but then he remembered Jack's words. The difference between being proud and being stupid.

He had to think about Ray and Gavin. On of his own strength, he couldn't protect them, he had gotten a nasty reminder about that.

"What's the second choice?" he asked instead, and Geoff's smile widened.

"You don't go back to the orphanage and cut all ties with it. I will provide you with a place to stay and a private tutor to teach of you. You will be under the direct supervision of us to make sure you don't fuck up and get into some shady business."

"In return, you'll expect me to work for the Fakes," Michael interrupted him and for the first time, Geoff actually seemed surprised.

"What? No way! You stay with your ass out of this business!"

"But Jerem-"

"If I could've kept Jeremy out of this shit I would have. Unfortunately by the time I found him he was already in over his head." Geoff huffed agitatedly. It made his mustache bristle a little. "I will make sure that you get a job, Michael. There are some inside of the crew that are safe but I also have ties to many businesses around here. It's still some time until then anyway, so don't worry about that right now."

Stunned Michael sat there and just stared at Geoff for a while. All of that sounded too good to be true and a part of him wanted to believe Geoff.

"Why wouldn't I chose that option?"

"You tell me. You have to break all ties with your previous life. You boys will be one of those missing children who will never get found again and probably won't see any of your friends anymore. That's the price you pay."

That wasn't a problem. There wasn't something holding him in his old life, as long as he had Ray and Gavin with him he would be fine. His parents... They hadn't really cared for him and he couldn't even remember the last time his mother had called without a reason. His father dropped by from time to time, but Michael knew it was bothersome for him and his new wife.

Would they think he was dead? Was he even informed that Michael wasn't in the orphanage anymore and was worried sick?

That should probably make Michael feel guilty but instead, it nearly felt... good. His parents left him in that place, they knew what they were getting into. And still, their faces made him hesitate now.

"Take your time," Geoff told him when he noticed. He didn't get mad, didn't expect an answer right away. "There is no need to rush right now. I also want to talk with Ray and Gavin about this, you should do so as well."

"That's all very generous, Geoff."

"That's just how I am," Geoff assured him and then started to laugh as if that was all funny to him. It wasn't a mean laughter thought and Michael couldn't help but smile along. He had a choice and he had time to think about it. Things would be clearer then.

"Thank you," he said then and he meant it from the bottom of his heart. This was all more than he ever had before and it felt... it felt like he was worth something. Sitting here and talking with one of the most powerful men of this city, being able to laugh with him... it made him feel alive.

"I told you it's fine! Now you guys better start packing. We're gonna get you somewhere where it's nice and safe."

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is too much,” Michael found himself saying, and it sounded far away like this voice wasn’t even his own.
> 
> “After everything you guys have been through, this i-”
> 
> “No, Jack. It’s really too much.” He meant it with every fiber of his being. Everything was a lot and overwhelming and on Monday he had shared a room with two beds with Gavin and Ray. They had eaten mashed potatoes because there was nothing else and had shared one big bathroom with everyone. Now this.

Chapter 7

 

The house Jack drove them to that evening looked like something straight out of a movie. Up in the hills surrounding Los Santos, it clung to the hillside like it was desperate not to slip off.

There were only a handful of other houses here, all graciously spaced apart to not get bothered by noisy neighbors. Even the outside was remarkable. White walls hidden behind a well-kept hedge, a garage that opened the moment Jack arrived and lights that turned on automatically.

Honestly, Michael was pretty speechless about the whole thing. Ray and Gavin were quite the opposite. They had pressed their faces against the car windows to see more and when Jack parked the car, they were out in a heartbeat.

It made Jack chuckle, because those two just crashed into the still locked door before Jack allowed them inside. Then they were off, sprinting down the long hallway to see everything.

A part of Michael wanted to follow along but his legs felt heavy. The soft colors on the walls, the immaculate wooden floor… it was a world he didn’t belong in.

Jack had to know that, it was easy to see and still her hand on his shoulder guided him ahead.

“Up here you can find five bedrooms, so you guys can choose which one you want to take,” she explained as she pointed towards a flight of stairs. “Otherwise you can find everything you need on this floor.” They stopped on a low wall that separated them and the open kitchen. All kept in white and chrome and with a huge fridge. Two steps below was the living room with the biggest couch Michael had ever seen. It was of a dark grey with an army of pillows and blankets. Both Ray and Gavin were checking it out right now, their eyes huge as they let their hands run over each different fabric. Across from it was the TV with an assortment of consoles to choose from and behind that… behind that was a fucking patio to look over Los Santos.

This place belonged in some magazine, not to them.

“I asked Berta to look after you guys. She’ll drop by to tidy up and bring you food once a day but I have to ask you to not make too much of a mess if possible.”

“Jack-”

“There’s a pool outside. It’s not really deep, but now that I think about it, can you swim?”

Michael just shook his head, still trying to grasp all of this. This luxury, this view, this life one could have if just born right. Or if one dared to claw their way to the top.

“Alright, then please keep away from it for now. I don’t want any accidents to happen.”

“This is too much,” Michael found himself saying, and it sounded far away like this voice wasn’t even his own.

“After everything you guys have been through, this i-”

“No, Jack. It’s really too much.” He meant it with every fiber of his being. Everything was a lot and overwhelming and on Monday he had shared a room with two beds with Gavin and Ray. They had eaten mashed potatoes because there was nothing else and had shared one big bathroom with everyone. Now this.

He blindly searched for the steps and then sat down before he could collapse. His eyes wandered over this place, this beautiful, beautiful place, and he couldn’t help but press a hand against his mouth. He wasn’t even sure why, just that he feared he would start screaming or something.

Surely this was a joke, some kind of trick and he didn’t want it to be. Sitting here, he could see Ray pull open the door to the patio and Gavin followed along to discover that new part of the house. The house they would stay in if they chose to stay with Geoff and not go back. Just a weekend house, Jack had called it. A house they offered guests of the crew.

"Michael? What's wrong, dear?"

Again he could just shake his head. He didn't have the needed words to explain how out of the world everything in here was, how even in his wildest dreams he had never even expected to step foot in a house like this, let alone live in it. Things like this didn't happen. This was like the nice stranger who offered candy if you just take a seat in the back of his van. This was like a deal with a shadow in the woods who didn't mention that the price was your very soul.

Everything in him screamed to run away, to not trust them. He had been burned more than enough times to know how the world worked and things like this came with a price and he wasn't sure if he would be able to pay it.

But oh God, he wanted it to be true. To truly believe Jack's nice words and Geoff's easy promises. To believe that all his hard work and all they've been through had brought them right here, that this was right.

What if it wasn't though? What if he brought Ray and Gavin into even more danger? How should he know? What was the right path to choose?

"Take your time," Jack told him as she sat down by his side. "All of this has to be so overwhelming, but you’ve got time to take it in. For now, this is a place for you to rest and heal and think. Nobody here will rush you to make a decision. The most important thing right now is for the three of you to be safe."

It sounded good and honest and like his wildest dreams. A gentle voice who would tell him that things were going to be alright, that he had done good and now it had paid off. A parental figure that would take over at some point and just let Michael be a kid for a while.

There had never been a person like that, nobody to tell him that he was doing the right thing. All he could do was push through and not look back as to what he was losing.

"I don't know what to do..." he whispered and next to him Jack just hummed.

She didn't answer and he had kinda expected her to push him into one direction or the other. Either because she wanted them to stay or to be gone.

Instead she just wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into her side. Michael stiffened, unsure about what to do about that. He was usually the one giving out hugs and not the one receiving them. Sure, Gavin was especially eager to hug and cuddle in search for comfort and Michael would of course give him that, but right now it was the other way around. Jack was offering her support, and the sad truth was that Michael just wasn't used to it.

It was nice though and he was too confused and tired to truly fight it, so he gave in. Relaxing against her he closed his eyes and could hear Ray and Gavin talking on the patio. The bristling city noises were gone for once in his life and he nearly missed them. Instead, he enjoyed the silence, his own breath and that of Jack, the distant familiar voices.

This could be home, their new one. As long as they stayed together they could make it one.

Then he realized that Jack’s perfume smelled good and that he was quite close to her chest and also that he was fifteen. This was probably the closest he had ever been to a woman and Michael quickly sat up, face burning.

"Thanks," he muttered and quickly cleared his throat.

Jack threw him a look and he didn't quite dare to look at her. What if she knew exactly what was wrong? Oh God, why couldn't the ground just open up?

"How about you look after Gavin and Ray and I'll order pizza?"

 

After that began a time that Michael considered as a vacation. Each day he would wake like clockwork only to realize that he didn't need to be anywhere. There was no school and no work and sometimes he sat in his bed and didn't do a thing. When he did decide to get up Berta would be there. Berta was a slim little woman who prepared food for the day and sometimes Michael helped her. Michael had never cooked before but he found it fun. Also, it made him strangely proud when Ray or Gavin devoured the food he made.

After Berta was gone they could do whatever, and that was the strangest kind of freedom Michael had ever experienced.

They played through the endless amount of video games the house had to offer or sat on the patio where the sun wasn't as harsh and looked over the city. There were books and movies and endless time. It felt like a summer vacation that never ended, and for the first time in so long Michael felt like a child. He would run around, trying to catch Ray or Gavin, or took over if they didn't find a solution of the video game they were currently playing. He slept a lot, sometimes well into the day, and his body craved the rest, even if it meant being rudely woken up by Ray jumping onto him.

Once a day someone would come to look after them. Usually it was Jeremy who was fun to hang around with, sometimes it was Jack, and rarely Geoff. They never asked him about his decision, and even though Michael knew that they couldn't continue like this, he pushed that worry aside, at least for now. First, they would heal and rest and slowly the nightmares eased.

"Will we stay here?" Gavin asked one day while they sat on the patio. Each of them had a glass of coke in front of them and the ice melted slowly. "Geoff said we could."

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know," Gavin admitted. "Then we won't go back, right?"

Michael nodded and the boy sighed.

"That's scary."

It was. There wasn't really anything that connected Michael with the orphanage besides the years he spent underneath its roof. Turning his back to it still felt like such a huge decision, that he didn't dare to think about it.

 

The house contained not only an impressive collection of games, but also movies. In the evening they were slowly making a way through it, but today Michael couldn't really pay attention to it. He felt relaxed and sleepy from the being outside most of the day and the movie wasn't too spectacular. Also, this couch was just too comfy and he found himself drifting off to sleep more than once, his head sinking against the back of the seat before he snapped back to attention.

He was pretty sure that Ray was watching him because he could hear him chuckle quietly, whispering with Gavin. Michael couldn't find it in him to care. This house made Ray happy, Michael couldn't remember ever seeing him smile so much and he was just too glad to not see that cold look in his eyes all the time. It was a bit of a surprise because Michael had expected Ray to be as reluctant about this whole situation as he was, but maybe Ray was just too young for that. Ray wanted to believe that this was real and their future, and even though he had been in the orphanage the longest, he probably wouldn't mind in the least to leave it behind.

Michael would talk about that with him. Soon.

Now though the background music of the movie was lulling him to sleep and hearing the other two had something comfortable as well.

Then Gavin started screaming and Michael snapped back to attention. It was a scream of terror and when he opened his eyes again, he found Gavin pale and his wide eyes staring past Michael.

Michael turned around and for a moment his heart also skipped a beat when he saw the person standing in the shadow, huge and menacing. Then he recognized the mask and let out a quite colorful assortment of profanities.

Ryan gave a nearly shy wave, a box of take-out food in his hand and Michael actually laughed over the misunderstanding. Then he realized that he was the only one laughing and when he turned around, Gavin still sat there, hands pressed against his eyes. He was shaking from head to toe and Ray hovered next to him, not quite daring to touch.

"Shit," Michael spat and got up. For a moment he wanted to reach for Gavin, but Ray had that handled. More important was to get Ryan out, and so he walked up to the Vagabond, grasped his arm and dragged him towards the patio.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked but Michael shoved him through the glass door outside and quickly closed it again.

"You scared him."

"Well, I did get that."

No, he didn't. It wasn't a simple scare, something they could laugh about while their heartbeat calmed down. No, it was something that sat on your chest, squeezing the breath right out of the lungs. Not something that would pass after a few seconds.

But he didn't know the words to explain it and so the second best thing he had come up with by now was to get Gavin away from whatever had scared him and then calm him down. Ray was taking care of calming down now, Michael watched as Ray kneeled before Gavin, talking and rubbing his legs. It made him proud to see Ray like this. That was what Michael always did and Ray had watched and learned.

Now he took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. After being woken so suddenly it felt a bit like a dream and the fact that he was alone with the Vagabond out here didn't help. Least of all when he turned around and in the dark, he could see barely more than the skull mask.

"Do you have to wear that damn mask everywhere?" Michael snapped at him.

"Well... yeah."

Huffing, Michael dropped onto one of the chairs standing outside here and a bit reluctantly Ryan followed him.

"I didn't mean to scare any of you."

"But you did. Also that's total bullshit! Nobody runs around with a mask like that and expects not to scare anyone!"

Ryan didn't even talk back to that and Michael figured that he hit the nail on the head. He watched Ray and Gavin through the glass door and knew that Ryan probably expected an explanation of some kind but Michael didn't want to explain things. That was private and nobody's business but theirs.

"Gavin did the same when I found them in the room Rob locked them in," Ryan said slowly. "I didn't think much of it but thinking about it now... I'm guessing this mask reminds him of the intruder that killed his parents."

Michael spun around, glaring at him. "How do you know about that?"

"Do you really think we would just take in three kids and not check their backgrounds?"

Of course not. Of course the Fakes had to be careful and of course, they had sniffed around. For them it probably wasn't hard to get into any information regarding them, Michael was pretty sure that he could fucking google Gavin's case!

"The reports said that Gavin didn't see the man and only woke up the next morning to alert the police."

"As if you could just sleep through your parents getting shot," Michael huffed.

"His father was involved in some drug business and couldn't pay."

"Dunno, never met his father, did I?" Michael asked. He was holding on to the edge of the table, hard enough to make his knuckles turn white. He didn't want to talk about this and it wasn't his job to tell that story.

The glass door slid open and thankfully Ryan fell silent. A bit sheepishly, Gavin stood there, hand tightly gripping Ray's.

"Sorry Ryan," he muttered as the both of them stepped out on the patio.

"You don't need to apologize, buddy." Ryan put the take out box on the table and waved Gavin closer to him. "I didn't want to scare you like that."

"I should've recognized you though." He came closer until Ryan could ruffle his hair, but kept his eyes tightly shut as if he couldn't bear to look at the mask right now. His hand was still tightly holding on to Ray and when Ryan let him go, he quickly took a step back.

It was all an act, Michael could see how pale he still was and how he made absolutely sure not to look at Ryan directly. That scare had left him unsure and in that moment he was certain he could hate Ryan. If he had already known about their pasts then why did he show up looking like that?

"You killed a lot of people," Ray said suddenly and he didn't seem to have any problem with looking at Ryan. "And you wore the mask while doing that, right?"

Ryan stiffened and Michael could only stare at Ray. The boy was so angry that he was shaking on the spot.

"The intruder was caught," Ryan said, but it just set Ray off more.

"Oh, so you already know about our sob story?" He turned to Michael, scowling. "Did you tell them?"

"No, Ray. It's not hard to figure out if you want to."

"So they just went and searched for it. That's all you guys ever want to know! Our sob stories and where our parents are! It's none of your business!"

"Ray!" Michael snapped at him. He snatched Ray's arm and pulled him towards him, mindful of the cast. A part of him feared that Ryan would just slap him in the face or worse even though Ryan just sat there, listening.

"Stop it. You're being rude."

"I'm not being rude!" Ray tried to defend himself. "They are rude for sniffing around in things that don't matter to them!"

"Ra-"

"No!" He freed himself from Michael's grip and stormed off, throwing the glass door shut behind him. He left them in a heavy silence and Michael couldn't help but blame Ryan a little for that. If he hadn't showed up the evening would have ended like usual and neither of them would have been so worked up.

"Ray doesn't like to talk about what has happened," Gavin said after a while and sat down with them. "He once punched a girl at school because she made fun of him for not having parents."

"He did what?"

Pulling a face, Gavin ducked a little. "Ah, please forget I told you that. He knew you'd get angry so I promised not to tell." He turned to Ryan and tried himself on a smile. "I know that it wasn't you back then, Ryan. This man wasn't very quiet, I could hear him stomp around the apartment and you don't make a noise at all when you move. Also, he wore a totally different mask!"

Gavin laughed, it sounded fake and Michael could just watch him. Gavin never really talked about what had happened before coming to the orphanage. It had taken him over a year to even tell Michael the gist of it and now hearing him say it nearly casually was scary. He went to change the topic, to say something different but couldn't think of something on the top of his head. Still, he had to protect him, didn't want to reopen old wounds.

"He was caught," Ryan said, and didn't seem to care when Michael glared at him.

"Yeah, the police said he was kinda stupid and left behind a lot of evidence. They caught him after a few days but they would've gotten him sooner if I called them earlier but I-" He trailed off and Michael frowned.

"You were a child," he snapped, and didn't want to sound so angry but he was. Angry that some stupid cop had talked bullshit to a kid who had just found his parents dead and hadn't called right away. Now it was on Gavin to carry that with him.

"When Ray and I were in that room and we could hear the gunshots outside it just reminded me. Back then it was also very quiet and I was sleeping and then bang-" He slapped his hand down on the table, making both of them jump, "and I was awake and my mom was awake. I could hear her, first really quietly and then louder and louder. Then bang," again his hand coming down on the table and even though Michael had expected it, he couldn't help but flinch again. It was a disturbing sound in the silence out here on the patio, "and my mom fell quiet."

He stopped, staring down at his hand on the table and again Michael wanted to change the topic, to get him to stop somehow but he couldn't get his mouth to open. It was like it was sewed shut and a part of me didn't even dare to interrupt Gavin, not by how concentrated he looked in that moment, making him seem so much older.

Ryan as well, who was watching him intently but not interrupting him.

"Then there were steps down the hallway and I thought it was dad. That was pretty stupid of me now that I think about it but back then I got up and wanted to ask him what was going on. But this man with the mask opened the door and I-" Gavin frowned and then reached up to cover his eyes with his hands again, pressing his palm so hard against his face that Michael wanted to shake him out of it. It was the same as in the living room, as back when he had been taken by Rob because of course.

In that room, together with Ray, all he could hear were shots and then a masked figure who threw the door open. God, it must have been like being back in his old room.

Gavin was still standing there, hands in front of his face and breathing heavily and finally Michael could move, could grasp his arm and shake him.

"And the man closed the door again," he reminded Gavin because his memory seemed to stop in that moment. The moment that must have been endless for a kid who was just woken up to face a monster in the dark. Who didn't know any better besides hiding away as best as he could.

"He closed the door and ran away. The police caught him afterward. Right? That's how it went, Gavin."

Slowly Gavin let his hands sink and nodded. When Michael tugged at him he quickly slipped from his chair and into Michael's lap without any hesitation. Cuddled against him, Michael could feel him shake and the cold sweat and buried his face in blonde hair.

"The man is gone," he whispered, needed Gavin to know that and the boy nodded again.

"Did you ever see that man without his mask?" Ryan asked and Michael had nearly forgotten that he was still here. "Surely you were too young to testify in court."

"I don't think I did."

"Do you want to?"

Michael froze and stared at Ryan. He couldn't be for real, but before he could protest Ryan looked at him, and even though he didn't say anything, Michael kept his mouth shut.

Gavin pressed against him and then craned his head to look up to Michael, clearly in search for guidance but he... he didn't know. Would it be a good thing? Maybe it would help Gavin get over part of it or it would make things worse.

So he just shrugged and Gavin thought about it for a while longer before nodding.

When Ryan held out his phone, Gavin nearly took it greedily and then stared at the photo. Michael did so as well.

He had never bothered to check out Gavin's case. Gavin had told him what he needed to know and everything else was just an invasion of privacy so the picture was of a complete stranger.

The man was around middle age with hair that was starting to turn gray on the edges and a bit overweight. All in all, he didn't look like anything special, just another picture of a police report. Something you'd see on the news and think nothing much of it. But this person had killed Gavin's parents and as tightly as Gavin grasped the phone, he had at least stopped shaking.

"My dad owed him money, right? That's why he killed him?"

"That's at least what the police report said," Ryan told him.

Gavin nodded but couldn't keep his eyes from the phone. He leaned into Michael in search for comfort.

"I don't think that money is that important," he finally mumbled and then, like an afterthought, "He doesn't look as scary without his mask."

"Most people don't."

And to Michael's surprise, Ryan pulled his own mask over his head. It at least made Gavin look up and laugh.

"You're right, you don't look scary at all, Ryan."

He really didn't. Ryan looked disturbingly normal with a strong jaw and messed up hair that he brushed out of his face now. When he noticed Michael's shocked look, he all but smirked at him.

"Well, I'm glad for that," he said and took his phone when Gavin offered it back. Instead, he handed the boy his mask and Gavin was far more reluctantly in touching it. He did though, feeling the texture of it and then looking at his hands that came back black with soot.

"This mask won't hurt you. Quite the opposite, it will protect you from now on."

That made Gavin smile and Michael was glad to see that expression on him. Whenever he was reminded of his parents he would be down for the next few days, unresponsive and fighting with nightmares.

"Thank you, Ryan." He tried to give the mask back but Ryan just shook his head.

"Keep it if you want to. I have a dozen of those back at home."

Now Gavin full out beamed and pressed the mask against his chest.

"Can I show Ray? I want to check on him to make sure he's not mad at us!"

"Take the food with you. You know he can't stay mad at us when we bring him food." Michael handed him the nearly forgotten take out boxes and watched as Gavin sprinted inside, calling for Ray.

Once he couldn't hear him anymore, Michael turned around to find Ryan watching him. At first, he didn't quite dare to look at the other directly, but then he decided to fuck it. If Ryan showed his face here, then so be it.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

Michael didn't answer, not in the mood for games and Ryan sighed.

"I figured after causing so much chaos tonight this would only be fair. Maybe this will even help Gavin get over what happened to him."

"Seems pretty daring for someone who is so dependent on his mask. You're giving that all up just to help some kids?"

Ryan laughed and leaned back in his chair. It was so much easier to read him now that his mask was gone and Michael knew that he could make a fortune describing him to the police, even more, when he managed to snatch a photo from him. Still-

"You won't rat me out," Ryan said, and Michael pressed his lips together.

"You can't be sure."

"Oh, but I am. Why do you think you’re here, Michael? Why does Geoff allow you to stay here?"

He didn't know. All those nice words he had heard about that he deserved it didn't matter because nobody did good things just because someone else deserved it. At least not to this degree.

So he stayed silent and watched as Ryan reached into his jacket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one and kept it between his lips, dragging it out on purpose.

"In our business we see a lot of kids who have it rough, usually because of their parents. Look at Gavin, his father surely wouldn't have been a good role model growing up."

"Are you saying it's good that he's been killed?"

"I'm just saying that it certainly changed Gavin's future. You became his new role model and congrats Michael, but I'm sure you're a better one."

Michael felt himself blush but fought it down. "That doesn't answe-"

"We found Jeremy when he was fourteen and neck deep in shit. The crew he was running with started shit with us and fucking sent Jeremy out to take care of things. They knew that Ramsey doesn't fuck around with kids so they thought we would just give up. Of course, we didn't and that's honestly not as rare as you might think. Many kids out there are desperate for money and don't know a better way to get to it. You're far from the only case we found and certainly not one of the worst ones."

The cigarette lit up bright red in the darkness when Ryan took a drag, the smoke getting lost somewhere in the night. "When we find a kid in such a situation we make sure that they go somewhere better, somewhere far away from Los Santos. Distant relatives or special facilities for troubled children. If they're old enough Geoff makes sure they have the funds for a new beginning. We keep tabs on them occasionally and not all make it but it's at least a chance for them. That's more than any of them ever had."

"Will you also send us away?" Michael whispered and was surprised by how scary that sounded, how much he wanted to stay here at least a little longer.

"Not if you don't want us to. Just like Jeremy, you were given a choice because you and he are very similar, Michael. Jeremy came to Los Santos to make money for his family. He sold his entire childhood to make a little bit and even when we caught him, that was all he thought about. Just like you." Ryan leaned ahead and the ember of his cigarette painted an arch in the night. "Loyalty, Michael. Loyalty is the trait Geoff is looking for and you showed him that back then. When you came for us and Geoff talked to you he saw it and you wouldn't believe how rare it is nowadays, most of all in this business. In this city. But you have it and that even for people who shouldn't matter a bit to you."

He nodded towards the house, the light and warmth inside, and Michael couldn't help but look as well. Ray and Gavin were on the couch, eating chicken wings while continuing their movie. The skull mask laid between them.

"So no, Michael. You 're not stupid enough to go against the Fakes after what we've done for you. You won't rat me out for money. No, you’re loyal and that is as much a curse as it is a blessing."

  
  



	8. To be wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael shook his head. "Did you ever regret it?"  
> "What exactly?"  
> "Joining the Fakes."

Chapter 8

To be wanted

 

Yawning, Michael opened the door to Ray's new bedroom and pulled the curtains aside. Unsurprisingly Ray didn't even notice the difference, just continued to drool into his pillow.

"Come on, big boy." Michael gave him a soft slap on his back. "Get up."

"No!"

"Yes." He pulled the blanket away from him making Ray groan. Then the boy seemed to realize what day it was and sat up, blinking sluggishly up to Michael.

"Is Jeremy already here?"

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen waiting for you, so you better get ready."

Ray grinned and jumped out of bed to race to the bathroom. Well, that was something Michael was sure he would never see in his life.

Gavin was easier to wake even though Michael kept on pulling a face seeing the skull mask. For whatever reason Gavin took the thing with him to bed, pressed against his chest like it was a teddy. It did seem to help against the nightmares though, because since Ryan gave it to him, Gavin slept in his own bed.

"Will you get ready?" Michael asked him while Gavin cuddled into his side, always a bit touchy-feely in the morning.

Gavin nodded, and after another few minutes of cuddling, Michael got up and headed into the kitchen.

"They'll be ready in a few," he told Jeremy, who was stuffing bacon strips into his mouth.

"No rush."

Geoff had asked him to come in for a talk today, and even though he hadn't mentioned an exact time, Michael wanted to get it out of the way first thing in the morning. The thought made him a bit anxious even though he didn't know why. He didn't expect Geoff to scream at him or something, but it was still... well, Geoff Ramsey. Jeremy had gladly agreed to take care of Gavin and Ray for the time being so Michael didn't have to worry about them.

"I'm thinking about taking them to the arcade," Jeremy told him as he munched through his breakfast. "You think they'd be up for it?"

"Dude, they'll love you forever. They're already so excited for today," Michael assured him and then had to laugh at how pleased Jeremy seemed with himself at hearing that.

Snatching some bacon for himself, he could hear Ray and Gavin bickering over the bathroom. That would take a while, so instead he turned back to Jeremy.

"So... Ryan told me a bit about your situation. I hope you don't mind that."

Jeremy actually snorted which wasn't what Michael had expected.

"It's fine. I've learned that I don't have to be ashamed by what I've done. Geoff even says that I can be proud, but... well, it's still a work in progress."  He shrugged. "My family is fine now and I am as well. They don't really know what I'm doing but as long as I make enough money they don't ask many questions."

"That sounds nice."

"But that's probably not what you wanted to ask me."

Michael shook his head. "Did you ever regret it?"

"What exactly?"

"Joining the Fakes."

Jeremy took a moment to think about it before taking yet another bacon strip and chewing on it.

"I wouldn't call it regret," he finally said. "In the beginning, I often wondered if I made the right decision, Geoff also offered for me to go back to my family with enough money to start anew but that was just... it wasn't for me, you know? I was so used to this life, the adrenaline, the guns, this city; coming back home would've been like being dead. Nothing happens there, at least not to the degree, it happens here. No other place is like Los Santos, and honestly? I would've probably bored myself to death or gotten into trouble just for the fun of it."

He shook his head. "So no, I don't think I ever regretted this decision. I usually also think it was the right thing to do. It's good being here, but more importantly it's fun. Yeah, it can be really fun."

He finished eating and wiped his hands carelessly on his jeans before turning to Michael. Jeremy wasn't much older than him, but at that moment he seemed decades wiser.

"Geoff is a good man," he told him. "No matter what you choose, he will make sure that you won't regret it. It's really up to you what you want to do. And I guess you get to decide for Ray and Gavin as well, but that's fine. I'm pretty sure they would follow you no matter what and they trust you."

"That's what's making this so hard."

"I bet it is!" Jeremy laughed but whatever he wanted to say next he kept to himself when there a ruckus came from the stairs. In the next moment, both Ray and Gavin raced towards them, both eager to fist bump Jeremy first.

"Hey guys."

"Good morning, Jeremy!" Gavin greeted him while Ray pushed him aside.

"What are we doing today?"

"I was thinking about the arcade. What do you guys think?"

By the volume of their cheers, Jeremy had made the right decision.

 

"Be nice to Jeremy," Michael told them when they dropped him off at the base.

"We'll win you a prize, Michael!"

"You’d better. Now I have expectations." He waved after them as they drove off and then rode up the elevator. On the drive here he had somewhat calmed down, but now he felt his heart pick up again and it grew worse the closer he came to Geoff's office. Now, standing in front of the door, he didn't even want to knock, but that wasn't really an option, was it?

So with one last deep breath, he knocked and opened the door. Geoff was sitting on his large desk and waved him closer. He still had a phone pressed to his ear, and that was at least something, right? With how busy Geoff was this couldn't take long.

Michael sat down and tried hard not to eavesdrop about the deal Geoff was talking about and instead looked through the window and down at the city. From up here, Los Santos looked both bigger as he had imagined, but also smaller somehow. Being down there in the endless alleyways it was hard to grasp the size and he kinda expected that Los Santos was just endless. He had never been outside the city and to see the border of the city from up here felt... well, strange. For other people who traveled around the world or just to the next city that was probably a childish thought but Michael couldn't help it. That was the edge of his world.

"Sorry," Geoff said when he finally put his phone down. "Business and all that crap."

"I understand."

"Well, what I was going to talk about with you..." Geoff trailed off and searched around for something. It was a file he pulled out from beneath the keyboard in the end. "It's not on the news but we found it in a local newspaper." He gave him a cut-out report and Michael stiffened before he so much as touched it. On top of the report was a picture of him and the headline beneath read 'Missing Person: Michael Jones'.

"We keep a close eye on the news," Geoff explained when Michael took the report. It wasn't a very recent picture, maybe one from a year or two ago, but definitely him. "There was a bit of coverage in Ray and Gavin's case, mostly because of the circumstances of their disappearance. A lot of parents freaked out at the prospect that their children could just get kidnapped from their school and that's the direction it took. The school is in quite a bit of trouble but barely anyone is talking about the two of them anymore."

"Just some kids that no one really misses," Michael mumbled. "If they were a couple years older there wouldn't be any coverage at all."

"You mean like with you?" Geoff nodded to the report in Michael's hands. "Someone is searching for you, Michael."

That was... weird. Hearing that made him feel a strange mix of emotions that he didn't even want to try to work through. He looked back down to the report in his hands. It wasn't huge, like a full page or something but visible with his image and everything.

"Who was this?"

And that question confused Geoff. "Your father of course."

"My dad?" That didn't make any sense and he quickly shook his head. "That can't be."

"Believe it. We called the newspaper and they confirmed his name." Geoff leaned ahead and Michael was too confused to be able to tell if he was angry or not. "You didn't tell me that your parents were still alive. With you being in the orphanage I expected... you know."

"They put me there because they couldn't provide for me. They put me there so that they could forget me." His own voice sounded flat even to him.

"Your mother moved away a couple years ago," Geoff went on and his voice snapped him a bit out of it. Looking up from his own photo he saw Geoff check on the file again. There were more photos in there, he recognized his mom even though he hadn't seen her since all those years.

"She calls me on my birthday," he found himself saying and then another thought came to him. "Is she... is she here? Did she come back?"

Geoff shook his head, and that shouldn't hurt as much as it did. He was past that, right? He knew his mother had left him here to start another life, why would she give that up?

"As far as we know she is in contact with your father about your disappearance but she hasn't traveled here. The main instigator is your father."

"I don't care," Michael found himself saying and there was something hard and unrelenting in his chest. Something fierce and hurt that he didn't want to touch. "He never cared about me before."

Geoff just watched him and suddenly Michael had the urge to convince him. "He couldn't get his life together and still had a child. Then when he realized that a child is work he just gave it away. Somewhere cheap, somewhere on the other side of town where he didn't have to think about that kid anymore. Both my mom and my dad did that!" He huffed and grumbled the report in his hand, didn't want to see his own picture anymore. "They didn't care about me before, all they ever did was set a reminder for my birthday and gave me a call or in my dad's case, came over for a visit. A stupid day to pretend what could have been and with the same empty promises. That things were looking up, that soon I could come home! But hey, at least that's better than my mother who just fucking ran away! She ran away and got a new guy! Let's see if she makes the same mistake again!"

Geoff just kept on watching him calmly but Michael didn't think about taking it back. Why would he? It was true after all!

His parents had made a mistake and then gotten rid of it to live their life. In some weird way, it was probably fair, they had abandoned him so that they could at least try and be happy. Two for one and all that jazz.

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Michael let himself fall back into the chair. He was pissed off now, defensive, and he knew that it wasn't Geoff's fault, but he was the only one here. That still wasn't a reason to snap at him, so instead Michael just bit on his tongue and didn't add anything to it. He had revealed too much anyway.

"I gave you two choices," Geoff said after a while. "All I wanted was to give you a third. To go back to either your mother or father."

For a second that thought alone lit something up. Something that was long kept in the dark, the hope of an abandoned child but Michael quickly fought it down. That part was dead and gone and should remain like that.

"Don't bother," he grunted out, and Geoff nodded slowly.

"I understand."

He didn't ask for his choice, didn't push Michael to make up his mind. They just sat there in the morning light and Michael felt it crawl warmly over his skin. He was still grasping the report tightly, now nothing more than a ball of paper and he didn't know what to think about it.

His father was searching for him, which should be natural but it should also be natural to raise him at home, to not just give him away to fend for himself. It wasn't normal to just talk a handful of times a year and see each other even less.

If his father really cared about him he should've shown him earlier. He had all the time in the world after all. Maybe it was just to save face in front of his new wife or coworkers or close friends. They must have heard that Michael had disappeared so of course, his father would have to at least pretend to search for him. Yeah, that had to be it.

He looked up to the open folder that still sat before Geoff. The picture of his mother was smiling back at him, a more recent one probably from her social media or something. He hadn't seen her in so long that he barely recognized her but the eyes... yeah, some things were just too engraved in memories to forget.

Now that he thought about it, he never had bothered to search for her or his father. It should've been easy to look them up on the PCs at the library he kept using, but he never had. Maybe to show that he didn't need them, that he could do it on his own. Also, it could hurt because on those sites everyone appeared happy. Everyone had that picture perfect life, and if that was the case he didn't even want to know.

But seeing her on that image now left him yearning for something, and he couldn't even tell what it was. It helped him calm down though and after a while, he relaxed his hand. The report was crumpled but he tried to straighten it as much as possible before awkwardly handing it back to Geoff.

"Are you really sure, Michael?"

He nodded.

"Alright."

"Can I... those pictures. Can I have them? I don't have pictures of them anymore." The request stumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it and a part was glad for it. Even if he was embarrassed by it, all his mementos of his parents were back in the orphanage and just having those pictures was enough. He didn't even have to look at them, maybe just from time to time. It would just be a reminder.

"Of course." Geoff handed them over and Michael didn't like how his hands shook as he took the pictures. It was maybe half a dozen but that was more than enough for him.

"We can get you more if you want to."

"No, it's okay."

He looked at his smiling mother and couldn't help but smile as well. He was still pissed at her and would never stop, after all, she had run away but to know that she was happy was... it was good. The next picture showed her and what he assumed was her new boyfriend.

The guy looked nothing like his father, more macho with his tan skin and the wife beater, but they looked in love as far as he could tell.

Then there was his father and his new wife. He knew them of course, but they always looked tense when they were visiting him. In the picture, they were laughing over something, his father's arm wrapped around her middle.

Michael's smile froze and he felt how his heart picked up.

"Who's that?" he asked and pointed to the little girl in between them. She was grinning into the camera, her two front teeth missing.

Geoff looked up and then hesitated, throwing him another glance and oh- Oh, of course, it wasn't hard to put two and two together.

"They have a child together." It wasn't a question that came from him, it would be a stupid question to begin with. After all who else would that be?

"You didn't know?"

He hadn't and when he looked back at the photograph there was no doubt. He could see both his father and his stepmother in her face and when he flipped to the next picture she was in there as well. She was sitting on his father's shoulder, waving.

"What's her name?"

"Sarah."

Sarah. He mouthed the name to himself to not forget it and then took a closer look. Sarah looked around five in the picture so there was no reason for him not to know about her. All those visits since that time and neither his father nor his new wife had ever told him about her. Why did they keep her a secret?

Oh, but that wasn't the case, was it? He was the secret. He bet Sarah also didn't know jack shit about him. Didn't know that he existed.

What did they tell her when she visited him? That they went to buy groceries? Had to take care of the car or something? A bothersome appointment on those days and they would be glad to be back home again.

The upset slammed into him a moment later, a heavy weight around his chest that just kept on squeezing, not allowing him to breathe. He had to get out of here before it managed to choke him.

"Thanks, Geoff." He got up without looking at the other, without so much as raising his gaze. He folded the pictures in his hand and ignored Geoff's calls for him as he stormed out.

In the base, he had nowhere to go and there were too many faces around. He could hear Jack talking somewhere nearby but didn't want to meet her. He didn't want her pity.

But he also couldn't go back to the house, not without a car. Maybe he could use the credit card again to get there, to take a cab or something but he didn't even make it that far until the pictures in his hand began to burn. They hurt, just touching them hurt. To be so close to that happy life of his parents that they had gained by selling him. By sacrificing him as a child so that they had a chance.

So that they could try again.

Michael stumbled into a nearby bathroom and locked the door. The moment he heard the click, he threw the pictures away, didn't want to have them anymore. He shouldn't have asked Geoff in the first place, this wasn't a part of him anymore, and he clearly wasn't a part of his parents as well. Throwing them away felt right; after all they had done the same with him, but it didn't work. The pictures fluttered to the tiles on the ground, scattering there and showing all those pretty moments.

Showing laughs and smiles and love. Showing a family on beaches that certainly weren't Los Santos while he was left here to rot. But they didn't think about him then. They had their life, they had a future they didn't have to fight tooth and nail for. He was a shadow in their past, a distant responsibility they had to take care of once or twice a year.

They probably dreaded those days. They would glance at the calendar, notice that his birthday was soon and sigh. Telling themselves that it would just be a call, a visit, an hour or two out of their time and then it would be done for another year. Or during Christmas, how they would deal with him, only to forget him right away. To turn back to their real families and enjoy the holidays, just how Michael would turn back around and head to Ray's and Gavin's room.

Only that in there they would sit around, exchanging small gifts that were just knicknacks. Stupid toys for five dollars that would break by the end of the year, sometimes even things they had stolen just for the sake of pretending to have a Christmas. Just for the sake of thinking they were worth something.

But back with his parents? Oh, they would have a tree and delicious food. Boxes wrapped in pretty paper with bows on top and little tags with names on it.

They'd make cookies together and Michael wouldn't be there. He wouldn't even be on their mind after the call. He was the last hurdle before they could enjoy Christmas.

A part of him had always known that, but he had pushed it away. Now though things had changed.

Sarah, Sarah was there, and she lived the life he could've had. She had been the second try, the one that had turned out fine, and now she had a family. She had a home.

It hurt. That was probably stupid, but it did hurt. He had known that, that his parents had it better, that his parents didn't want him, so why did it felt like his chest was too tight? Like each heartbeat was wrong, was going to rip him apart because it wasn't wanted. Because he wasn't wanted.

He shouldn't have been born, that was the simple truth behind it.

His parents had tried it for a while before realizing that, and then they had given him away. Somewhere far off where they didn't have to think of him, where he was a call and a visit on his birthday and Christmas.

A mistake of the past.

Michael leaned against the door and then simply slid down until he sat on the cold floor. In front of him were the pictures of his parents, of could-have-beens and happy endings. Things that weren't meant for him, and he gritted his teeth like he always did to keep it in.

This time it just wouldn't do the trick, and what broke out was a desperate sob. He wanted to take it back, to pretend he was alright because he had to be. If he wasn't strong then who would be? But this time he couldn't and he started to cry. Exhausted tears that ran down his face and that he had held back for too long.

He wrapped his arms around himself than to keep from getting ripped apart, and he was alone now. On this cold floor in the bathroom, he was alone and stared at the pictures of his could-have-been families. Of not being hungry, not having to be scared and nobody after him. Nobody who would attack him and hurt him, and no blank fear of getting murdered.

There he would've been loved and it would be warm and he didn't have to worry. He didn't have to worry about anything. Not about his own life, not about two other kids who depended on him even though he was still barely more than a kid.

Life could've been good.

Instead here he was now. A mistake, a hushed, unwanted secret.

His parents were probably happy that he was gone. After all, they didn't have to pretend then. Didn't have to tell their daughter, sweet, sweet Sarah, that they had to go and get groceries on July 24th.

Yeah, deep inside they were probably happy.

Slowly the picture of his parents became nothing but blurs on the floor, and he didn't even want to stop crying then. If he'd stop he would have to face that again and he couldn't do that. He was acutely aware that he wasn't strong enough for that. That this strike had been too close to home and he was already too tired to fight back, to get back up. He knew he wouldn't come back from this, the knowledge that he was nobody even to the ones who had made him, who had brought him into this world.

It wasn't like he had a chance, like he had asked for this.

Pulling his legs against his chest, he wrapped his arms around them and held on tight. When he pushed his face against his knees he wouldn't have to see and he wouldn't have to be alive. He could just stay here and be nothing.

That's what they would've wanted anyway.

Someone knocked on the door and called his name. Geoff. Michael didn't react, not even when a moment later it was Jack on the door.

He should be embarrassed about crying here, but he didn't find the strength to be. He didn't even manage to keep quiet. Right now he didn't care, and at some point, the tears stopped.

That was good. It gave him the chance to just be, to cry until there was nothing left. No pain and no dark thoughts and nothing of himself. Until everything was outside and he was empty.

Then he wouldn't care anymore, right? Then the pain would pass.

It took a long time, maybe even hours but he didn't have a way to tell how long exactly but at some point, all he knew was that his ass hurt from sitting here for too long. Besides that there was nothing. No noise besides his own breathing; nothing to see when he hid his face against his knees and no thoughts in his head.

Jack had knocked twice since he had been sitting there, the second time she had sounded so worried because she hadn't heard him anymore. He had knocked back and that was the only time he had moved.

Now though he heard Gavin's excited voice and that meant they were back from the arcade and his self-loathing had to stop. Lifting his head the daylight hurt his eyes and he could already tell that he would get a headache. The pictures were still scattered on the floor but looking at them felt strangely distant like they weren't part of him. He picked them up, folded them and stuffed them into his pocket. More so because he couldn't leave them here and not because he wanted to keep them, but that was something he could worry about later.

Getting up he leaned over the sink and washed his face. It didn't do much and when he looked up he was still flushed and his eyes red, but there was no other way to fix this now.

So he unlocked the door and stepped outside. Ray and Gavin noticed him immediately and crowded around him, speaking all at once as if his head wasn't pounding. They were too excited to notice, too caught up in all the fun they had today, and that was fine.

Jeremy was another case, his eyes widened when he saw him and he hesitated. That was good though, because by the looks of it Jeremy was on the way to either Jack or Geoff, probably to tell them that he was back and they would tell him some unnecessary things.

"Are you okay?" Jeremy asked, and Michael forced a smile.

"Actually I don't feel too good right now. Might ate something funny." He shrugged and tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. "I know you just got here, but any chance you can drive me back first?"

"Yeah, sure."

Now both Ray and Gavin stared at him, alarmed, but he ruffled their hair. "I'm glad you had fun at the arcade."

"You gotta come with us the next time," Ray said halfheartedly, and Michael just nodded. Sure. Whatever. That was one of the last things on his mind right now.

Jeremy didn't hesitate to lead them down into the garage and get them into his atrocious looking car. Normally Michael wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut about it but right now he didn't feel the need for it. He just let himself drop into the passenger seat, glad to get away from here.

They drove in silence through the city and even though he felt Jeremy's glance, he didn't expect the other to make a comment so he was surprised when Jeremy talked to him.

"Did you have a fight with Geoff? Did your meeting not go well?"

"Oh no, I didn't fight with Geoff," Michael quickly assured him but kept his gaze out of the window. "I was just nervous about today and didn't sleep well and then when it was over I felt sick. I think when I lay down for a bit I’ll be alright again."

Jeremy didn't respond to that but Michael could tell that he didn't believe him, but they weren't close enough for Jeremy to insist.

Jeremy dropped them off at the house and after a quick wave, Michael quickly ushered the other two inside. He wanted to get away from Jeremy's eyes that bore into his back, but only managed to lock himself away with Ray and Gavin now staring at him.

"Did you have fun at the arcade?" he asked and then hesitated. Hadn't he already asked that before? Maybe, because both of them shared a short glance and neither started to explain in great detail what had happened. No, they just stood there in silence, and Michael closed his eyes.

He didn't want to deal with this right now. His head started to really hurt and he was too exhausted to play pretend.

"I'm going to lay down. You'll be fine for an hour or two, right?"

"Sure."

He turned away, ready to disappear up the stairs and into his room when Gavin caught his hand.

"We won you a prize," Gavin told him and pressed something into his palm. It was a keyring made out of cheap plastic and Michael forced a smile.

"That's great. Thanks." He stuffed it into his pocket and had already forgotten what the little figure was supposed to be. Freeing himself from Gavin's grip he left them standing there and headed upstairs. Only when he closed the door behind him he managed to take a breath.

That had been hard. He was used to keep up a mask, to pretend to be alright around others but he felt like he didn't have the needed strength. Not anymore, not after today.

He even locked the door, well aware that the click echoed through the house but he didn't care. Normally he would lock his own door only for the night, something that was too ingrained into his system to stop even here, but both of them knew they just had to knock. If they'd knock today he wasn't sure what he would do.

Kicking his shoes off he sat down heavily on the bed and kinda just stared at the wall. That felt good, watching the little dust particles dance in a sunbeam coming through the window. He didn't have to think then, could maybe rest and recover but the pictures seemed to burn a hole into his pockets.

He pulled them out and without looking at them he placed them on the bedside table. Face down. He even put the lamp on top of it to avoid them folding or falling down.

Then he just let himself fall onto the bed. It wasn't even noon, at least he was pretty sure but he felt so tired that he was sure he could drift off to sleep. The keyring was digging into his hips though and he pulled it out.

It was a fox, a cute little plastic fox, and that somehow made him smile. He wrapped his hands around it and fell into an exhausted sleep.

 

It felt like minutes when there was a knock at the door again, but when he opened his eyes it was already getting dark outside. Had he really slept through the day?

A bit alarmed he sat up because Ray and Gavin had been alone all this time and sure they weren't stupid but they were still idiots.

"Michael? Everything okay?"

It was Jack's voice, and that made him hesitate. His eyes flitted to the pictures he had put underneath the lamp and he felt the familiar weight of them on his shoulders. How they exhausted him with a tearing ache in his chest.

"Are you awake?"

"I'm fine, Jack," he called and pulled a face. His voice was fucked up and his throat dry, even his eyes itched.

"Can I come in?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

For a moment Jack fell silent but Michael could tell that she was still there. He didn't want her though, he would just have to work through this and then move on. His parents had abandoned him before, now they had just done it in a different way.

"Fine," Jack sighed behind the door. "But I brought food. I'm not sure if you've eaten anything yet."

"Alright. Thanks."

He listened as she walked down the stairs and took a deep breath. Funny enough he was hungry now that she mentioned it, but he wasn't sure who else was in the house right now and he didn't want to face any of them. Ray and Gavin he could fool, but he wasn't about to try with the Fakes.

So he sat down at the edge of the bed, playing with the little fox in his hand and waited for them to leave. From his window, he could see Jack's car parked in front of the house, and it took an uncomfortable amount of time until he saw her go out the door. She looked up to his room but wasn’t able to see him before she got into her car and driving off.

Good.

Now he dared to venture outside but made sure to stay at the top of the stairs and listen in case anyone else was here, but he could only hear the other two talk quietly. So he put on his mask and steeled himself before joining them in the living area.

There was a bag of burgers on the desk and both of them were gladly munching away when he entered.

"I hope you left some for me."

Ray and Gavin whipped around and both of their faces brightened up. They looked relieved to see him again and Michael quickly sat down with them.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Way better. I just needed some sleep," he assured Gavin.

"You just missed Jack. She wanted to talk to you."

"I'll see her soon enough." He pulled out two of the remaining burgers and started to dig in. After a day with barely any food, it felt great to have something, and he even managed to ignore the worried glances he would get. At least until Gavin noticed the keychain he had clipped onto his belt buckle.

"Do you really like it?"

"I do. Did you win it?"

Now the excitement came back as both of them talked over each other to describe the games they had found and played and which had been the best. Michael tried his best to listen but at one point that he got so overwhelmed by all their enthusiasm that he couldn't follow along, but they didn't notice and he was happy to just listen to their voices.

They looked so lively in that moment, sitting there in the sunlight and basking about a new experience and he loved them in that moment. He loved them very much. This was all he had ever wanted for them; his purpose and his heart still ached, but with them around it was fine.

 

In the night, the thoughts came back. Laying in his room he couldn't sleep, not after sleeping for so long that day. A part of him was still exhausted, but he was old enough to know that it was that special kind of exhaustion that sleep wouldn't cure, no matter how long it was.

So Michael rolled on his side and watched what little he could see through his window. He could get up and sit out on the patio but his body wouldn't move. It would be nicer there and maybe the colder air would help, and even though he knew all of that he still couldn't move.

He just felt too heavy, too weighted down, and one time he had tried to flip on his light but his fingers had brushed against the photos, and that had hurt. In his head, all those awful things were running around and around in circles but not tiring themselves out and he didn't know how to stop them.

When there was a knock at his door he was nearly glad, because with Gavin in here there would be at least something to keep his mind occupied with, and he was on his feet in an instant, as if he could escape his own head like that.

Unlocking the door he stepped aside, but to his surprise, it was Ray and not Gavin.

"Everything alright?"

With a short nod, Ray walked past him and sat down on the edge of the bed. Michael closed the door and joined him, a bit unnerved by the serious expression was wearing.

"Jack told us what happened," he said, and Michael felt himself grow cold. He hadn't expected that.

"Oh great, because that's everyone's business apparently!" He crossed his arms, but Ray actually smiled when he saw that.

"She just said that it was about some news of your family and well, I'm not as stupid as people think I am." He nodded towards the trapped photos. "I took a little peek earlier."

"Ray!"

"What? You always want us to come to you when something's the matter but once you get in trouble you try to do it on your own. That's not very fair of you."

"You guys are kids an-"

"Three years," Ray interrupted him."Three fucking years don't mean there are worlds between us. We want to help as well, Michael."

Michael pressed his lips together, but Ray didn't give him the chance to think of something to reply.

"Your parents have fun without you. They got clothes that fit and shoes that don't fall apart. They have fun and go on vacations and whatever. And you? They left you to rot somewhere where they don't have to think about you."

It was a shock to his system to hear someone else say it. Those hateful words sounded worse spoken out loud, but Ray wasn't done. No, he sat there in his pajamas and looked way older than he actually was.

"Don't you think I can relate to that? I mean your parents at least gave it a try before giving you away, right? Mine just wrapped me in a blanket and threw me away like garbage. Literally! If that hobo wouldn't have found me in the dumpster, well-" He crossed his fingers in front of his throat while making a choking sound.

Michael couldn't help but shiver. He had never liked to hear Ray talk about his past and he also avoided thinking about it himself. It was just too cruel and unnecessary cold. On Ray's face, though, he saw no reaction.

"I was unwanted as well," he went on, "and I figure my parents have it better now without me. Actually, who knows, maybe they are dead or something. I wouldn't recognize them if my life depended on it."

"Ray..."

Ray lifted his hand to keep him quiet. "Back then, when I started to truly grasp what had happened to me I figured that it was my fault. Something had to be wrong with me, right? In all those movies and shows every parent is so overjoyed when they hold their child in their arms. Never saw someone just take it and chuck it in a trashcan." He chuckled to himself, something dark in his voice. "So I guess I started to hate myself. At first, I didn't get that, I mean I was so young that I didn't know any other feeling. I didn't know how else I could see myself! So I kept away and didn't interact with anyone. They actually thought I was stupid or something, mentally challenged, whatever. I could talk but I never did until you came around."

Ray smiled to himself. "Actually I don't remember much before you came around which is fair enough because I was like a toddler but they told me about it, and talking to you, Michael... or rather you talking to me meant a lot. There were a ton of kids there but somehow... somehow you chose me, and that decision changed my life. I'm old enough to understand that now because besides you there was nothing. There was no future or family or any other funny word. I was just existing and then... well..."

He trailed off and pulled his legs against his chest. Wrapping his arms around his knees, he gazed at his bare feet.

"Michael, you taught me not to hate myself for being unwanted. Even more, you wanted me. I wasn't a mistake or garbage or a waste of life to you. I was Ray and you were Michael. You were mine."

Ray laughed, awkward and with a tight voice but when he looked up, looked straight at Michael his eyes were shining and his face flushed.

"So you can be sad because of your parents. I was sad as well, but don't hate yourself. Please don't, because then everything you taught me was a lie and I don't want it to be. I want it to be true because I don't hate myself, not anymore. You wanted me and Gavin wanted me and that's good, that's enough for me and the same goes for you." reaching out he took Michael's hand in his. "Both me and Gavin want you. I hope that's enough."

Michael didn't know what to say. Ray's hand felt small in his, but not as small as all those years ago, and he was holding on with an unknown strength. His eyes though, those was what captured him. They were looking right at him, something that Ray usually avoided doing, but like this Michael could tell he was being honest, that he meant every word he said, and he felt a lump form in his throat.

'When did you grow up?' would be a good question. 'I was looking at you all this time and I still didn't notice. When did this happen?'

The words didn't make it passed his lips and a part of him knew that it didn't matter. Ray was strong, stronger than most people gave him credit for; after all he had survived this long in a world that didn't want him, but he had carved his own space out. Had fought tooth and nail to be allowed to exist and here he was now.

"It's enough." The words came out thick and quiet but they made Ray smile anyway. "You and Gavin are more than enough for me."

"I'm glad." Ray got up and hugged him then. His pajamas felt very soft as Michael hid his face against the other's chest, and it smelled like him, like Ray. The cast pressed a bit awkwardly against his back but he didn't mind.

He didn't cry, there were no tears left after crying so much already, but he soaked up the comfort because yeah, today he needed comfort. He was still sad and hurt and a little bit lost, but unwanted? No, he wasn't unwanted. Right here was where he was meant to be.

 

He woke up to soft voices in his room and found Gavin in front of his bed. The boy had the photos in his hand, going through them, and at first Michael felt a jolt of panic. Then he realized that Ray was also still there, curled against his back, and the two were talking.

When Gavin noticed that Michael was awake he smiled and kneeled down in front of the bed so Michael didn't have to sit up.

"What's your sister called?"

"Sarah."

"That's a pretty name." He looked back down at the pictures, it was the one where Sarah was on the shoulders of his father, seemingly at the top of the world.

"She has your hair," Gavin went on. "She even smiles like you! Look, she has dimples!"

Michael hadn't noticed that before; he hadn't even thought properly about Sarah. About his sister. Of course they looked alike, but now that Gavin mentioned it he couldn't unsee it. Maybe he didn't want to anyway.

It wasn't her fault; she had nothing to do with this whole mess. She had done the same as they all did and had been born. Sarah didn't know about him, he was pretty sure about that, but she looked happy. Michael hoped she really was.

"You're a big brother now," Gavin told him. "She's your little sister!"

As if they weren't as much his siblings as this girl, even more so. Maybe blood wasn't as important in that case. Still, those words made him happy and when Gavin handed him the photos, he couldn't help but smile as well.

 

When Michael entered Geoff's office the next day, Geoff immediately got up from behind his desk.

"Michael! How are you? I'm so sorry I showed you those pictures an-"

"I'm fine, Geoff," he interrupted him gently. "It's okay, really. It hurt at first but now I worked through it and well... it's okay."

It was. After his talk with Ray and after Gavin showed him the same photos but with a different perspective, he felt at peace. He had taken a full day afterward to think then and nobody had bothered him. Sitting on the patio and looking out over Los Santos, it was easier to think, or maybe he could just be more honest with himself after the hurt.

His inside had felt like an infected wound and all his poking had only caused more pain. Now that all the badness was out of it and he had finally faced it he still felt tender but... yeah, he felt fine. It was nice.

Maybe Geoff could see it somehow, because as frantic as he had appeared when Michael had stepped in, he relaxed now and sat down. Michael also stepped towards his desk but didn't take the seat.

"I made a decision," he began, and saying it out loud made his heart beat faster. Not from fear, but excitement. He had talked with both Ray and Gavin about it and they had agreed, but he had seen that coming. They had all just waited for him. "We want to stay here, at the house and with the crew. We would love if you could provide for us until we are ready to do it yourself. That offer is still very generous of you and we appreciate it."

He grinned when Geoff's eyes got big.

"I want Ray and Gavin to have everything after having nothing. I want them to be educated and find good jobs and be kids. They have enough to worry about once they grow up but for now they are happy and that's what matters."

"Like I said, I will gladly provide a private tutor for all three of you."

Michael shook his head. "Not for me."

"What do you mean?" There was something alarmed in Geoff's voice and Michael quickly tried to appease him.

"Listen, the reason why I hesitated so long with making up my mind is because I need a purpose. When you provide for everything, when Ray and Gavin are safe, then I won't know what to do. I can't just be a kid and learn and go on to have a simple job. I need something to look forward to, something I have to care about because I always have. Without a purpose, I just feel... lost. Let me join this crew."

"No, you're way too young."

"I want to help like Jeremy then, I want to learn how to run this city," Michael pushed on. "Not necessarily with a gun, but maybe I can change things. I can't on my own but the Fakes are so powerful that I could pull it off. I could find a way to help people, kids like me! That's what you want, right? To avoid kids getting involved in this business."

"I won't achieve that by fucking inviting kids into the business!"

Michael chuckled. Before Geoff's raised voice would've scared him, but now he had already seen the argument coming.

"Those are my conditions, Geoff," he just said. "It's your choice to make."

For a long moment, Geoff just stared at him, actually a bit dumbfounded before he threw his head back and began to laugh. Big, bellowing laughs that shook his whole body, and Michael felt his own grin widen.

"The moment I saw you walk into this base, Michael Jones, I knew that you were a handful," Geoff told him. "I just hadn't realized how right I was!"

  
  
  



	9. Epilogue

Epilogue

 

_ Three years later _

 

"Are you sure about this?" Jeremy asked him. They sat in one of his ridiculously colored cars as they drove through an unfamiliar neighborhood.

Michael had his head leaned against the window of the car, watching as ugly apartment complexes passed by and tried to make sense of his mind. Last night as he mulled this over and over in his head it had sounded so right but now he grew nervous.

"Actually I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe we should turn around," he admitted but Jeremy didn't. He drove further, waiting and Michael was a bit glad for that. It made him smile and sitting up he looked over to the other man.

That's why he had asked Jeremy to come along.

Over the past years, Jeremy had become a good friend to him, which wasn't so surprising considering they were around the same age. It also wasn't surprising to see all kinds of mischief when they were left unsupervised. But that was the fun, wasn't it?

Michael didn't know another feeling that described freedom more than running away from trouble, breathless from laughter, and turning to see Jeremy grinning at him. By now Michael was even a bit taller than Jeremy, not by a lot but enough to tease him about it, and he loved it. He really did.

After making his decision he didn't regret it. Sure, on some days he was unsure. He had never wanted to be part of any gang, but now he was running with the Fakes. More or less. Like behind the scenes and nothing dangerous and honestly? Kinda working at a desk job because like hell Jack would let him out at the field.

The same with Ray and Gavin. He wanted them far away from any of this shit, but he wasn't naive enough to think that would happen. Not by the way things were turning out.

Yeah, they did their homework and shit but Ray was more often than not joining him while he trained in self-defense with Ryan. And Ray was good with it, not strong, but damn, Michael shouldn't be surprised how dirty he could play.

Gavin wasn't much better. He had somehow taught himself how to use a PC and had promptly hacked into their Fakes security system like it was nothing. Seriously if Michael hadn't been proud before he would've after he had seen how Geoff tore at his own hair once he found out. Or maybe it was Gavin's shit-eating grin that made the memory so fond.

So fine, he wouldn't get them out of the gang business but if that was inevitable than he at least wanted to see them under the protection of the Fakes and not somewhere on the street.

Yeah, life was good since he got out of the orphanage.

This issue here had risen slowly back to his consciousness, something to ponder about during quiet moments and he knew he had to take care of it now. Or rather he wanted to, it felt right.

With new determination, he sighed and sat up. "Okay, let's do this. It won't even take five minutes."

"Dude, fucking make up your mind." But Jeremy was laughing while he said that and Michael also smiled.

They continued to drive through a couple more streets before Jeremy stopped. The apartment complex didn't look any different than all the others around. A boring gray front with cracks in it and the little yard was dirty and the grass burned away from the sun. Still, there was an assortment of kids playing there and Michael felt his heart beat faster when he recognized his father.

He was standing there, looking a bit older than the last time Michael had seen him. An unfitting suit and a worn out briefcase in his hand. He was on his way to work, just stopping for some words with the girl in the yard, and Michael was just in time to catch him.

Jeremy touched his arm for support and Michael got out. Having them both outside made things easier, he didn't want to go inside their apartment and see his father's new wife.

Pulling his jacket tighter, he tried to act tough and the rough leather helped with that. This time it was a legit leather jacket with a wolf head embroidered onto the back, kudos to Ryan because Ryan was a sap. Once he had heard about his missing one he had gotten this for Michael.

A gift from the Vagabond would make anyone feel strong.

His father noticed his approach and at first, he looked confused. When the recognition hit him he grew pale but still moved in front of the girl. In front of Sarah, his little sister.

"Michael?"

Hearing the voice actually made him falter for a moment but he shook it off. His father was dead to him and vice versa, he didn't want to change that.

"You're alive! We searched for you! Oh God, we thought-"

"I'm not here for you," he interrupted his father, and the words helped. Yeah, his father had put his photo in the newspaper but only once, only in a small one. Maybe because he couldn't afford more, but somehow Michael wasn't buying that. A part of him was also tired of caring about that.

"I'm fine where I am, Dad. I'm safe, so you don't have to worry." He deserved that much at least, to put his father's mind to rest in case he really did worry about him from time to time.

"Dad?"

That was Sarah now and for the first time, Michael actually saw his sister. Gavin was right, she had his curls only that hers were longer, pulled together to a messy bun. Her clothes were dirty from playing outside and she was clutching a plastic doll against her chest.

"Hey Sarah," he greeted her before his father could say another thing. He pushed by him anyway because he wasn't here for him, he was here for her.

As he crouched down in front of her, her eyes grew big. Not brown but blue, like his stepmother.

"I'm your big brother Michael," he introduced himself.

"Michael!" his father snapped, but he ignored him.

"I have a big brother?"

"You do now. How old are you, Sarah?"

"Eight years old!" Her cheeks flushed with pride at that and Michael had to grin. She reminded him of Ray and Gavin and the good times back then before things got too complicated.

"Well Sarah, you and your doll look lovely."

"Thank you, Michael. I like your jacket!"

"Me too." He pulled out a business card and held it up to her. "I wanted to give you this."

"Oh, thanks." She took the card without another comment and he had to chuckle.

"Do you even know what that's for?"

"My dad collects cards like that," she explained.

"Yeah, a lot of adults do, but this one is special so I want you to look after it really carefully, okay?"

"What does it do?"

"Well, my number is on there and in case you ever need me because someone is mean to you or you have any other problems I want you to call me, no matter what, because I won't laugh at you! Then I'll come and help you, alright?"

Her eyes lit up and she looked intently at the card. Before Michael could go on, his father grasped his jacket and pulled him away from her.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing her she isn't alone. Showing her she is wanted." He slapped his hands away and his father huffed, aggravated.

"She was always wanted! Don't put anything into her head!"

That actually hurt but not as much as it would've before and Michael even managed to smile through the pain. Whatever his father thought of him didn't matter to him because he had his own family, but that didn't mean he had to exclude Sarah. Sarah was his little sister and he didn't want her to get into any trouble, but that was hard in a city like this.

She was watching them now, clutching both the doll and the card tightly.

"I'll see you around, Sarah," he told her, and she relaxed a little.

"Alright, Michael."

"Don't forget to call!"

Turning around he left his father standing there. Maybe the man would turn around and rip apart the card but Michael had ways to know that now, to find Sarah again, and make sure she had a way to contact him.

For now, though he had done enough, and when he slipped into the seat besides Jeremy he felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his chest. Yeah, he felt free.

"All good?" Jeremy asked once he started to speed off and Michael opened the window, needed to feel the warm wind on his skin.

"All good."

  
  


The End

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done!
> 
> As I said before, writing this story was a ton of fun! Protective big brother Michael is my one weakness!  
> I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did and thank you so much for your support! The playlist will follow soonish bc I'll be away this weekend.
> 
> My next story is a one-shot called Overture and is already said and done. It will be uploaded next week; until then!


	10. Playlist

 Placebo Playlist

 

   
_\- I'm no shooting star_

_Just a burning heart -_

 

[Listen on Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWQbs1V1HCsjRIgMOUbEZgsyP9JoTUMQQ) 

[Listen on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ZdEiesKu9c8FcvF8gYc8s?si=GLl1THA9S92jVej9d88Sgg) 

   
  


**Protect me from what I want** \- Placebo

 

It's the disease of the age

It's the disease that we crave

Alone at the end of the rave

We catch the last bus home

 

Corporate America wakes

Coffee republic in case

We open the latch on the gate

Of the hole that we call our home

 

Protect me from what I want,

Protect me, protect me

  


**Give us a little love** \- Fallulah

 

Where do we belong, where did we go wrong

If there's nothing here, why are we still here?

 

Leave it by it's pain, leave it all alone

If I never turn, I will never grow

Keep the door ajar when I'm coming home

I will try, can't you see I'm trying?

 

Give us a little love, give us a little love

We never had enough, we never had enough

Give us a little love, give us a little love

We never had enough, we never had enough

  


 

**Blame it on the Kids** \- AVIVA

 

Hear me when I say

Don't blame it on the kids

Don't blame it on the kids, kids

Don't blame it on the kids

Don't blame it on the kids, kids

 

Say their names, we won't forget

This is not your fight, not your fight

You played games, but we can forgive

Put down the knife, put down the knife

  


**Perseus** \- Unknown Brain

 

Flew up through the clouds at night; was born to fight

Mythical, so mystical - think what you like

You could be the sword, the shield defender of

The people down below, you know I fought for love

You know I fought for love

You know I fought for love

Be kind to those around ya' don't be merciless

Remember me for my name is Perseus

  


**The Mystic** \- Adam Jensen

 

Broken cigarettes and bullet holes

One more to the chest and I'm alone

Nothing gets me any higher

And nothing ever will

 

Try to stay sober

Try to stay clean

Wake me when it's over

Like a bad dream

 

Mama doesn't call

Sister never writes

Bet ya they would laugh

If I called to say goodbye

  


 

**California Dreaming** \- Hollywood Undead

 

Tension hidden in the question

Underneath the dreams I hold

I can see rejection in my own reflection

I can feel my dreams grow cold

Dreams grow cold

 

I'm no shooting star

Just a burning heart

We never sleep

In California we're dreaming

Running through the dark

Broken boulevards

We never sleep

In California we're dreaming

In California we're dreaming

  


**Now I don’t care** \- Unlike Pluto

 

Spent a few years waiting in lines

Now they're waiting on me

Spent a few years nursing red eyes

Now you see the real me

Spent a few years spinning these lies

Hoping that they'd heal me

In the end I'm just chasing a high

I know you can feel me

 

Now I don't care

But I don't care

Now I don't care

Anymore, anymore

  


 

**I was just a kid** \- Nothing But Thieves

 

I was just a kid; I needed answers

I found a screen; Promised adventure

Just as I thought I had it all

I pulled the trigger

And nothing happened

 

I was in a dream; I was in heaven

I saw a god; I had a question

Opened my eyes, Fell out the sky

Tried to remember but there was nothing

 

Then you gave me something

Something to believe in

Yeah, you gave me something

Something to believe in

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr and say hi!  
> https://kahnah23.tumblr.com/


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